Cymru/Wales: Bipolar Nation

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Thursday 28 September 2017

zombies on phones


For National Poetry Day 2017



So it must be a thing then
this zombies on phones
plenty o stock images to choose frae 
but I've yet to see a poem bout the
phenomenon
of zombies on phones
but then I have led a sheltered life
apart from that time in Amsterdam 
when I saw everything through a red screen
my Dr Jekyll could not Hyde in those days.
"So wot makes dis a poem then gramps?
it's just a bunch of words man
that you are trying to shape into meaning"
"and failing"? I reply  
"I am not a father let alone a grandfather"
"Wot at your age?"
"You been hiding your dingle a ling ting
from de damsels"?
"Look I'm in distress can't you see"?
"You look fine to me bruv
keep your chin up
even if you can't keep anything else up
ya dig"?
"Yes I dig"
"I'll dig your grave
 you effing zombie on a phone".

Tuesday 26 September 2017

Cardiff Dark 3: A Short Story


Cardiff Dark 3

by





Arthur’s long gaze pierces the sunlight across what they, the City fathers laughingly call the Bay! The day it went from the Docks to the Bay was the day that something inside Macey died. Not only were they trying to whitewash history, they were killing the darkness, the joy and the jazz. He knew students that used to come down in the 1980’s for the excitement of the North Star and the Docks Non Pol. Average people being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The wrong tablet swallowed in the wrong toilet. Some went into the gents and came out of the ladies dressed to the nines. Wouldn’t stop them coming down. The bodies found in the feeders were always young. The feeders of the Taff that fed the Dock. Deep Dock, Short Dock, Long Dock, Tiger Dock. There was no Porth yr Aur in those days. There was one Welsh Speaking Gangster of that era but another one that had been white washed from Chapel History. A man who had enjoyed the Casablanca Club a little too much. Any place is about its people.


The elites stayed up in Cyncoed, Whitchurch, Lisvane and Rhiwbina. This was working class down here. Dark, deadly and present. Not to say the bankers, accountants, councillors and local mayors didn’t come down here to pick up some rough. The girls with the shiny beads. What the punters always forgot was that these women were always somebodies daughter, sister or mother.


 A pleasure boat docks close to Arthur’s vantage point. A hen party in black lycra and pink cowboy hats alight tripping over each other to get to the bars of Mermaid Quay. These were the furthest thing from a mermaid. Valleys ladies, useless but harmless. Arthur was twenty years past his last erection. He just looked down with pure disdain. He had been spotted. “Yoo hoo old man, old man yoohoo” “I’m deaf fuck off, what do you want” “Drink, we want to drink” “ Are you blind as well as thick?” “ No need to be like that you miserable old fucker” “Why talk to me then?” “We wanted to speak with a local!” A local, there aren’t any fucking locals left any more. “What a charmer, you picked the wrong one there Sue” “Sue, if you were named Sue, then you’re too old to be out” shouts Arthur after them. They had put him in one of his long dark despondent moods, ones which would and could last for weeks on end. He had never been diagnosed as a manic depressive but enough people had told him that he probably was one, people like him who had touched the stars and plummeted the depths. People who were no longer around. Why Arthur had been spared he asked the big hombre in the sky sometimes! He wanted to go, he wanted to die? Peacefully, not in the way that he had dispatched some of his victims over the years.


He had come to terms with his own mortality in prison. Always manslaughter never murder and in Cardiff always banged to rights by Detective Ken Frane. Four officially killed but it was more like eight, Frane had not been able to pin the others on Macey. Thirty five years of his life spent in different nicks. Maybe about the right amount of time. Each one of the eight deserved to die because they were a threat to Macey’s reign as Docks Gangland Boss. A right bestowed upon him by Uncle Bertram. Bertie Riggs had earned the right but had not had a son of his own. He had sewn up the Docks of the twenties and thirties. He was even able to deal with the killers returning to civilian life after the second world war. The scars on Bertie’s face were transluscent upon his death. So Arthur, an heir to Bertie’s throne through blood and there was always plenty of that on the streets of James and Bute.


There was one body left that needed burying and that was the man who had helped put him inside for so long. The problem was, that body was still very much alive. Ken Frane was back in the good books of South Wales  police after falling foul of the higher echelons in the late eighties. Arthur had heard in Cardiff nick that Ken Frane had had to resort to security work and there was plenty of banging of enamel mugs on grey greening radiators on that occasion. It was difficult to be a good police officer but that wasn’t Arthur Macey’s problem. He often felt in his cell that he could have swopped places with Frane both tired, depressed and suicidal. He and Frane had been like that often but they had both come through it.  Arthur was in his late seventies now and Frane must be late sixties, a decade between them. A decade he needed t make up. Both legends to each other but losers and has beens to today’s hard men and police. If he had his time again Macey would have joined the force at 18 but with the knowledge of the 'Cardiff Dock’ underworld. Many lives would have been saved, many more than under Frane. A lucky incompetent and that’s what stuck in Macey’s craw, that he had been sent to prison by an idiot. He could never make the murders stick so it was always manslaughter. He had all the evidence required but the jury would always believe Macey’s motives, so much so that another group of students, film students from the Atrium, the flashy building next to the prison in Knox Rd, had tried to make a film in 2003 called ‘Macey’s Motives’ but in the end Arthur had told them to fuck off just like the hen night off the boat. Even though he was considered a Psychopath he ironically had a strong sense of justice and fair play. If the eight had not crossed him, they wouldn’t have died. Why did the human animal always have to get above his station?


So it was a race now, to see who would die first? Cardiff gangland history would be complete if Ken Frane was to go first. Arthur Macey outlives the short arm of the long law. It would be ideal if Macey could help him along a little bit.

Graveyards are full of people we never knew.



A hard people
and an accent that grates
on the ears of one who hates
as often and as much as I.
"You're very Welshy aren't you?
Come down for work ave you"?
"Madame please, I don't work
I am a Poet"!
"Not very well paid that is it"?
"I get a poet's pittance from the Governemente"
"Oh aye, this lot really invest in the creative arts"
as she dragged on a fag.
"By the way"
as she leaned into me and looked up
her skin like candlewax tallow
"Dim siarad Cymraeg"
cos
"we never had it at school"
"we were forced to have it at school"
"the teacher was an alcoholic"
I hold my skull to the sky and reply
"I'm not surprised
as graveyards are full of people
we never knew".


Monday 25 September 2017

Work Jerk













These people are not going to work
they are going to WAR
but what for?
food on the table, pay the bills, tradition
our ancestors always did it this way
knees & elbows, narrowed eyes,
weekend's gone
5 days of blood and gore
some find it interesting
some find it a chore
hang on
I'm sounding like a bore 
I want everybody to be work refuseniks
instead of sitting at desks
 thinking of something that rhymes with it
"I'm a work jerk"
still young enough to kill, not old enough to care
the thousand yard stare
anything to stop me thinking about loneliness and death
I'll go to work and get a microwavable meal for one
and some kind of exotic bun
to watch celebrities
also known as
non regimented people with an imagination
interviewing eachother
ont big screen
before I go out to the shed
to make myself a bed
Fuck it!
I'll be a boffin and make myself a coffin
and wrap myself in a shroud of
WORK!


Wednesday 20 September 2017

Bringing in the Sheaves




                     
  Where were you on the 29th July 1981? 

Going through some drawers in the house I have found the above two items that to a casual observer would give the impression that the Shark Fisherman of Wales was a rampant royalist way back then. Not so, the plastic bags, they were handing out like sweets, the tin of travel sweets in fact that were made by a company called Smith Kendon of Waterton, Bridgend founded in 1780. Let's face it, there were a lot of royalists with a small r in the Principality with a big P then. It was only five years after the Queen's Silver Jubilee and even though that nurtured an anti-establishment punk movement, the comfortable and complacent still followed the machinations of Buck House with more than a passing interest. This was before the Windsors became such a dis-functional family worthy of any episode of Benefits Street. The woman in the pictures is now dead, driven by a drunk driver and chased by the paparazzi into a Paris underpass. She was almost driven to insanity by British royalty. Her sons, now, twenty years after her death have been given the go-ahead to talk about mental health by putting their heads together. The whole thing has been carefully choreographed and stage managed. Give it time! Time is a great healer! Well it is for the British Upper Class. Carlo has just orchestrated the sacking of the Queen's Private Secretary and he has firmly got his eyes on the prize. Diana died before devolution. I remember her in a white dress as a speck on a television screen in the far corner of a farm parlour because I was helping to bring in the sheaves, as an unhappy fifteen year old schoolboy but I was happier than either Charles or Diana on that day because I was outside in the sunshine, working on the land, collecting bales of hay and drinking copious amounts of tea and eating bread and jam. That day I was a member of the 'werin datws' helping my uncle and cousins on the farm where my father was born. A community effort, a farmers' collective, the agrarian dream. 15 then and 51 now and all I've got to show for it are an empty tin of travel sweets, a plastic bag and a stirring hymn.


Schizophrenia: Have you got it wrong?




Imagine that you are at a dinner party darling and over canapes and prosecco somebody looks you straight in the eyeballs and instead of the usual I am a CEO, media executive, lawyer, Ferrari Driving testosterone fuelled suit, the person calmly informs you that they are schizophrenic! You might get paranoid, you might look to see whether they are wielding a large knife especially if you had been reading that morning's comic 'Western Fail'. Wales Online, the National Newspaper of Wales. Here we are spoon-fed the sensationalised account of a 46 year old stepfather of a 35 year old Stepson. Without reading any further, I would have said 'Jealousy'. The Green Eyed Monster is involved here. There was only 11 years between them but they shared the same woman of who very little detail is mentioned apart from the eponymous 'Girlfriend'. Reading the article, it is important that you try and put on a Merthyr accent "it was like something from a horror film'. He was "off his face after his medication for paranoid schizophrenia was changed". Two psychiatric nurses stood with him in the dock as he gave evidence at Merthyr Tydfil Crown Court. Because of his mental illness, the jury took less than an hour to convict him.
Well thank you Western Mail for being judge, jury and executioner! Schizophrenic detained after frenzied attack!
Back to the dinner party and if you had any empathy and compassion, you would put your vol- au-vents and wine down and with their permission you should ask if you could give the other dinner guest a hug. That is what people need more than medication. They need love and understanding but they wont get it from a society that is built on competition. And this is what was going on in the household of 'the girlfriend'. These two men were vying for the love and affection of the woman. The 36 year old son said "there were no motives, there was no reason". Really, had you been goading your mother's partner for being a nut job or a crazy? This of course is pure speculation your honour. 
Instead of two psychiatric nurses being in the dock with him, what about two psychiatrists? Still in a Merthyr accent now mind "Duw, you can't get them for love nor money round here, they wouldn't be prepared to live in the same accommodation as their patients and clients." 
If you want to understand the condition called Schizophrenia and it's obvious that the medical profession want us to, then you have to read the Divided Self by R.D Laing. You have to research the Soteria Movement  but you wont do that because you have mouths to feed and bills to pay. You my friend are normal but normal as Carl Jung said 'is the perfect aspiration of the unsuccessful'. We can never hope to understand 'Schizophrenia' (I hate even writing the word) while we continue to self destruct in a system like ours. We are the products of our environment. In a housing estate that encourages your poverty and worthlessness is it surprising that we hallucinate and hear voices and then perhaps we self medicate with a little bit of speed and some strong cannabis which can make us worse.  We are then administered to by a Psychiatrist from a different class background! I don't think apart from R.D Laing that there were or are many working class shrinks!      
While our newspapers do the work of Hollywood and turn ordinary folk into frenzied monsters what hope for the normal amongst us who despite our atheist and secular upbringings might just find the heart to mutter "there but for the grace of God go I" as we stumble back pissed from Wetherspoons.       

   

Monday 18 September 2017

1997





So Lady Di was already dead by the time that her ex husband's country became devolved. I had forgotten. I remember where I was when Wales became devolved. Clwb Ifor Bach! I was with an Irish Socialist Republican from Tremorfa who I don't even know whether he is alive or dead today. Dead I would imagine but I am so glad that we didn't say goodbye. I think that night was the last time that I saw him. After the result from Carmarthen came in, John Meredith's cherubic, angelic features lighting up the night sky. We legged it over to the Welsh College of Music and Drama. The people I was with were voting for Independence! I was holding an old fabric 'ddraig goch' that I had bought in Siop y Pethe, Aberystwyth, a flag that had celebrated Cynog Dafis victory in Ceredigion five years previously and a flag that had been tied to the bonnet of a car that drove past Cayo Evan's Glandennis, stopped, and whose owner had the honour of shaking the great man's hand. Dafydd Wigley, Ron Davies, Richard Livesey, Win Griffiths, Peter Hain the architects of the Yes Campaign were all outside on a very good morning in Wales. Wales, Bipolar Nation! 1997 was the year that I went to the GP and said "listen buster I am fucking depressed" A devolved Wales couldn't stop my descent into a depressive slump. At this stage I was unipolar! Down all the time with occasional flashes of anger! I had lived for ten years in Grangetown, Cardiff. That might have had something to do with it.
The doctor told me that I wasn't presenting as ill enough to be seen by mental health services. I had my degree in humanities from the University of Glamorgan but I didn't know what the fuck to do with it. Like Wales I didn't have a plan and look at the pair of us now, twenty years on. We are both in a similar position! I am now bipolar because I went high, really high, touched the stars but the problem was I was still depressed. Just depressed with a smile on my face. Many of those I knew at the time have done well for themselves. Some of them are actually in the Senedd Chamber itself as elected representatives. One is in the Media reporting on such matters! What of the Senedd? What would my Socialist Republican friend think of the fact that 7 UKIP members were voted in, in 2015? Were they even around in 1997? Cardiff, the Capital City of Wales didn't vote for a devolved Wales yet they have the building in Cardiff Bay which was Cardiff Docks before this! Souless and sanitised Mermaid Quay throws illumination on a Norwegian Church which has already been moved once and is now threatened to be surrounded by new developments. Butetown, Tiger Bay but is the Assembly a toothless tiger? Yes, of course it is! On the weekend, the new kids on the block of Independence met up in Caernarfon and Cardiff and the best of luck to them all. I feel that it is going to take a seismic kick in the balls to the Land of my Fathers to push us towards Independence. Another Tryweryn God Forbid? We didn't vote in 1997 for 'Little Britain' but this is what we have with the Assembly. Carwyn and his Labour cronies pretending to be friends with Corbyn. Tony Blair gave us a big toy to play with and we're still playing with it twenty years on! It appears no one will get bored with this soother if they are earning £60,000 a year minimum. I nearly lost my flag that night to someone who had taken a shine to it. (ironically Cynog's son in law) He obviously didn't realise that it had a history. I wrapped myself in it and trudged back to Grangetown wondering why I was still depressed. Today I realise why!        

Sunday 17 September 2017

Bring Back Bus Conductors



Not a topic that you would think the Shark Fisherman of Wales would be bothered about but I say 

"BRING BACK BUS CONDUCTORS"

Not the Customer Hosts mentioned in this article I'm not sure whether this happened on Swansea's bendy buses but the clippy made famous by the actor Bob Grant 'On the Buses' was always a welcome presence on London's buses when I was visiting or as a resident from 2000-2004. They phased them out in 2005 on the Routemasters. "The 159 will trundle and wheeze its last on 9 December - and the job of London bus conductor will be as redundant as dirigible pilot, lift attendant and public hangman."





My main point is that with high unemployment, the terrorist threat veering from severe to critical like a drunken barometer and the fact that bus drivers should be concentrating on the road and driving safely and not having to deal with miserable punters and their passes and right money only, never has there been a better time to bring back the clippy. They could be trained as mental health first aiders. They could offer succour to those trying to get warm travelling the all night buses. They could make you feel like a valued customer rather than a nuisance with an oyster pass. Rather than putting the populace on edge with armed soldiers and police why not reassure travellers with clippies on buses and tube trains. They would be able to check and apprehend sweaty individuals and their backpacks before they become incidents. They could be paid a decent salary as valuable public servants. And pigs might fly.  

Monday 11 September 2017

Blair


Sing a long a Tone

"Blair"

Blair
The moment we met you, we swear
we felt as if something, somewhere
Had happened to us
Which we couldn't see
And then
The moment we met you again
we knew in our hearts that we were enemies
It had to be so
It couldn't be no
But try 
As hard as we might do, we don't know why
you get to us in a way we can't describe
Words mean so little when you look up and smile
we don't care what Alastair Campbell says to us, you're no more than a child
Oh, Blair
Blair

Blair
If ever a moment so rare 
Was captured for all to compare
That moment is you 
In all that you do
But why
In spite of our age differences do we cry
Each time you leave us we wish that you would die
Nothing means more to us than hearing you say
"I'm going to retire for good and I'm never coming back" 
Oh, Blair
Blair

Blair
I've told you before, don't you dare
Get back into bed
Can't you see that it's late
No you can't have a drink
Oh all right then, but wait just a bit
While we, in an effort to babysit
Catch of our breath, what there is left of it
You are a murderer at this hour of the day
But in the morning this hour will seem a lifetime away
Oh, Blair 
Blair
Oh, Blair

Sunday 10 September 2017

Swallow:Wennol


Swallow/Wennol


Swallow
darting along bus lines, then checking back
holding the ball up like a midfielder in Bournemouth colors
fast like the currents
they realise that they have pushed too far up the field and pass back
"Ewch yn ôl y ffwl"
I called her that, the girl in the village pub
Laurie had cider with Rosie
but I had bitter with Swallow who was a real Amazon
She would be leaving soon too
Thirty years too young
back to Oxford in October.
I fell for Swallow under the falls
She couldn't speak Welsh but she teased me with
"syrth y cryf ysgeulus, saif y gwan gofalus"


Thursday 7 September 2017

Going Sober this October

I'm going sober this October and I have to admit that this challenge will not be as tough for me as it will be for others. Firstly I am over 50, secondly I have a Mood Disorder (Bi-Polar Disorder) and thirdly I see alcohol as a political tool used by the Brewers and Drinks Manufacturers to keep the populace pissed and disorganised. There is no way that a sober government are going to interfere with the mass production of fire water because they pay so much tax into the treasury coffers. Alcohol has caused so much pain and suffering to families and communities that it beggars belief that the 'amber nectar' is still as popular as it is. People need to anaesthetise the emotional pain and come Friday or even on any other day of the week in cities up and down the land it is Happy Hour, Student Hour, 2 for 1 offers. Supermarkets want you to buy their cheap produce. White Lightning, Dark Thunder, Buckfast Tonic Wine. Although the Scottish drunk is now a stereotype I couldn't help but notice the number of human shipwrecks around the Glasgow Central Station area who even though were not bothering anybody were obviously the worse for wear from a life time of drinking. The one product that is plentiful in austerity hit parts of the UK is Bargain Booze. 
So you see I am approaching this challenge with the zeal of the Temperance Movement. Perhaps not my place to evangelise but you dear reader, supporter, social media acquaintance, real friend, you, YOU can make a difference to Macmillan cancer support by supporting the Shark Fisherman of Wales in laying off the piss for the Halloween month of October. I have set the bar low at £75.00 as a target. I have kicked the ball rolling with a donation of £1.23. If all my Facebook friends donated the same amount we'd be there in no time. If all my Twitter friends donated the same we would achieve a much more satisfactory amount to help Macmillan cancer support in their invaluable work. I don't expect too much from my Instagram friends because they are a bit odd. I think you can feel pretty secure in the knowledge that I will achieve the goal of sobriety in October.  Diolch am ddarllen.

Further Reading



Sunday 3 September 2017

Sing your Nationalism

On Tuesday 29/08/2017 this letter appeared in the 'Western Fail.' I ran to the word processor to write a reply. They didn't publish mine but you saw what happened last night after the fans finished singing 'Hen Wlad fy Nhadau'? Tom Woodburn scored.

Don’t link language and nationalism
"The debate on BBC’s Newsnight programme about the Welsh language has understandably led to much anger. However there have been other features in the English media which also need looking at.In June The Guardian published an article on the problems at Llangennech School. This article received the usual response from language campaigners, it also provoked a reply in that newspaper by Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett, a hysterical piece in which the author exaggerated the size and use of the Welsh Not and gave the impression that people who had any reservations about bilingual and Welsh-language education for English-speaking children were the dupes of English imperialism.There was also the appearance of Heledd Gwyndaf of Cymdeithas Yr Iaith Cymraeg on BBC’s Breakfast Time which used words like “colonisation” and “oppressor”.Linking the language to nationalism in the way that Ms Cosslett and Ms Gwyndaf have done will do neither it nor Welsh nationalism any good. If Welsh is seen as the language of nationalism, then the English-speaking unionist people of Wales will not show it any goodwill. And if Plaid Cymru is regarded as the party for Welsh speakers then its support among English speakers will decline and it will become even more of a regional political organisation in this country than it is at the moment." Gwyn Meredith Brynmawr
AND NOW ME
Mr Gwyn Meredith's letter in the Western Mail of Tuesday August 29th 2017 'Don't link language and nationalism' is doing just that.
Living in Brynmawr he will know what devastation the Industrial Revolution did to the area. Providing short term jobs and a living but at what cost? At the cost of the Welsh Language. Mr Meredith obviously sees Welsh as the language of nationalism because why would he reference 'Llangennech School' and its usual response from language campaigners in such a dismissive way.  To use the word 'hysterical' in describing a highly respected female Welsh journalist's piece in the Guardian is a low blow. One thing I am sure after reading his letter is that Mr Meredith is one of the English speaking unionist people of Wales and I'm sorry but I don't feel like showing him any goodwill in this letter. Come International Day Mr Meredith, will you be singing  'Hen Wlad fy Nhadau' in Welsh or yearning for the bygone years of the Industrial Revolution when the immigrants brought in to Wales with them, their English Language?  
The Shark Fisherman of Wales. Grangetown 

Saturday 2 September 2017

West is Best






West is Best
unless your 'blacking up' for the Aberaeron Carnival
The Ffos y Ffin Farmers and Tyre Fitters were foolish
But I blame the Organizing Committee for accepting the float and then awarding it a prize.
Offering the Bobsleigh team a bribe after the Lord Mayor's Show
There is something dark in the subconscious of West Wales
but ne'er mind
put on your Scarlets sweater  
and make a joke about rape
because Welsh is the language of heaven
said Aneurin Bevan 'not'


Fruity old fruit bats

  Hello my fruity old fruit bats! That is a term of endearment by the way. I thought I would treat you to a piece of prose rather than the b...

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