The Streets of Llangollen

A lorra people like Llangollen but I don’t.

It has been my Waterloo on three occasions.

It’s a fur coat and no knickers kind of town.

Oh yeah yeah, it’s picturesque and all that,

but the only thing authentic about it is Castell Dinas Brân.

Ok, you’ve got Abaty Glyn Egwestl or Valle Crucis if you can't be arsed.

The International Musical Eisteddfod is all a charade.

Brits pretending to like foreigners who sing.

They voted Leave in 2016 on 59.88%

Clwyd South is Conservative

So I would argue that it’s not really Welsh

It’s that life in a Border town.

In about 85/86 I started work selling print for a man in Cefn Mawr

I lasted a day in Llangollen

before a nervous breakdown in 87.

He sent me my commission £2.50 sellotaped to a card wishing me well.

The second time was 2005.

I stopped off in a hired car before fish and chips on the bridge,

before flying back to Amsterdam and prison.

The Condemned Man’s Last Meal.

My last was 2016 when walking Offa’s Dyke I made the mistake

of a detour into town.

I stayed at Bensons in Bridge Street.

It was open late, great.

But the fire alarm went off at 2.30 am

and we all amassed on the street

and the incompetent owner couldn't turn the alarm off.

TripAdvisor says its good for walkers

but it wasn’t for this one,

because the same morning I walked to the Co-Op to buy food for my onward journey

South and I couldn’t get back in to Bensons for two hours. I was stood on the

pavement outside when a lady from the Chinese Restaurant next door took pity on

me and phoned patron de Benson who was as sleepy as fuck because of the fire alarm and who

 didn’t even offer me a breakfast. 

Cont!

You can shove your vintage railway up your arse.