Taxi to the Chinese please!

 

A slight variation to my usual fare but I thought that I would play with the phrase "Taxi to the Chinese please" Why? I was passing the Chinese Take Away in Penparcau, Aberystwyth on Saturday night and a Taxi was parked outside slightly in the road with its hazard lights on. I then spoke the words "Taxi to the Chinese please" out loud and was struck by how please rhymed with Chinese. I then taped my voice which you can hear below. I chose to use a cod comic North Walian accent.

I chose to repeat the request a few times. As you listen you might like to consider how convenience food and convenient transport can make a dent in your wallet. There was also an idea that mentioning the 'Chinese' was somehow taboo because of the Covid-19 virus. Why does 'Chinese' refer to a take-away and not to the Embassy? It appears that the balloon has been lifted and we have returned to our take away heavens. Take Out to Eat In. This is an experiment in audio expression. Thank you for listening.  

Gorillas in our Midst

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/33283710/buff-silverback-gorilla-drawing-crowds-of-women-to-japanese-zoo

We have two gorillas as World Leaders, one in the White house and one in No 10 Downing Street.

The Great Ginger Backed Beast, if he loses the Presidential Election could get a career as a stand up comedian.  The same goes for the Albino Gorilla, the Johnson could do the rounds of after dinner speaking IF Covid-19 ever goes away.

I don't mean to denigrate gorillas by writing this but along with Bolsanaro and Erdogan the World seems to have too many hard men in power. Men who could leave their office and go and work as bouncers at nightclubs with the snaking queues not batting their long lashes that Dumb & Dumber are working the doors.

I am not going to argue for more women leaders. Thatcher did for me there. I am going to argue for softer men. We don't need the knuckle dragging Alpha Males who can't get a comprehensible sentence out of their cake holes. As an Omega male myself I would like to see more Beta males in positions of Leadership. Capitalism has created too many bullies. There are too many bullies in society full stop.

For the sake of more caring societies we need a mixture of female leaders and Beta male leaders and perhaps Omegas like myself who have opted out of competing but who have some very good ideas as can be witnessed if you are following this blog on a regular basis.

    As the great bard Bill of Stratford said in the quote above, some have greatness thrust upon them. Whatever your pronoun, society needs the ones who do not seek great power. Johnson & Trump went searching for the top jobs as infants. They want power and influence. The difference they want to make to society requires flexing more power and influence. The hope is that both will disperse to nought.

 So where are the 'soft' lads and lasses who through by sheer strength of their kindness and humility and integrity will lead our future softer states? Hopefully this Pandemic will have knocked the rougher and courser edges from societies alpha males not allowing them access to the bar and nightclubs to strut their stuffs. The Zoos are still open and that's where the Alpha male can hopefully be consigned along with the other animal species endangered by Global Warming & Climate Change.   

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/05/15/world/coronavirus-women-leaders.html

 

The Streets of Llangollen

A lorra people like Llangollen but I don’t.

It has been my Waterloo on three occasions.

It’s a fur coat and no knickers kind of town.

Oh yeah yeah, it’s picturesque and all that,

but the only thing authentic about it is Castell Dinas Brân.

Ok, you’ve got Abaty Glyn Egwestl or Valle Crucis if you can't be arsed.

The International Musical Eisteddfod is all a charade.

Brits pretending to like foreigners who sing.

They voted Leave in 2016 on 59.88%

Clwyd South is Conservative

So I would argue that it’s not really Welsh

It’s that life in a Border town.

In about 85/86 I started work selling print for a man in Cefn Mawr

I lasted a day in Llangollen

before a nervous breakdown in 87.

He sent me my commission £2.50 sellotaped to a card wishing me well.

The second time was 2005.

I stopped off in a hired car before fish and chips on the bridge,

before flying back to Amsterdam and prison.

The Condemned Man’s Last Meal.

My last was 2016 when walking Offa’s Dyke I made the mistake

of a detour into town.

I stayed at Bensons in Bridge Street.

It was open late, great.

But the fire alarm went off at 2.30 am

and we all amassed on the street

and the incompetent owner couldn't turn the alarm off.

TripAdvisor says its good for walkers

but it wasn’t for this one,

because the same morning I walked to the Co-Op to buy food for my onward journey

South and I couldn’t get back in to Bensons for two hours. I was stood on the

pavement outside when a lady from the Chinese Restaurant next door took pity on

me and phoned patron de Benson who was as sleepy as fuck because of the fire alarm and who

 didn’t even offer me a breakfast. 

Cont!

You can shove your vintage railway up your arse.

 

Get Out Now

 Hello?

Sang Adele & Lionel Richie

Neither of them got any answer

So why should I think that I’ll get any answer to this

message in a bottle

Descendants of William the Conqueror

have carried on his legacy of dividing and conquering

Have you seen his keeps?

Sweet

If you care more about who wins the Premier League Title then

GET OUT NOW

If you are more thrilled at the Principality Stadium going back to being an amphitheatre of rugger then

GET OUT NOW

If phucking peasants instead of Covid-19 is your idea of fun then

GET OUT NOW  

One sees where one is going with this in a semiotic reading already yah!

You want us to wake up and smell the coffee jah?

Rastafari, how many times have you got to be stuffed like turkeys for Christmas?

Righteous anger and indignation don’t cut the Colman’s with the Coldstream Guards

If you don’t like the sight of blood then

GET OUT NOW

If you can’t stand the screams of an innocent prisoner being beaten in their cell then

GET OUT NOW

If you thought Kipling made exceedingly good cakes rather than poems then

GET OUT NOW

It ain’t gonna be pretty my pretties!

You can’t use the same word twice in a…..

GET OUT NOW

We’ve rolled over once too often

GET OUT NOW

I don’t mean get out of life soft lad, I mean get out of the room

Because these snotty nosed entitled bastards

Are going to see the world go BOOM!

GET OUT NOW

Cymru Danddaearol

Dwi'n rhagdybio fod y bobol sydd yn fy nilyn i sydd yn siarad Cymraeg ydy'r rhai sydd ddim eisiau cael ei gweld gan bobol eraill yn canmol fy ngwaith a chytuno gyda fy safbwyntiau. Mae'r sefydliad Cymraeg ac yn hynny o beth dwi yn cynnwys y BBC, Cylchgrawn Golwg a Llenyddiaeth Cymru ddim eisiau rhoi'r chwyddwydr ar y dyn bach ond maent yn ddigon bodlon i gymryd nawdd a grantiau ag canmoliaeth gan y dynion mawr. Mi welais un o hoelion wyth y sefydliad llenyddol bore dydd Sadwrn yn reidio ei feic ac yn edrych fel Humpty Dumpty, un sydd yn brolio'n hunan pwysig ar y cyfryngau ac sydd yn cael ei chanmol a chlodfori rhown y rîl. Mae'n edrych fel bod 'na sawl un o rain sydd wedi codi i'r top ym myd cyfryngau Cymru ddim fel hufen ond fel rhyw fath o ffwng sydd yn cadw adar bach i ffwrdd o'r llaeth enwyn. Ers y dechreuad mae'r cyfryngau Cymraeg wedi rhoi amser mawr i rheina sydd yn fwyaf balch a thrahaus. 'Y twin set a pherlau' yn fflachio ar Sianel Pedwar Cymru.

Does dim digon ohonom ni i weithredu yn danddaearol yn yr iaith Cymraeg oherwydd mae'r sefydliad yn gweld ni yn amherthnasol neu yn gweld ni fel pobol sydd eisiau lledaenu neges yn wahanol i'r un sydd yn cael ei chanu o'r capeli i'r cyfryngau sef 'diwedd y gan di'r geiniog'. Wrth gwrs diwedd y gan di'r geiniog os ydych chi am barhau gyda'r system gyfalafol. Mae'r sefydliad Cymraeg yn efelychu'r un Brydeinig sydd yn efelychu'r un Americanaidd. Sbïwch ar bersonoliaethau Johnson a Trump. Dynion sydd wedi cael ei wobrwyo am fod yn bullies. Yn hynny o beth mae o yn wyrth fod rhywun mor swil â di hyder yn ei ffordd yn rhedeg Cymru. Drueni fod Drakeford ddim am weld Cymru rydd. 

Mae Cymru Rydd yn golygu rhyddhad o gyfalafiaeth, mae rhaid iddo fo fod. Allwn ni ddim parhau gyda system sydd wedi bod yn costio bywydau pobol ac sydd yn effeithio ar iechyd meddwl pobol mewn ffyrdd mwyaf andwyol. Tasa Cymru yn dod yn rhydd o unbennaeth anfaddeugar y Deyrnas Unedig fydd rhaid iddi gael gwared ar y pwyslais hwn o wobrwyo'r uchelgeisiol ac yr hunan cyfiawn. Os yw Cymru am ffyny yn annibynnol fydd rhaid i afwyn pŵer cael i drosglwyddo i rheina sydd yn gweithredu yn danddaearol ar hyn o bryd oherwydd nid prosiect egöydd ydy annibyniaeth ond prosiect y galon ar enaid.       

The Corpse of Cathays

 

Conditioned Clones

 

Driver less Drones

 

Sugar Cube Stones

 

Beer battered Bones

 

Traffic Cones

 

Disused Mobile Phones

 

Midnight Moans

 

Student Loans

“Ken, it’s Terry, they’ve just arrested a guy over Cathays Cemetery carrying a duffle bag full of bones.”

“This guy was found wondering about Cathays Cemetery, muttering, and mumbling. They have sectioned him up Llandough because these were not your common and garden religious relics Ken. These were freshly cleaned and picked bones. A skeleton with flesh and rags on it.”

“We are addicted to the dark side Ken, remember the Bluebird Voodoo Doll? My favourite case. We played with the power and principalities on that one mate”

“I used to play rugby with him, best tight head prop in Cardiff at one time, before his mental health deteriorated. And I will tell you another thing, despite what that nurse said, he can talk and we need to talk to him”

Frane & Heston have split up and their combined forty years on the force pay dividends as Terry makes his way across Richmond Rd and Ken lurks in the shadows of Richmond Crescent. 

Available NOW on Amazon KDP

https://www.amazon.co.uk/David-Williams/e/B00QM4FIJG?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1&qid=1599298388&sr=8-1

 

Mosey & Mooch’s Picnic

Mosey & Mooch’s Picnic

 

If you go down in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise
If you go down in the woods today, you'd better go in disguise
For Mosey & Mooch and their dog called Hooch would gather there for Cab Calloway’s Cooch
Because today's the day the Undertakers arrive on the Drive

⚰🎩

Every hit man who's been good is sure of a hit today
There's lots of marvelous folks to hit and wonderful guns to play
Beneath the trees where nobody sees they'll hide and seek as long as they please
Because today’s the day the Undertakers arrive on the Drive
⚰🎩

Picnic time for Murderers
The little murderers are having a lovely time today
Watch them, catch them unawares and see them murder on their holiday

See them gaily gad about
They love to play and shout
They never have any cares
At six o'clock their murdering mummies and daddies will take them back home to bed
Because they're tired little murderers

If you go down in the woods today, you better not go alone
It's lovely down in the woods today, but safer to stay at home
For every crim that ever there was will gather there for certain
Because today's the day the Undertakers arrive on the Drive.

⚰🎩