&

 

Outsiders & Outriders

Paperweights & Snow globes

Eccentrics & Pyrotechnics

Flora & Fauna

McDonald & McCleod

Bonnie & Clyde

Mutt & Jeff

Alias Smith & Jones

Fozzie & Huggy Bear

Burke & Hare

Rogers & Astaire

Pandemic & Despair

Care & Repair

Nails & Hair

Fur & Feather

Head & Shoulders

Hats & Scarves

Marmite & Mould

Brain’s Faggots & Gold

Adam & Eve

Dwynwen & Valentine

Tarzan & Jane

This poem’s becoming a pain.

Love is a losing game

Last Monday, I walked into town. Town being Cardiff City Centre. I was surprised that I was able to book an eye test online so towards St David's Centre, up the Hayes I walked passing the Tabernacle Baptist Chapel which usually has a pithy comment on the cheese boards outside. I paraphrase but it went something like

"Nid yw Iesu yn hunan ynysu mae o ar gael wastad"

"Jesus doesn't self isolate he is available always" which is a rather irresponsible message if taken literally. The Chapel deacons can expect a knock on the door from Chris Witty and Boris Johnson. What I saw as I walked up towards the Hayes Snack Bar and St David's Hall was profoundly saddening. Human Souls in shop doorways, the homeless, drug addicts with nervous leg movements moving from foot to foot. Agitated beggars, one shouting verbal abuse at another one who finally asked me for a pound for a cup of tea. I am not a Christian so I refused the request marching  as to war sporting my 3 ply surgical mask (Made in China) 

There was no entrance to St David's Centre from St John's Square or Queen Street so I had to walk down Charles Street and come around beside the Roman Catholic Church and in behind Marks & Spencer's Food Concession before uttering the password to the High Viz Security Guard "Vision Express"

So what love am I talking about in the middle of a pandemic? not romantic love that's for sure. Universal Love, Spiritual Love, Christian Love? 

Whose job is it to look after the welfare of Cardiff's street people? None of the folks I saw was wearing a mask. I don't think they were anti-maskers. I think that they had been so worn down by life that they didn't care whether they caught the virus or not. They would get a warm bed, hot food and a ventilator if they were lucky. Beats vaping doesn't it?

You might by now be detecting an undercurrent of bitterness to my words. These poor souls could have been carriers of the virus that we have been beaten with a stick over our heads to fear, yet nobody was out and about looking after their welfare at 10.00 am in the City Centre of the Capital City of Wales. Maybe I had just missed the Council's outreach team.

What was I expecting? The doors of the churches and chapels to swing open with Christian storm troopers dressed in cassocks and Doc Martens ready to dispense food, masks and reassuring scripture?

All I remember from Church and Chapel are preachy words, scripture, do as I say and for God sake don't do as I do!

Our society has been set up for basic survival! Never mind the goats on the Great Orme or Hump Back Whales benefiting from the lack of cruise ships. What about Victor Hugo's Court of Miracles in the Centre of Cardiff?

Instead of asking me for a £1.00 for a Cup of Tea why aren't people on the breadline being offered Universal Basic Income by a Conservative Government? Because that is too much like Socialism and to use their recent phrasing it is a 'Perverse Incentive'.

What kind of perverse incentive are they offering us to wear a mask? That we might continue to live in this fundamentally unjust and unfair world.

Love is a losing game sang Amy Winehouse. Where is the Love? sang the Black Eyed Peas?

Is it in the reading of scripture on a Friday or Sunday?

Where is the love in the middle of a pandemic?

It's not in the Centre of Cardiff, I can tell you that for nothing.

        

 

Covid Blues

 

Covid Blues

People we never knew are dying

People we don’t know are dead

Their loss or ours?

It could be us next

Are you ready for your death?

Once we finish with the blame game

we look in the mirror and see the bone covered flesh.

Fragile, cracked and mental, many will die before their death

you know, give up on it and go through the motions on the couch

Life was slouch before all this and now I am armed with my resolutions

places to go and people to meet

I can’t

I don’t blame Drakeford, 

I blame Globalism and keeping the Travel Corridors open.

The Airports have been the conduits of every God damn strain under the sun.

Now you tell me, you want a Brazilian?

Shave your own pubes love, I’m busy watching TV.

Mental Health Issues, a by-product of capitalism? Guest Blog Post

 Guest Blog Post

Mental Health Issues, a by-product of capitalism?

I am deeply indebted to the owner of this site, for the invitation to explore and investigate the links, whether causal or anecdotal, between the onward march of capitalism, and the deepening crisis of mental wellbeing in the western world. As well as being an interesting and relevant discourse, I believe it will also be a valuable part of my personal journey back to positive mental health.

By way of background and context, for 30+ years, I was a husband, father, and card carrying member of the relatively well to do. Way above average salary, working across the globe for a blue chip technology company. A frequenter of airport lounges, business dinners and stock options.  Then it all fell apart.

Capitalism is defined as an economic and political system in which a country's trade and industry are controlled by private owners for profit, rather than by the state, which may all be well and good, until it is put on steroids and taken to the extreme, the rise of neoliberalism, loosely categorised as. a political approach that favours free-market capitalism, deregulation, and reduction in government spending.

These three drivers once manifested in the workplace, create a culture or expectation of, do more, spend more time, subscribe to the dog eat dog, no second place mentality. Do as you’re told, forget your values, switch off your moral compass. All bought with the vague promises of cash, status, and pseudo security.  Essentially adding up to a cynical exploitation of one’s delicate existence in the rentier environment.  Get it wrong .. it’s not just your job that goes, it’s your livelihood, your mortgage payments, your health insurance, and frankly your self esteem. I got it wrong, it cost me my marriage, my kids and very nearly my life.

According to the NHS good mental health is predicated on five core values

1. Connect with other people

Real heartfelt and meaningful connecrtion becomes ever more difficult, when others are made out to be competitors. Do you have the best car, the biggest house, the finest food. All part of the capitalist plot to drive consumption, to keep the factories efficiently burning human labour value to deliver profit to the entitled few.

2. Be physically active

I was lucky, I only worked across Europe, North America and Asia, balancing those time zones and associated jet lag, either meant I was so physically drained that the journey to bed was like a marathon … or so “wired”my cardiovascular workout could be achieved just fending off conference calls and emails.

3. Learn new skills

Ok so you get the message, I was rarely at home, and pulling silly hours, but of course my employer invested in me with training and development. Maybe not, that is a cost that decreases profit, unless it is the annual “ethics” training - otherwise known as litigation avoidance documentation .. then straight back out there to increase share holder value.

4. Give to others

Ha, as if capitalism really enables the art of random acts of kindness, any such acts are always calculated, with expectation of return … or if it is a feast day the habit of giving of presents is hyped up in importance, again to drive the need for rampant consumerism.

5. Pay attention to the present moment

Towards the end - I did, I discovered meditative techniques, mindfulness podcasts, and taking time out to imagine. Which took me to a place where I realised my values really didn't fit with the expectations of the capitalist world.  I lost it, and began the journey of suicide attempts, mental breakdown, arrest and months in psychiatric care.

So, looking forward, what do I see for the future, well firstly I have promised myself that I will pay attention to the 5 key factors of mental wellbeing! Secondly, and for those of you hoping to see calls for adversarial revolt, I will disappoint - I do believe there needs to be a revolution, but one based on empathy, compassion, and financial/ecological sustainability.  I have heard it defined as “Happytalism”, a new economic system, socio-political philosophy and human development paradigm, that places the primacy of Happiness, Wellbeing and Freedom at the centre of human development and all life.

Stay safe, and be kind to yourself

Colin

 

A nationalist lay dying

I got it then, the virus brought in by second home owners.

Lying on a Hospital Bed being treated by Doctors and Nurses from the United Nations.

I wont be dying for Wales as I had hoped

I will be dying in the name of Globalism.

Here I lie between sleep and apnoea

I open one eye and see Noson Lawen followed by Ffermio on S4C and I think 'a great man threatened to fast to death for this.'

Like a drowning man sees his past flash in front of him I see Tryweryn, Cilmeri and Efail Wen.

Heno is interrupted by a news flash,

"Trump’s Proud Boys have stormed Capitol Hill."

Putin must be pissing his pants in laughter as the guy in the next bed’s incontinence pads are changed.

There’s talk that William will become the next Prince of Wales but instead of Caernarfon this time, they will just make do with a light lunch at the Grosvenor Hotel in Chester.

My vision becomes blurred, all I see are Drakeford and Johnson melding into one.

A gang in Green rush to my bed “It must be the Plaid Cymru dream team”

Sadly, it is the underpaid healthcare assistants ready to give my bum a clean.

“Have you been talking out of your arse again Mr Williams? there’s a lot of verbal diarrhoea here to clean up”

I smile weakly

“Blame it on Them” I croak “Blame Edward I”

"That was a long time ago. Is this your Ivy leaf on the floor?”

New Year New Poem

 

The terriblest turd 

Now Freud was a man who knew a thing or a No 2. 

Turds have haunted our dreams for millennia 

Roman Soldiers doing it through a hole in a plank in Chester 

Some things never change. 

An abiding memory I have, of a clutch of turds, was looking down through a hole in the very same plank at the National Eisteddfod in Rhuthun in 1973. 

The septic ditch hadn’t been emptied for a while and little brown Michelin men were struggling to compete,

 from the Prifardd’s to the Policeman’s. 

Shit, Pooh, Turd, Dump, Cachiad cont!

 What goes in, must come out, 

with sweetcorn and carrots especially if you haven’t eaten any. 

I am not a leisurely turd man. I am an in an out man. 

Not for me a newspaper crossword and cigarette. 

I eat quickly, I shit quickly. 

Thought you should know.

 My days of smelly ones are over.

 I’m a constipated kind of guy. 

The goats on the Great Orme would be jealous of my offerings.

 Little bullets that could go in pea shooters or catapults. 

"What about you?" Said the narcissist to the fly. 

"You look like a toxic kind of guy." 

What kind of excretera shoot out of your rear end?

"Mr Whippy nine coilers" said his friend.

 Do you take a look or flush it while pressing send?

I’m ashamed to admit but once I did shit in the street. 

It was the cider you see. 

I was about a mile from home and early dawn. 

The dropping of kecks to the sound of a bicycle wheel. 

I had a reach around cos when you’re drunk 

you wanna cop a feel.

Runny old stuff, 

I stood up to the sound of the Wurzels playing a riff. 

Duw, God mun, cider shits dunt half whiff. 

I bring this confessional to an end 

The terriblest turd doesn’t do U bends.

Further Reading


https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2017/08/the-smell-of-poo.html

https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2012/02/toilet-blocker.html

https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2015/10/toilet-blocker-2.html

https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2019/07/the-ripper-of-rhuthun.html

New Year New Blog Post

 

Blwyddyn Newydd Dda & Happy New Year my Covid-19 lockdown chums. Gorra start 2021 with a Blog post seeing as I started Shark Fishing in Wales in 2012. Move the numbers around? Spooky or what? 

Yes I've been at it for nigh on a decade, the longest that I've stopped at anything probably because I love spouting shite. I would say that I've got 20 regulars. Invisible personages who would rather cut off a limb than miss one of my missives. Any number over that is gravy as far as I'm concerned.

My guest blog posts always get a good turn out so if you are a personage of integrity and you fancy doing a bit of self publicity for you and your idealistic cause then drop me a line here at Shark Fishing HQ, the big building in Cardiff with the shark fin on the roof. No, not the Senedd naughty.

Talking of which, sometime this year, May or October, dependent on the somersaulting multi variant virus there will be Senedd Elections. The usual suspects namely Labour, Conservative, Plaid Cymru, possibly Lib Dems if they still exist will be joined by a group of punctilious, pugnacious political pugilists namely Gwlad, the WNP, the Greens and the BDSM party (Abolish the Assembly) 

When I last looked the UKIP didn't exist. They morphed into the Brexit Party that morphed into a dog turd that was cleaned up outside the Senedd building by Cardiff Cleansing. 

I worked for a brief period for Cardiff Cleansing before transferring to Cardiff Parks Department. Both fresh air jobs that brought me into contact with 'real people'. The only candidate as far as I can see that understands what 'real people' want is Neil McEvoy of the WNP who is attacked and undermined at every turn by Plaid Cymru, the Party of Wales who are more concerned about the name he calls his party than about the integrity of their own.

Now Jeremy Corbyn has been shunted aside by Keith Starmer I have lost all interest in Labour. Welsh Labour or rather Drakeford in particular aided and abetted by the inscrutable Vaughan Gething have done the best job possible under unbelievable pressure and extra-ordinary circumstances. McEvoy keeps taking swipes at him but I imagine that is more because he will be contesting against him in the elections on the fair lawns of Fairwater rather than a deep seated love of the hospitality industry. The blue meanies of the Welsh Conservatives are what hot air was named after. I'm sure Andrew RT Davies was just practicing in 2020 for the annual blowing on the Christmas pudding.

I hope that a 'Green' is voted into the Senedd for the first time. How you can have a National Assembly in 2021 without a Green Voice beggars belief.

As for the Shark Fisherman there's no point reminiscing about 2020. It was a shit year for all of us and if it wasn't then you are probably somebody providing PPE for your Tory contacts. One thing I will say is that in my January 7th post of 2020 it was as if I was prophesying the events that were to unfold. The last paragraph in particular. Check it out here. 

What does 2021 hold for the Shark Fisherman of Wales? Well I shall continue to write Ken Frane short stories, I shall continue to create podcasts with my crappy microphone and I will continue to write blog posts here. Anything else is gravy baby!

Further Reading

https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2016/05/assembly-asides.html