Cymru/Wales: Bipolar Nation

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Friday 30 October 2020

Mr Starmer: What a Bummer

 


Mr Starmer, what a Bummer
I won't call you Sir Keir
Camp Labour you are shaming
Suspending Corbyn was bloody disgusting.
You went brown nosing with the Blairites
You regressed back to the center.
You remember Dennis Skinner?
You wouldn't invite him to Queen's Counsel Dinner.
All the workers hate the bosses
You Starmer are denigrator
And the Head Coach wants no Lefties
He keeps talking about something called New Labour
Now I don't want this should scare you
You remember Jeremy Corbyn?
They're about to organise a Socialist Party
(Reverb & Echo)
Take Labour home oh Nye and Hardie
I hate Starmer's Labour
Don't leave me out in Epping Forest
where I might get eaten by a Blair.
Take Labour home
Stop making noise and messing the house with other boys.
Oh please don't make me stay
Jezza's been suspended one whole day.
Mr Starmer, what a Bummer
I wont call you Sir Keir
Camp Labour you are shaming
Suspending Corbyn was bloody disgusting,
wait a minute, what's that wailing.
Margaret Hodge has stopped complaining
Playing fair now?
Gee, that's better
Re-instate Corbyn with a sorry letter. 

Tuesday 27 October 2020

Syniad ydy Cymru

Dwi newydd gael yr ysfa i sgrifennu rhywbeth yn Gymraeg. Mae'n hwyr ond mae yna rywbeth yn corddi ynddai ac wedi bod er stalwm. Rhwystredigaeth o fod yng nghlwm i un wlad a'r wlad yna ydy Cymru. Dydy hyn ddim i wneud gyda chyfnod y clo. Mi roeddwn yn teimlo fy mod yn boddi cyn hyn. Caerdydd, Aberystwyth, weithiau Caernarfon, yn anaml Rhuthun and all points in between. Dwi di gresynu gyda'r diffeithwch.

Mi roedd y twristiaid arfer dod yma a meddwl ei fod yn odidog ond sbariwch eiliad i feddwl am y rhai sydd ddim yn gallu gadael oherwydd dyletswyddau teuluol. Dwi ddim yn meddwl erbyn hyn tasa na ddewis yn y dyfodol faswn ni yn aros yma, gwlad annibynnol neu beidio.

Dwi wedi blino ar y Yes Cymru rownd y rîl mha. Ble maen nhw wedi bod dros y degawdau diwethaf? Yn cuddio yn rhengoedd Plaid Cymru ac wedi ffeindio cyfle gyda'r pandemic i wthio'r agendor ar y cyfryngau cymdeithasol. Mi roeddent yn gorymdeithio blwyddyn ddiwethaf, Caerdydd, Merthyr a  Caernarfon.

Dwi'n teimlo fel rhyw fath o fradwr yn sgrifennu hwn ond mae'r wefr roedd gynnai am annibyniaeth i Gymru ddim mor gryf ag oedd o bellach. Pam? Dwi'n cwestiynu fy hun yn aml ag yr unig ateb ydy oherwydd dwi wedi byw tu allan i Gymru ac wedi bod yn dyst i ddioddef cymdeithasol yn Lloegr sydd erbyn hyn yn gwneud i mi amau cenedlaetholdeb.  "Mi wnawn ni edrych ar ôl y rhai sydd yn dioddef yn well na'r rhai sydd wrthi ar hyn o bryd?" Yn wir? Y pwynt mawr gyda sawl un ydy "Annibyniaeth Gyntaf" ag mi wnawn ni sortio ein problemau allan ar ôl ni.

Un llygeidiog felli, Cymru'r wlad ydy popeth iddynt hyd yn oed os ydynt ddim wedi teithio'n bell o'i filltir scwar. Syniad ydy Cymru iddynt ac mae o wir wedi mynd i bennau rhai. Iawn, cariwch chi mlaen. Well gen i fod yn 'ally' neu 'cymrawd' bondigrybwyll nag aelod o'r ffyddloniaid. Mae geiriau James Connolly yn dod yn gliriach bob dydd yn hyn o beth.    



Saturday 24 October 2020

Fire 🔥 Breaker

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-54676457


The fact that we cannot buy clothes or books in ‘Arseco’ which is my generic name for a supermarket, has not gone down well in some quarters. You expect the odd anti-masking, brexit loving, anti vaxxing personage to kick up a fuss but when it is prominent Conservative and Centre Right Independent politicians who are at it, you have to take the soother out of your mouth for a moment.


Are these politicos genuinely concerned about our freedoms and ability to buy Jamie Redknapp’s autobiography whilst wearing an Arseco sweatband or are they just taking the opportunity to give our own very nice man ‘Mark Drakeford’ a dig because they know it will get them Brownie points with a certain right leaning segment of the population?


I thought that Drakeford was a useless First Minister before the Lockdown in March but these past nine months have shown him to be on a par with Nicola Sturgeon in sticking one into Boris Johnson’s rather ample frame. The old “ I’ve written to him twice and he hasn’t replied” was a masterclass in public humiliation so now Boris the Butcher of Butcher’s Apron frame and fame has set his attack dogs of Andrew RT Davies and Paul Davies out to bad mouth Drakeford’s moves whilst Darren Millar in the North couldn’t tell the difference between slate and beef curtains.


For a country of 3 and half million people and rising we are punching above our weight on the home front at the moment with shoot to kill snipers on the border making sure that Alice from Altringham doesn’t sneak a quick weekend away in Talacre. 


Drakeford knows that the Welsh NHS is in a precarious position and he has taken action. 

Yer ordinary social media surfer has turned scientist to try and prove that this is an over reaction purely because they are now fed up of the Pandemic. If I was somebody like Andrew RT Davies who obviously enjoys his food then yes another hit to the hospitality sector is not welcome.


If this ‘cyfnod y clo’ has taught us anything, it has taught us what are and what are not essential items. Who knew before? Dining out and getting pissed are not essential practices unless you have addiction issues and/or a problem with reality. A nation with a low population comparatively had to take a broad brush approach to prevent the bursting at the seams, overpopulated country next door from continuing it’s historic habit of taking us for granted. 

“The Welsh are getting a bit uppity” 


Drakeford is a firebreaker not a fire starter. Let’s hope that two weeks of essentials only shopping in ‘Arseco’ is enough. If I was the First Minister I would have been Draconian rather than Drakeford and put it in for a month. If only Welsh Labour and “the only so far and no further party of Wales” could close down their respective parties and join together in one big left alliance, then in the name of solidarity it would finally shut up the dissenting voices of the right wing populists who will be much the poorer come November when their global mouthpiece and twitter turn Trump is removed from office. 

Sunday 11 October 2020

Death down the lane

 



The weather is wonderful and Frane escapes to his allotment. No small talk and chatting with the others today. Hiding away in the shed with the paper and some proper head down time. That was the plan anyway. A copy of Mr Murdoch’s Times under his arm and a tin of cafe creme cigars. A flask of coffee and a half bottle of the cheapest whisky in the newsagent. 

No sooner has he sat down on an old bucket and pushchair combo than his mobile goes off. The name TERRY HESTON comes up in bright neon lettering. 

Frane and Heston were studying their crim shots and biographies on the table of a cafe in Whitchurch Rd, one which was famous for its sizzling sausage sandwiches and its mugs of builder’s tea. “Excuse me love, do you recognise any of these guys please?” The waitress leans over to get a closer look and, in the process, brushes her boobs up against Terry Heston’s ears. She nods her head. “All of them used to come in here, mornings and afternoons. Not all together. He was the loner of the group” she narrowed her eyes as she looked at Mickey Young. “didn’t say a lot”  

Molloy is cursing as he gets into his van in Bute Street. “Feckin little bastard” He smashes his left fist down on the dashboard. Arthur Macey Senior watches him drive off erratically from the window of his damp offices. “You shouldn’t have upset him like that” “I don’t know why you bother with him Da” “Because he’s from the old country and we look out for each other” “Our forefathers were chased up this street in 1919 purely for being Irish and his Grandfather and my father were good pals and they are lying in state next to each other up the Western Cemetery” “I’m sorry Da but this Ken Frane business is playing on my mind” “Don’t worry my boy” he scans the Barrage or what he can see of it through the alleyways of Mermaid Quay” “He’ll be swimming with the fishes before long and not before time too”




Tuesday 6 October 2020

And Donny's death shall have no dominion

 


A bastardization of the Dylan Thomas Poem for the Top Bastard himself!


And Donny's death shall have no dominion.

Dead Proud Boys naked they shall be one

With the man in the wind and the west wing;

When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,

They shall have stars and stripes at elbow and foot;

Though they go mad he shall be sane,

Though they sink through the sea only he shall rise again;

Though Stormy Daniels be lost, love shall not;

And Donny's death shall have no dominion.

 

And Donny's death shall have no dominion.

Under the wingdings of the sea

They lying long shall not die windily (Trump);

Twisting on racks when sinews give way,

Strapped to a wheel, he shall not break;

"We're going to be out front. 

As your leader, I had to do that. I knew there's danger to it, but I had to do it. 

I stood out front, and led."                                                                   

And Donny's death shall have no dominion. 


And Donny's death shall have no dominion.

No more may Melania cry at his ears

Or waves break loud on the seashores;

Where blew dexamethasone & remdesivir

Lift their head to the blows of the pain

Though he be mad and dead as nails,

Heads of the characters are not out of the woods yet;

"Don't be afraid of it. You're going to beat it."

And Donny's death shall have no dominion.


Monday 5 October 2020

Taxi to the Chinese please!

 

A slight variation to my usual fare but I thought that I would play with the phrase "Taxi to the Chinese please" Why? I was passing the Chinese Take Away in Penparcau, Aberystwyth on Saturday night and a Taxi was parked outside slightly in the road with its hazard lights on. I then spoke the words "Taxi to the Chinese please" out loud and was struck by how please rhymed with Chinese. I then taped my voice which you can hear below. I chose to use a cod comic North Walian accent.
I chose to repeat the request a few times. As you listen you might like to consider how convenience food and convenient transport can make a dent in your wallet. There was also an idea that mentioning the 'Chinese' was somehow taboo because of the Covid-19 virus. Why does 'Chinese' refer to a take-away and not to the Embassy? It appears that the balloon has been lifted and we have returned to our take away heavens. Take Out to Eat In. This is an experiment in audio expression. Thank you for listening.  

Fruity old fruit bats

  Hello my fruity old fruit bats! That is a term of endearment by the way. I thought I would treat you to a piece of prose rather than the b...

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