I regret everything

I do quite like me because I'm all that I've got.

You'd think by now I'd be losing the plot.

Getting to a certain age, there's no guarantee of turning the page.

You've got to hug yourself and pat the very same on the back,

the self obsessed pretend they are up for the craic.

Self love should be taught in schools

but so many of us leave thinking we are fools.

We are full up to the hilt with shame and guilt

and then we're meant to find someone to complete us.

"I want to know what love is, I want you to show me"

Seems like a big ask.

Where do we get our ideas of how it's meant to be?

The telly, the pictures, books?

Search me!

If every life was as picture book as they portrayed

then why do we have to wait so long before getting laid?

I was 21 when I lost my cherry and the damsel in question gave me thrush

after the deed I felt like Cinderella sans scrubbing brush.

You grow older and bitter about the sexual act

because you'd been promised in life that it was a fact.

For me 'rumpy pumpy' has been as rare as a comet

Making 'luurve' on an E type's bonnet.

They never told you about the strings attached

your dreams like a china tea cup, chipped then smashed.

Regret is a fact of life

Edith Piaf lied

I regret everything

And if I had my life to live over I wouldn't do any of the same things again.

Fact.