The man who bought a chapel just so that he could preach

 

The man who bought a chapel just so that he could preach

 

They were coming up for sale on Zoopla & Right Move. The denomination had lost all perspective and were just now selling to the highest bidder. Consecrated ground was an issue. They were being bought up by out of countryers who only had one thing on their mind and that was sympathetic restoration, living quarters with mezzanine floors where their dogs could play among the grave stones.

Passive aggressive locals didn’t get a look in. There was crowd funding after the faux outrage of the sale of a heritage site but none of these ever darkened the doorstep of a chapel when it was in full spiritual working order.

A man with a bit of money. Somebody who had spent their life working in a safe job upon retirement decided to buy the chapel just so he could preach in it. He was one of life’s many invisible men. He was completely ignored on Twitter but he wanted to be heard before he died. The rants that he concocted for social media would now be heard by the odd sparrow and squirrel on the back seats if he left the window open and spread a few nuts and seeds about. He was a musical man so he would play the organ. He favoured “Rock of Ages” and “Bringing in the Sheaves”. He liked a good rabble rousing hymn. He would then climb up into the pulpit and spread his notes upon the golden eagle, with wings outstretched to take them. There was no rabble to listen to him. A drunk kicking a stone on his way to Costcutter stopped and threw some well chosen verbals in the direction of the vestibule. No matter.

The invisible man’s voice was reverberating around the chapel walls and he was able to say anything he liked. Anything. He was a man who chose to go against ‘orthodox thinking’. Even if he agreed with the orthodoxy he would discipline his mind to embrace the counter attitude and argument.  He loved his own intellect and would get a sexual frisson from how clever he could be. An intelligence that had never been acknowledged or rewarded in his safe job over all those years but now he had found his own voice and it was being used in his own chapel.

A man from the denomination turned up to see how he was getting on

“We were so pleased that someone was going to use it for its original purpose. We had tried so many of the usual tricks of the trade, Café Church, Cyw Pregethwr Church, Foodbank, Soft Ball Play area, Mams & Toddlers group and here you are like a modern day Mr Benn turning up here at your own chapel to preach at yourself. Don’t you get bored?”

“GET OUT” shouted the Invisible Man. “I have paid you your £45,000 shekels”

Denomination turned on his heels sharpish and climbed into an appropriate car and sped off down the country lanes.

There was more wildlife on the backs seats today. In fact there were small rodents and birds in all the pews. Cats were sitting next to mice. Dogs were sitting next to cats.

'Spiritual Re-Wilding' had occurred when nobody was looking.

The invisible man went to the organ, bowed to his congregation, and belted out 

🎵“All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small” 🎵

It had cost him a small fortune in pet food but what the hell?   

   Cyw Pregethwr : Trainee Minister