The scenes at Offa's Dyke today as Mark Drakeford lifts the lockdown and the tourists flock over the border after being denied their ice cream in Llandudno and their bag of crack in Rhyl for 3 whole months.
We all thought this was going to be a proper pandemic when all this kicked off. A third bubonic plague, not this half arsed affair that has confused the fuck out of the world and his wife.
You can meet outside whilst clapping for the NHS with one hand behind your back. You can shag in your emotional support bubble as long as its a member of your family. You can now travel up to 10 miles in Wales if your emotional support sheep is that far away. Confused tae fuck bruv!
Everybody UK wide had been so good until Dominic Cummings brought his tombola table out to the Downing Street rose garden and proceeded to put the national glass eye to sleep and then everybody thought "Fuck it, I'm off down to Dundle Door or Bournemouth and Southend with my fam and the estate and we iz gonna shit in our takeaway boxes"
In Wales, people with pokers up their arse were posting pictures of Bournemouth next to Barry Island. "Look at us, aren't we good? Aren't we better than them. Look at us observing lockdown". You fools, you wait till the Bank Holidays in August. If the rumble in Ogmore is anything to go by there are fun times ahead in Gwalia.
What chance does a nation of 3 and a half million people have in proclaiming its independence buffered up against 65 million straining at the leash to sample the delights of Aberaeron, Gower, Sir Benfro,Y Wyddfa and Hay on Wye. It's only the locals who go to Barry Island and Porthcawl mun!
Personally I think tourism and its effect on the Welsh economy is over-hyped. What has its effect on the Welsh Language been over the last 100 years?
When I have been a tourist in other lands, I am the tightest, meanest bastard on God's earth, looking for the cheapest deals and the cheapest food. My bum bag is welded to my torso and if you want to know where the local population of moths have gone, they have congregated around my wallet. I cannot be the only one. The people carrier loaded up at home. Everything you could possibly carry on your wagon as you head off to Bermo or Borth like the Beverly Hillbillies. How can I blame you?
Come the Senedd elections in May 2021 (if we haven't been wiped out by a second wave of a proper pandemic) and the Nationalist vote has been split between Gwlad, WNP and Plaid Cymru thus enabling the disablers, the Abolish the Assembly Party, political pundits will be in agreement, whatever his deficiencies in a post pandemic Wales, they will say that Mark Drakeford "He had a good lockdown"
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