The Age of Austerity

A LAMENT TO UNIVERSAL CREDIT

When the moon is in the Upper House

And the Tories align with the Devil

Then war will guide the planets

And hate will steer the stars

This is the dawning of the age of Austerity

Age of Austerity

Austerity

Austerity

Disharmony and misunderstanding

No sympathy and distrust abounding

 falsehoods and derisions

Beige living room dreams of divisions

Cannabis Induced Psychosis

And the mind's true liberation

Austerity

Austerity

When the moon is in the Upper House

And the Tories align with the Devil

Then war will guide the planets

And hate will steer the stars

This is the dawning of the age of Austerity

Age of Austerity

Austerity

Austerity

Austerity

Don't let the DWP in, Don't let the DWP in, Don't let the DWP in

Paranoia, Paranoia, Paranoia

Paranoia, Paranoia, Paranoia

Oh, shine the turd

Now everybody just sing along

Don't let the DWP in

Close your heart and build the wall of distrust

When you are lonely, close the door

Got to close your heart and let it die

And when you feel like you've been mistreated

And your friends turn away

Just close down your heart and let it die another day

Economically Inactive

I began this blog on January 12th 2012 and here is the first ever blog post. It is October 18th 2018 now and I am still as economically inactive as I was when I started it. When I began I was receiving Incapacity Benefit due to a diagnosis of Manic Depression in 2006. The net was beginning to close in however and the DWP in cahoots with French firm ATOS began to believe that they had a malingerer on their hands. I was alright under Gordon Brown but as soon as Cameron and his henchman Iain Duncan Smith came in, I and many thousands like me were soon to be put under pressure. Our lavish lifestyles of crime, fraudulently claiming from the public purse was soon to come to an end. Duncan Schmidt's Department did away with Incapacity Benefit and replaced it with 'Work Focused Employment & Support Allowance' so anybody who could carry a bucket of sand upstairs in one hand to the interview room was in mortal danger of being pushed back to the factory floor of the Memory Lane Cake factory in Llanishen. After the fifth interview Atos deemed me 'Fit to Work'  and since that day I have been ducking and diving, trying to keep one step ahead of the DWP and the HMRC. From the aforementioned ESA to Job Seekers' Allowance (Special Cases) they were determined to beat me back to unsuitable work with a big stick. Crafty bastard that I am I have wangled a cushy gig now of £62.40 a week FREE MONEY off this soft arse government under the guise of something called Carers' Allowance. Now I do feel kind of guilty because I am helping myself to the public purse and it is not the Great British Public's fault or responsibility that I have Manic Depression or aged parents to look after BUT and it is something I have thought about, it is the very nature of the Benefits system that is at fault. The Divide and Conquer nature of giving state handouts to those deemed worthy on the checklist of worthiness. The Welfare State was brought in, in 1948 at a time of real need but it has been administrated since then by a succession of governments especially Conservative Governments who do not believe in  the Welfare State. They believe in 'Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps' and getting on your bike to work like wot Norman Tebbit's Father did before he was blown up by the I.R.A. (Sick Joke Folks) The nature of work and education has changed since Victorian Britain but you would never believe it, attending a Job Centre interview. You are guilty of being a work shy until you can prove that you are innocent of laziness. After all this time period of being economically inactive I have to admit to a feeling of being a bit mouldy and a couple of cobwebs growing where they shouldn't be but I do have the knowledge that I worked for 15 years with Manic Depression and I paid all my stamps and whatever else you are meant to pay. So now that you have had my potted work history I need your help to work out a better system where 'normal' people probably like yourself who can automate for 43 years as an apprentice and then a time server do not have to subsidise the non 'normals' like myself. I feel for you, you should not be taxed to subsidise benefit scroungers SO where can we source all the money required to maintain the 'work shy' at the subsistence level that they have become accustomed to? That will probably have to take the form of another blog post. One thing that I will want to address in a future post will be Universal Basic Income I will be far too old for the cut and thrust of the competitive job market when my caring duties are over and instead of searching out for a lifestyle that is going to make my Manic Depression worse I would like to be sure that there is a little cushion there for me in my dotage because I know one thing, there will be nobody there to care for me, when push comes to shove down the steps of that job centre with the bucket of sand in hand.

Further Reading

https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2012/02/gizza-job-i-will-be-46-years-of-age-on.html

https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2012/02/atos.html

https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2013/08/a-letter-to-future-employer.html

that go mad

I admire the ones that go mad

those not afraid to feel the feels

the bods not frozen by fear

I take my Napoleon's hat off

to the few that touch the stars

and peer through the bars of

the Asylum.

Maybe we should bring back the nut houses, the loony bin, seilam

the Victorians knew a thing or two about the Protestant work ethic

if you were not 'normal' it was into

the work house or the mental hospital with you.

There would be no more stigma because we would be locked away.

I am a drain on you the tax payer and I am sorry

I tried

I did try hard to fit in

but the intrusive thoughts and in its turn depression

laid me low so I couldn't work and be productive.  

I don't think that it's right that you should subsidise me

If I was 'normal' I wouldn't be happy that somebody that I didn't know

whose malady I didn't cause

was dipping their hands into the treasury pot

and being sustained in the community.

We should be walking around the grounds in stripey pyjamas

and gurgling and burbling under the chemical cosh

instead of being encouraged by the 'work coach'

to seek sustainable employment.

Who said that life should be an enjoyment?

I admire the ones that go mad

those not afraid to feel the feels

the bods not frozen by fear

I take my Napoleon's hat off

to the few that touch the stars

and peer through the bars of

the Asylum.

  

The North South Divide anaye

Mi rydym yn bobol blwyfol. Y filltir scwar a'r papur bro ac rydym yn brwydro dan y chwedl ei fod yn beth da ond peth os ydyw yn beth drwg? Beth os ydy o yn cadw ni ti ôl i furiau caeedig. Efallai beth wnaeth Edward I gan adeiladu'r Cestyll crand yma i gyd oedd creu muriau mawr yn ein meddylfryd hefyd. Mi rydym yn bobol amddiffynnol iawn. Does dim ond rhaid edrych ar drydar ar ol i ryw gôc oen deud rhywbeth mor ddadleuol ag bod Port Talbot yn drewi pan rydych yn dreifio trwyddo fo. Mae'r trydar Gymraeg drosto fo fel fwltur ar gorff ac yn bigiad bob darn o groen oddi ffwrdd. Mae 'na ryw ofn mawr yn perthyn i ni fel pobol ag efallai'r ofn mwyaf dydyn ddim yn son amdano ydy'r ffin feddal yma rhwng y De a'r Gogledd. Mi roedd o yn broblem yn Lloegr ers llawer dydd ond ers dyfodiad yr HS2 mae'r metropolitan elite yn gallu teithio o Lundain i Brum i Lerpwl a Newcastle mewn chwinciad ond dim ffasiwn beth i ni'r Cymry. Mae y metropolitan elite ein Prifddinas yn dibynnu ar Arriva Trains Wales neu o heddiw ymlaen Keolis Violets neu rywbeth tebyg. Ydy o wedi croesi eich meddwl efallai ta strategaeth gan overlords Alun Cairns oedd Arriva Trains Wales i gadw ni yn ein milltir scwar. Faint ohonom ni yn Aberystwyth sydd wedi cael y dewis o Rail Replacement Service oherwydd bod cainc fach neu ddeilen wedi cwympo ar y cledrau ag i ble mae'r llinell yn mynd? I'r Amwythig. Lle hyfryd hanesyddol ond Lloegr ydyw! Os am fynd lawr i nerve centre y Western Powerhouse mae rhaid newid trêns a dal y Manceinion i Milford Haven. The mind boggles anaye! Faint o Mancs fasa eisiau teithio i Aberdaugleddau beth bynnag? Beth di'r peth gorau i ddod allan o Gymru? Yr M4. All roads lead to England bois bach. Mae'r A470 yn mynd o Ogledd Cymru i'r De ond waeth i chi beidio galw hwnna yn ffordd. Y tro diwethaf wnes i geisio mynd arno fo mi ges i fy goddiweddid gan Gerallt Cymro. Mae infrastructure trafnidiaeth Cymru yn chwerthinllyd ac dyna pam ydym ni ddim yn wlad annibynnol. Oherwydd rydym wedi cael ein rhannu gan ffyrdd ag rheilffyrdd sydd jest ddim yn gwneud sens. Yn lle trafod yn ble dylai'r gemau peldroed cenedlaethol cael ei chwarae, 'Y Principality' ta 'Y Cardiff City Stadium' dewch a fo fyny i'r Gogs, i'r Cae Ras. Gawn ni weld faint o'r Hwntw sydd am wneud y siwrne i fyny. Gymaint â'r Gogs sydd syn teithio i'r De? Scarcely Believe. Oni bai bod Cymru yn unedig does dim gobaith caneri o annibyniaeth. Tan i berson Caergybi yn teimlo'r un fath a pherson Croesyceiliog, teimlo fel rhan o'r un uned does dim gobaith o annibyniaeth. Allwch chi gael cangen Yes Cymru ym mhob pentref a thref ond tan i ni gyd teimlo'r un fath, gyda'r un problemau ag yr un dyheadau yn anffodus pisio yn y gwynt rydym ni ond peidiwch pisio yn y gwynt yma, Storom Callum, oherwydd fel y rhaeadr yn yr Alban, ar ei ol fydd o'n dod. 

Further Reading

https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2017/12/cymruwalesbipolar-nation.html

https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2016/07/twin-town.html  

https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2017/06/the-gogs-damour.html 

https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2016/05/sponsored-walk-or-protest-march.html

The Miners' Strike Mystery

Bonheddigion a Bonheddigesau, Ken Frane is back.

"A modern-day Dr William Price and thank God for him. He's saved a couple of babies in his time and they have reason to be grateful to him up the Llwyn residential home for the elderly”

“A lot of people have been murdered in this Valley, Mr Frane, only trouble is, it takes about 50 years to kill them off and then they are just a name in the Western Mail obituaries page”

His comrades in crime fighting still could not get their heads around the fact that he’d gone to the trouble of learning Welsh. “Welsh Speakers’ don’t commit crimes Ken” one colleague had said. “They are too comfortable and complacent.”  

Undesirables, that’s what the miners had been back in 84/85 and that’s what the homeless and the unemployed were now. The common denominator between those times? A Conservative Government and a woman in charge both times.

For some reason Canton, of all the parts of Cardiff had a higher percentage of crims. Perhaps Cowbridge Road East, the leyline that brought people through from Ely had something to do with it. Perhaps its location bordering Riverside and the Football Ground in Leckwith encouraged a rowdier and less law-abiding element but whichever way you cut it, there were a lot of crims in Canton.

 “you want to catch this killer for some reason”, those were Glyn Daniel’s last words to me. He knew that if he told me who killed Halligan that he would also die.

To purchase the paperback at a satanic price

Toxic Therapy

I'm on a roll by ere bois bach. My confessional blog posts are proving a hit. In this one I am going to offer a solution to the 'Toxic Masculinity' that has swept the globe like a Tsunami. 'Toxic Therapy' run by a woman like Pauline from the League of Gentlemen. Bear with me because despite the flippant and light hearted manner of this post I think I might be on to something. Those men who self identify as 'Toxic Males' myself being a prime example, we offer ourselves up to weekly group therapy. Any man who has been violent in his drink, any domestic abuser, any Rugby Club Hooker, any man who has ever entertained a misogynistic or sexist thought could benefit from being run through their paces by Pauline.(Oy Gareth Bennett, get to the back of the queue wuss)
Why are we toxic? would be the first question posed.
Why has it taken so long for us to address our toxicity?
Why when somebody orders us to 'Man Up' do we not immediately do as bid?
When was the last time we cried?
When was the last time that we were able to express our anger in a positive way?
Do we remember at what age we realised that we had to be 'Men' and then at what age did that spill over into being a 'Toxic Male'?
Why do we feel safer as part of the pack instead of showing ourselves as unique individuals?
Why have you turned to substances to deal with your emotions?
Would you like to tell the group about your relationship with your father?
When were you last encouraged to talk about your internalised homophobia?
Why wont you take part in a Pride march as a supporter?
(And the answer "In case people think I might be gay" will not be accepted)
All the above questions and more could be fired by Pauline at the men sat around the circle and discussions could then ensue and then the hope would be that the toxic males would be a little less toxic when they have left the session. As we all troop out we wonder why Donald Trump is standing there, shuffling from side to side, and trying to control his arm like the Scientist in Dr Strangelove.