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Monday, 1 June 2026

Pinch, punch, first blog post of the month!

 


I mean the acting community no ill will but get over yourselves! You are being paid to play. It's none of your business whether somebody in the audience is texting or on their laptop. They have paid their money. You need to shut up and get on with your job. 

Actors & Celebrities and their BAFTAS and their OSCARS have far too much clout and presence. Especially in the UK where it is predominantly plummy voiced actors who make it to the top and stay there. There are exceptions but do you really need to take yourselves so seriously?

When Drama is off the curriculum in Secondary Schools and it is only the wealthy who can afford the West End seats what kind of message is this giving out?

The person in the audience texting might have been a tourist and had no idea of British Theatre etiquette. What impression of London are they going to take home?

"It's correct what they say about London, stabbings, killings and no go areas and the West End actors are vicious"

My suggestion would be that the next time such affrontery happens in the stalls, instead of the lead actor debasing themselves in a telling off, just call for the man who sits behind the desk at the stage door because these are the people who fail GP receptionists' interviews for being too rude.

Just get them into the audience with their torches and opera glasses and when you have discovered the miscreant make sure that you bawl them out in front of everybody in received pronunciation by shouting up to the leading lady in the process.

"M'lady this scabby urchin was in the cheap seats and he had the affrontery to interrupt your soliloquy. We will take him down to the bowels of the stage door and give him a right good kicking in his testicles. What do you mean your name is Andrew Mountbatten Windsor? Ms Pike, please to tell Ms Stevenson that the gentleman texting on his phone was King Charles III's brother and that he was texting Lord Peter Mandelson. They both deny any wrongdoing"

And with that the cast and crew exit stage left because they are all a bunch of woke lefty bastards! 


Further Reading

 https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2012/03/free-theatre-movement.html

https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2012/12/in-yer-face-theatre.html

Pinch, punch, first blog post of the month!

  I mean the acting community no ill will but get over yourselves! You are being paid to play. It's none of your business whether somebo...

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How To Be Idle
Second Sight
Freud: The Key Ideas
The Yellow World
Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other
Going Mad?: Understanding Mental Illness
Back To Sanity: Healing the Madness of Our Minds
Ham on Rye
Electroboy: A Memoir of Mania
Memories, Dreams, Reflections
Mavericks
Murder in Amsterdam: The Death of Theo van Gogh and the Limits of Tolerance
On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft
I Bought a Mountain
Hovel in the Hills: An Account of the Simple Life
Ring of Bright Water
The Thirty-Nine Steps
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
The Seat of the Soul


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