You think I only write doggerel?

You think I only write doggerel?
You think that it should be only on bog roll?
How can this 'being' claim to be all seeing?
You have to take yourself out of the fight 
for a long time 
to give yourself insight.
I don't hate people like I used to, 
now I have some care and compassion
because the human is well and truly fucked,
a model of bad practice.
We haven't had very good examples over the years as leaders
You know what I mean?
Despite our protestations, the Daily Mail pronounces 
'God Save the Queen'
Imagine if it said
'God, Dave's a Queen'
There's Fascists around every corner
though they tell us there's reds under the beds.
In America, Donald is getting a spanking from porn stars and feds.
Here we have Bolton and Farage propping up the cripple known as UKIP.
"God you can't say that, that's politically incorrect"
You're telling me? 
having purple ties on British Unionists in Cardiff Bay
is hardly a surprise.
Bennett and Hamilton are caught dressed as Post-Op Trannies, 
one playing with the other one's fanny.
Trust has been destroyed between people,
now it's just acid and knives, 
the hatred that lies deep inside us, 
just grows and grows and thrives.
Suicide Attacks from Hotel Kabul 
observed by British 'Kiplings' on full.
The fruit of the loom 
and the dead of the womb 
have now come to the shores of old Blighty.
A copper is stabbed in the line of duty, 
tourists are killed by machete 
and Millwall man is a 'ave at em ero'
Every politician in my mind gets a big ducking zero
in the Eurovision Song Contest of Prime Ministers' Questions.
Fawning grandiloquents like Bercow give short arses a bad name
Join a political party, if you want 15 minutes of fame.
I'd best wrap up this ditty
Cos I'm feeling rather shitty.
Good Night, 
Cruel
Cruel
Cruel
Cruel
Cruel
World

We could always give Thunderball a whirl.

Second Hand Dildo For Sale?

Second Hand Dildo For Sale?

I went to that shop once in Mill Lane,

The one that's says 'Private' above door

The bald bloke with round specs, he'd seen it all before.

I surveyed the nakedness on offer and prodded the doll with me finger

I started to get a bit bored, then thought I would present with some mischief and said

"Mine geni(t)al host, have you got any second hand dildos for sale? for sale?

do you have any second hand dildos for sale?" (Sung in Chorus)

He pressed a red button in silence and a hole in the wall appeared

music came over the tannoy and it all got a little weird
cos instead of some raunchy soundtrack
it was some half arsed male voice choir singing 'Glory Glory Hollelujah'

(It doesn't have to rhyme)

One appeared on a purple velvet cushion and in the half light I couldn't tell if it was used,
but there was no way that I was going to smell it,
so I gave him some sheckles and legged it.

Now this was no ordinary dildo, it insisted on being called 'Sir'

I carried it round Cardiff for ages in a bag marked scratch n sniff.

Don't mind telling you by the time I'd got back to Grangetown
well the damn thing had started to whiff.

I gave it its own seat at the table and damn it was a ravenous beast,
I started wishing I'd bought brand new by the time he'd finished the feast.

He burped in appreciation, jumped down and frightened the dog.
The cat looked at it for ages, then looked at me disgusted.
They knew they were in for a night of it as I started rolling a joint,
the buckfast came out of the cupboard as I sashayed to my secret drawer.
Cat and dog shrugged "What's the Point?"

The DVD started playing, the Dildo was nowhere to be seen,
the cat and dog looked shaken, they knew where 'Sir' had been.
He'd been through the house with a tooth comb, forensically buzzing away.
No stone remained unturned in his search for
something with which he could play.

His rippled head got stuck in the down pipe,
he'd even jammed himself under the door,
by the time that he'd finished his business
I wished I'd patched up hole in the floor.

Even though I was a Cardi, buying cheap was not always best plan,

I had to get rid of this rebel, whose real name I found out was Stan.

I grabbed him as he bounced on the sofa, bugger at that moment, the door, my neighbour had taken in a parcel,
what greeted her was akin to Thor.
Trembling and visibly stirred,
she threw the parcel at me
when Stan winked and gave her the bird.

I placed the naughty boy high on the book shelf for safety
and opened the Amazon brown.
There in a gold case was a rival, something to make old Stanley frown.

He knew his days were numbered so after one final fling,
he bowed down and buzzed his last to the new fellow with bling.

Now as people pass the window, some run, some stand and some stare,
Sir Stanley sits with cat & dog either side and a sign 'IN NEED OF REPAIR'

Second hand dildo for sale? for sale? (Chorus)
Second hand dildo for sale?

Any unauthorised broadcasting, public performance, copying or re-recording will constitute an infringement of copyright and I will come after you with Sir Stanley, the repaired dildo.

All rights reserved, Shark Fisherman of Wales 2018

Loner

This by ere, below like, is a bastardised version of 'Dreamer' by Supertramp

used to question the term 'Loner' as if that in itself was a criminal offence.

In an alienating world, how do you stop yourself from becoming a loner?

Loner, you know you are a loner

When you turn your back on the world, oh no!

I said loner, you're nothing but a loner

The Western Mail says "You're a Loner" twice!

despite having a partner and two kids

You know, well you know, you had it comin' to you

Now, there's not a lot I can do

Loner, you person who prefers their own company

So now you put your head in your hands, oh no

I said, "go out, try and mingle, network a little"

You know, well you know, they had it in for you 

having been force-fed garbage by mainstream media 

If you'd been a sassy, sociable, people person
this wouldn't have happened

Oh ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma

they will see anything they want to boy

they will not see that you were a desperate boy, best not celebrate boy

the right wing extremist propaganda turned your head the wrong way boy

Take a payday loan on a sunday

Don't take a life, take a holiday

Take a lie, take a loner

Lone, lone, lone, lone, lone, lone, lone, lone along

Loner, lone and lone along

C'mon and lone, lone along (come along)

(C'mon and lone, lone along)

na na na na na na na na

Loner, you know you are a loner (c'mon and lone and lone along)

Can you put your head in your hands, oh no! (c'mon and lone and lone along)

I said Loner, you're nothing but a loner (c'mon and lone and lone along)

Can you put your head in your hands, oh no! (oh, come on, oh, come on)

Oh no

A Bastardised Version of the Supertramp Song 'Dreamer'

to try and highlight the fact that it isn't yet a crime to be a loner.

In Solitude there is Strength 🦈

Top #Antonyms for #Loner are #attentionseeker #sassy #sociable #peopleperson @WalesOnline. Perhaps you could try some of these next time. pic.twitter.com/T3Et4bCOTq

— Red Button🔴Theatre (@davidredbutton) January 23, 2018

@WalesOnline would it be fair to assume that despite having a partner and two children that Darren Osborne was a #Loner and could you confirm or deny that in an alienating society that this is a criminal offence? pic.twitter.com/NJyy3BXMsw

— Red Button🔴Theatre (@davidredbutton) January 23, 2018

Blaidd Cymru

🐺BLAIDD CYMRU🐺

🐺WELSH WOLVES🐺

We need a left of centre party/movement in Wales with teeth.  I suggested this back in 2015 based on the Syriza model in Greece. With recent events in the Bay Bubble, the Welsh Labour Party and Plaid Cymru have shown themselves to be corrupt and  incompetent. The Political Party machine in the Senedd is a failed model because it is based on personality rather than policy. People have become more important than the Party and that is the way it should be. Confused? Good, well read on MacDuff. Welsh people of every language and hue are bigger than the Party Political Machine in Cardiff Bay. We need to re-wild politics in Wales, shake it up a lot to honour the memory of Carl Sargeant and Neil McEvoy who should not have been allowed or forced to fall  on their sword because of anonymous complaints and lobbyists. To use the parlance of the pussy grabber it is time to drain the swamp. It is time to drain Cardiff Bay. By 2021 there will be a political vacuum in Wales. UKIP will be no more. Plaid Cymru will have realised that by then you cannot force life into a dead body. The party is perceived to be for a certain section of society . It has been like this since 1925 and will continue to be so. The Labour Party in Wales is a moribund machine again voted for by sheep. The Conservatives are voted for by the wealthy and privileged and nobody votes for the Greens because nobody in Wales cares about the planet. Time for  the cream of Labour (and that doesn't mean you Alun Davies) and the less careerist elements of Plaid to cash in their chips and join forces for a Left of Centre Party. There is a Right of Centre Party being formulated in the north of Wales at the moment but that is so cloak and dagger I understand they still haven't thought of a name for it. A fine, upstanding friend of mine suggested a great name that would look well on the Ballot Paper  'Blaidd Cymru' or 'Welsh Wolves' in the iaith fain anaye! If the punters saw this on the voting slip it would surely take votes away from Plaid Cymru, the vacuous shoulder padded, suited and booted army who won't even mention the word 'Independence' unless they are pissed or with friends that they can trust. There used to be a character on Pobol y Cwm called Dic Deryn, well it appears that recent events in the swamp have certainly put the dick into lobbying firm deryn. What is a lobbying firm doing anyway sniffing around the Arsembly like flies round shit? If a former PC AM can work alongside a former Labour mover and shaker in a Lobbying firm then they can certainly work together in a new movement/party.   

VOTE WALES

VOTE BLAIDD

Gwr Gwadd Cyntaf y Gymraeg

Mae'r blog yma wedi cyrraedd ei chweched flwyddyn mewn bodolaeth heddiw. Dwi'n falch ond dwi'n flinedig. Er gwaethaf phawb a phopeth mae'r Pysgotwr Siarcod yma o hyd ag dwi'n falch iawn o wahodd fy ngŵr gwadd gyntaf yn y Gymraeg, Andy Warby,  i sgrifennu darn amserol iawn yn y Gymru sydd ohoni. Diolch i chi fy narllenwyr ffyddlon a brwd ag y rhai ohonoch chi sydd yn troi fewn yn achlysurol mwy allan o gywreinrwydd na dim byd arall.

Darlledwyd darlith enwog Saunders Lewis Tynged yr Iaith ym 1962.

Mae cynnwys y ddarlith yn eithaf cyfarwydd i'r Cymry Cymraeg; disgrifiodd Lewis  sut oedd llywodraeth Loegr wedi mynd ati yn systematig i ddiddymu’r iaith Gymraeg. Ym marn Lewis, dechreuodd y proses gyda Deddf Uno Cymru a Lloegr ym 1536 pan gollodd y Gymraeg ei statws swyddogol a chyfreithiol a pharhaodd y diraddiad o'r iaith am dros 400 mlynedd wrth i Loegr mynd ati i homogeneiddio ei ddominiynau dros y byd. Weithiau bu ymosodiad uniongyrchol yn erbyn yr iaith fel gwelwyd gyda'r adroddiad ar gyflwr addysg yng Nghymru 1847. Roedd yr adroddiad yn rhoi bai am anghydfod a therfysgaeth dechrau'r ganrif ar y Gymraeg ac yn mynnu bod yr iaith yn anfantais fawr i'r Cymry ac yn eu rhwystro o ddatblygu yn foesol ac yn fasnachol. Efallai siom fwyaf yr adroddiad oedd y ffaith y comisiynwyd gan Gymro o Sir Gaerfyrddin. Does dim syndod felly enw'r Cymry Cymraeg ar yr adroddiad yw 'Brad y Llyfrau Gleision'

Pum mlynedd ar hugain ar ôl darlith Lewis, byddai dyn ifanc di-nod, di-gymraeg yn dechrau gweithio mewn ffatri fach ar gyrion Yr Hendy yn Sir Caerfyrddin. Pe bai'r dyn wedi clywed am Saunders Lewis rhywbryd yn ei fywyd yr oedd wedi hen anghofio erbyn hynny; prin iawn oedd dylanwad y Gymraeg ar ei fywyd ac oedd yn sicr ei farn nid fe oedd yn gyfrifol am ddirywiad y Gymraeg - ond roedd hynny ar fin newid.

Roedd gweithlu'r ffatri yn dod o'r trefi a phentrefi cyfagos a chafodd y dyn ei synnu gan faint o Gymraeg oedd i'w clywed o gwmpas y gweithle. Rydyn ni'n i gyd wedi clywed y stori am y Sais gerddodd i mewn i dafarn a phawb yn troi o'r Saesneg at y Gymraeg ond profiad y dyn oedd rhywbeth yn hollol i'r gwrthwyneb. Byddai grwpiau bach o bobl oedd yn siarad Cymraeg yn troi at yr iaith fain wrth iddo fe nesáu atyn nhw er mwyn gwneud yn siŵr ei fod e ddim yn cael ei eithrio o'r sgwrs. Am y tro gyntaf yn ei bywyd yr oedd yn medru gweld mai e oedd rhan o broblemau oedd yn wynebu'r iaith a chymerodd y penderfyniad i ddysgu'r iaith er mwyn sgwrsio a'i  gydweithwyr.

Braidd yn optimistaidd oedd y gôl honna efallai gan fod ei unig brofiad dysgu iaith cyn hynny oedd cyflawni gradd E lefel O Ffrangeg! Cymerai ddeng mlynedd o ddysgu a llwyth o diwtoriaid amyneddgar talentog iawn i gyrraedd safon digon da i'r Cymry Cymraeg beidio troi bob sgwrs yn syth at y Saesneg er mwyn hwyluso pethau.

Beth ddigwyddodd i'r dyn hwnna yn y pendraw? Wel ar ôl dros ddeng mlynedd ar hugain, mae e frwydr feunyddiol yn erbyn y treigladau yn parhau (nhw sy'n ennill gyda llaw), ac erbyn hyn mae dau fachgen gyda fe sy'n mynd i ysgol uwchradd Gymraeg ac sy'n ddwli ar gywiro Cymraeg eu tad. Fydd ei Gymraeg fe byth yn berffaith, byth yn raenus ond o leiaf mae'n cael ei chlywed ar yr aelwyd bob dydd, a heddiw mae e'n cael y fraint o ysgrifennu darn bach i ddathlu pen-blwydd blog ei ffrind a chydfilwr yn frwydr i gadw'r iaith yn fyw fel dymunai Saunders Lewis.

Felly beth yw meddyliau fi ynglŷn â thynged yr iaith erbyn heddiw?

Mae sawl tro ar fyd wedi bod ers i Saunders Lewis mynegi ei farn ym 1962. Mae twf sylweddol wedi bod yn narpariaeth addysg Cymraeg, cafodd S4C ei lansio ym 1982, ym 1993 diddymwyd y Ddeddf Uno gan y ddeddf iaith, ym 1997 pleidleisiodd Cymru  o blaid creu Cynulliad Cenedlaethol Cymru mewn refferendwm a'r llynedd cyhoeddwyd strategaeth gan lywodraeth Cymru i gyrraedd y nod o filiwn o siaradwyr Cymraeg erbyn 2050. 

Er hynny i gyd mae niferoedd sy'n medru'r iaith heb eu newid llawer dros yr hanner ganrif diweddaf yn ôl yr ystadegau, ac wrth i mi ddychwelyd i ddechrau fy nhaith ieithyddol a chrwydro strydoedd pentrefi a threfi Sir Caerfyrddin unwaith eto dw i'n sylweddoli mai ychydig o Gymraeg sydd i'w glywed o gymharu â deng mlynedd ar hugain yn ôl pan ddechreuais i weithio mewn ffatri fach. Efallai bod hen elynion fel y Ddeddf Uno wedi'u trechu ond mae'r rhyfel yn parhau wrth i dechnoleg newydd ddod a thon ar ôl ton o ddiwylliant Saesneg i ni ar Netflix, Youtube a'r Xbox. Hefyd mae ambell 'bradwr' i'w gael o hyd yn ysgrifennu llythyrau maleisus at y Western Fail yn cwyno am y gwastraffu arian ar y Gymraeg. 

Fel Lewis dwi'n teimlo 'nad Cymru fydd Cymru heb y Gymraeg'. Rydyn ni i gyd yn gyfarwydd â'r dywediad 'cenedl heb iaith heb galon'. Tybed yw curiad calon ein cenedl dechrau mynd yn wan?

Andy Warby a'i deulu.

 Dewch yn ffrindiau gyda nhw ar

 https://www.facebook.com/andyjwarby

Group Think Gangsters

https://nation.cymru/2017/neil-mcevoy-groupthink-carl-sargant-gareth-bennett/

In the 6th Anniversary year week (January 19th 2012) for this blog, it would be remiss not to write a post about last night's shenanigans at the Arsembly. 
I have condemned unequivocally Carwyn Jones's behaviour in his playing it by the book in the Carl Sargeant case and now I condemn unequivocally the Group Think Gangsters of Plaid Cymru who expelled AM Neil McEvoy last night whilst he was in the middle of watching a film about injustice. If there is anything that rubs my rhubarb or gets my goat it is injustice especially when it involves 'The Group' against one man/woman. The Group with Carwyn Jones as its head brought down Carl Sargeant and 'The Group' led by Leanne Wood has brought down Neil McEvoy. I thought it was only bad boys in public schools that got expelled by their headmasters. Plaid Cymru seem to be following the mantle of the British Nationalists at the Arsembly and keeping the undesirables at arm's distance as in the case of Mandy Jones 
The Senedd will now have a top table of members voted for by their constituents but deemed undesirable by their parties. It is the timing of this expulsion of McEvoy that is troubling. The day after Leanne Wood's relaunch as leader and re-branding of Valleys' Socialism at the St David's Hotel in the Bay (or the Swamp as Donald Trump might call it) the Plaid Cymru Group expel the only person who might have been able to challenge Leanne for the Leadership of this rudderless ship. Leanne and Neil have a lot in common as regards their background. They are both working class but she is being worked by the middle class cognoscenti within the party and  is being protected by the Rhondda cabal. Neil as the new kid on the block wants to make a difference in politics. His vox-pops to camera are a work of art. He is a pugilists' politician who is not afraid to get his hands dirty for his people. Unfortunately once again in the 'Land of the White Gloves' there has been no serious crime and no criminal trials need be heard. Even though Karma is an Indian religious concept I can see this episode coming back to bite Plaid Cymru on its hairy, pimply posterior.

Non Welsh Speaking Santa at Castle Cock.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-south-east-wales-42663389

The Phallic Folly of Castle Cock

stands

in 

Tongwynlais

you knows

not far from

Gwaelod-y-Garth

above the 9 hole Golf Course.

Of Course!

You've got it now?

This Story is on BBC Wales News

but not on

Cymru Fyw

so it makes you ffink that the English speaking elves

at the Corporation are making mischief.

When the new head of the WJEC cannot speak Welsh

who do give a flying fig roll whether a Siôn Corn 

straight out of the Job Centre can speak it?

Cym On! We've got bigger fish to fry.

Saunders didn't say in 1962 in Tynged yr Iaith

make sure that every Santa and his hat speaks Welsh

did he?

Mam? 

What is Luvabella Doll in Welsh so I can ask Siôn Corn? 

Mam what is PJ Masks Headquarters Playset,Lego Ninjago Samurai X Cave Chaos,Num Noms Lip Gloss Truck Playset,Hasbro FurReal Tyler the Playful Tiger,Hatchimals Surprise,Melissa and Doug Chef's Kitchen,Toilet Trouble,Zoomer Chimp in Welsh?

"Egwyddor Cariad"