Pwy ddiawl di Ken Frane?

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Pwy ddiawl di'r Ken Frane yma a beth sydd gynno fo i wneud gyda ni, rheina sydd yn siarad Cymraeg? A fo ben bid bont? Canu Clochydd? Beth dwi'n ceisio gwneud gyda Ken Frane ydy cael prif gymeriad sydd yn dangos diddordeb yn yr iaith Gymraeg. Rhywun cyffredin, di nod, sydd wedi mynd wrthi i ddysgu'r iaith. Gyda sawl un o'i gyd Cymry yn trotio allan yr hen ddiarheb "what's the point?" dydy o byth yn ateb y cwestiwn ond yn debyg i'r awdur mae o yn diawlio ei hun am beidio siarad mwy. Mi ddaeth Ken Frane i olwg y cyhoedd ar y blog yma gyntaf gyda 'The Dubrovnik Postcard Affair'  wedi selio ar fy mlinder i fel dyn canol oed. Troediodd palmentydd tre Biwt ar Dociau fel gwnes i nôl yn 1988/89. Mi roedd gyda fi busnes argraffu am tua blwyddyn ar draws y ffordd i hen orsaf heddlu'r Dociau.(Gweler llun uchod)
 Mi roeddwn yn gallu gweld yr adeilad allan o ffenest y Royal Stuart Workshops. Enw'r busnes oedd 'Dinas Studios' ac fel roeddech yn gallu dychmygu roedd 'na alwad ffôn neu ddau yn gofyn os roeddwn ni rhywbeth i wneud gydag cyfres drama S4C ar y pryd 'Dinas'. Mi roeddwn yn y fan hyn pan ddechreuodd un o anghyfiawnderau mwyaf yn hanes Heddlu De Cymru gydag achos llofruddiaeth Lynette White. Y cyfnod yma sydd yn dod i'm cof pan dwi'n dechrau stori fer newydd a beth ddwi'n ceisio gwneud gyda fy mhrif gymeriad ydy lleoli fo yn wahanol rhannau o Gymru. Felli yn 'Big Bother yn Little Bermo' dwi'n ceisio dadansoddi fy meddylfryd am y dref 'rhyfedd' glanmor yma. Yn 'The Bluebird Voodoo Doll' dwi yn lleoli Frane nol yn nociau'r Brifddinas ac yn archwilio agweddau goruwchnaturiol arferion voodoo. Yn 'Rigorous Mortis' ma Ken Frane yn delio gyda llofruddiaeth yn y Senedd. Cynulliad Cymru, y Llywodraeth Cymraeg yn taflu cysgod arall dros y Bae. Yn 'Farewell and a Jew' mae stori bur iawn ond yn cyfoes yn delio gyda thaten boeth y cyfnod sef gwrth Semitiaeth. Mae'r pum stori fer yna yn cael ei chynnwys mewn un gyfrol ag ers hynny mae tair stori fer arall wedi cael ei sgrifennu sydd yn 'site specific' sef wedi lleoli yn bwrpasol yn wahanol trefi Cymru. "Trouble in Tregaron' 'A Nightmare in Newport' a 'Highway to Hay' yn cynnwys tri o lefydd dwi'n weddol gyfarwydd â nhw. I mi, pan dwi'n yn sgrifennu rhywbeth, drama fer, neu stori fer yn aml y lleoliad sydd yn dod gyntaf, hyd yn oed cyn y prif gymeriad a'r stori. Dim arwr ydy Ken Frane ond pechadur cig a gwaed gyda'r un rhinweddau ag agweddau afiach yr awdur. Ffordd o therapi ydy sgrifennu i mi ac mae o yn gyfle i mi drin a thrafod pynciau sydd o ddiddordeb i mi ond mewn ffordd ffuglen, weddol saff. Mi fyddai yn parhau i sgrifennu am hynt ag helynt Ken Frane a'i ffrindiau ond dwi angen eich cymorth. Dwi angen i chi lledaenu'r neges am y dyn bach yma sydd yn rhoi Cymru ar fap datrys troseddau. Mi fasa fo'n braf tasa’r hen Frane yn gallu tyfu coesau a chael dipyn bach o hysbysrwydd rhwng darllenwyr y genre 'anti-detective' yma. Beth am brynu stori fer am bris sydd yn llai na choffi boreol a beth am sgrifennu adolygiad bach ar Amazon i mi os gwelwch yn dda? Mae Ken Frane, yn debyg i finnau yn gynghreiriad i'r iaith Gymraeg. Dydy'r ddau ddim gyda digon o hyder hyd yma i ddefnyddio fo mwy ond pwy a ŵyr fel mae'r cyfresi straeon byr yn mynd yn ei blaen? I'r Gad.    

Highway to Hay

Ifan Tonderai looked at his Mum and Dad and was sick of the pair of them. Dysfunctional love. How and why they came together in the first place? Mum working at the amusements on the front at Rhyl, 'Webbers', in the summer holiday and Dad visiting from the Wirral. Dad, the academic from whom he had inherited his brains. His mother was as thick as two short planks, that’s why Dad had gone after her. He knew that she would be no threat to him. He needed someone to cook him food, darn his socks and provide him with plentiful sex. He had inherited this sexist, patriarchal attitude from his own father. Grandpops Penbedw. Grandfather Birkenhead who had done well and ended up in a Bungalow in Kirkby.  Mum needed to be closer to her parents in Prestatyn and it was in easy visiting distance to the Wirral so the pair settled in Dyserth. Ifan was born, went to nursery, primary and secondary school and then off to Aberystwyth where he had discovered the Welsh Language and like so many who had encountered it late, became zealots and converts. His late teen angst found him refusing to speak English with his parents much to the chagrin of his father but to the amusement of his mother.

Clwb Cachgi Bum Club

Croeso and Welcome to Clwb Cachgi Bum. Cachgi is Welsh for coward and a Cachgibwm is a colloquial word for a Bumble Bee. How the humble, lovely bumble bee got to be called a coward I'll never know. Unlike a wasp a bumble bee never goes looking for trouble, it just bumbles along through life moving from one flower to another for a bit of a fumble and this is the preamble to the Cachgi Bum club. I, Red Button aka The Shark Fisherman of Wales aka David Williams am the CEO of Clwb Cachgi Bum, it is a members only club for loners and losers over 40 years of age. You should know by the age of 40 whether you are a winner or a loser at life. Any younger and it will dissuade you from trying to be a winner. I am 55 so well into my middle aged 'Loner & Loser' phase. Now please don't get me wrong, this is not to be a place of woe, sadness and what might have been. This is a place for people who are prepared to embrace the terms 'loner' and 'loser' and unlike the main stream media see them as terms that mean that you have managed to escape from acquisitive cultural conditioning. You have embraced labels that have historically had negative connotations and have identified that 'Yes, I would rather be alone most of the time' and 'I have given up trying to compete with my fellow man and woman, I do not wish to win at anything, I am just happy to exist'. These are the two key tenants of the Clwb Cachgi Bum Club. You can be male or female although I would imagine that it will be mostly males who will sign up and you don't have to be single but again I would imagine that if you self identify as a loner that you will be single. My aim, as a pretend socialist is obviously to monetize the concept and make money from other peoples' poor self image. To this end I have placed a patent and copyright on the name at the Newport office so if I find a Clwb Cachgi Bum operating without my say so then I wont be best pleased. This is not Mens' Sheds you know. I hope to launch sometime this year and there will be a membership card and wallet similar to the Dennis the Menace Fan Club but the wallet will be a Bumble Bee Colour. 

There will be T Shirts and perhaps conventions if enough people join up. As long as I can make money from this venture I don't mind,which is unlikely because I am a Loser. I don't care what happens to every one else in the club because I am a Loner. 

Remember Gang

Loners & Losers

Unite

😠 

Further Reading 

https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2016/01/in-praise-of-single-middle-aged-men.html

North & South

I'm finally finding my voice. After all these years of hiding in the shadows, I am starting to use my North & South because I am fascinated by both, in England & in Wales. As a yoof in the north of Wales I felt that I had more affinity with those who lived geographically to the East of me rather than to the West and most definitely more than those to the South, even though I was born there. The geography of Wales fascinates me and it is its geography that I feel is stopping the Independence Movement in its tracks. The eponymous A470 and prehistoric transport infrastructure is impeding the 'movement of the people.'  The Gogs & the Hwntws, the North & South Walians are different people, descended from different tribes, yet we pretend as members of the National Movement that they are one and the same. Plaid Cymru believes that it can speak for all the people of Wales whereas Labour was always a class based party and movement rather than a geographical one and this is perhaps what the Party of Wales needs to address rather than the language question. I don't know how it works in Scotland because I don't know enough Scottish people and have not spent enough time there but is there a more consistent mix in terms of from where and from whom they are descended? The fact that they sit atop England and look down gives them a geographical advantage whereas England only needs to look West for a day out, they travel horizontal rather than vertical which is perhaps more of a subliminal issue psychologically. 

It might be a cliche but from my limited time spent in the North & South of England, my feeling is that there is a more earthy, genuine feel to Northern folk. I can't say that I got to know any of them very well and that was more down to my natural reserve and general weariness around strangers generally but my observations led me to believe that the poorer the person, the more genuine and real that they were. With more wealth comes more condescension and arrogance. There are some down to earth cockneys like Tommy Steele above but they are becoming less and less in number. Perhaps the concentration in numbers of population in the South East of England just doesn't allow for a relaxing passing of the time of day. To afford to live in the Capital you need to be rush, rush rush all the time. A sweeping generalisation but as I said in the first sentence "I am finding my voice".

There is an assumption among the Welsh folk that go on Independence marches that we will be better off alone, freed from the shackles of Westminster and having watched the Beauty & Beast contest that is the Tory Leadership Campaign, who could argue with them but I feel that we need to work more on our commonality as Welsh people. To assume that we are all Yes Cymru by starting a branch and placing a sticker on a lamp post is one way of going about it but there appears to be a reluctance to hold a national discourse on the topic involving people of all political parties and persuasions, and none, on the Royal Welsh Showground at Builth Wells. Obviously shame about the Royal in the title but the Independence movement has to decide whether to ditch the English/British Monarchy model or not. Is it going to go soft Indy or hard Indy? Personally the kilt, Cilmeri beret wearing, ivy loving, blood and soil nationalism doesn't appeal to me any more as I just don't think that it is practical in 2019 where World & Global issues are far more pressing than those on our doorstep. 

If we don't create a stronger alliance between North and South Wales, between Gog & Hwntw, one built on more than supporting the Welsh football and rugby teams and competing against each other at the Eisteddfod, then the only way forward I can see is to create geographical alliances with other areas in the discredited United Kingdom. Not in the discredited Northern & Western Powerhouses but in a more focused manner with an emphasis on social welfare and mental health and well being rather than the economy and GDP. The danger with the latter is quite obvious in that it could dilute the Welsh Language and Welsh speaking areas yet further but Wales is becoming more and more isolated and more and more distanced from the decision making of Cardiff and London. There are many becoming second class citizens by default. If the caliber of politician in the Senedd in Cardiff Bay is anything to go by, if this is the type of person who will represent us in an Independent Wales then I have to ask the question "What would be the point?" The answer would be, "We need to be separate, we need to be independent, we need to disassociate ourselves from Westminster WHATEVER the cost". I can very much understand that sentiment but can the majority in Wales? If they don't, how are we going to persuade them?   

Over the last three years we have been thrown into a maelstrom of remain & leave the European Union. This seems to engender far stronger feelings that leaving or remaining in the United Kingdom. My one concern is that by pursuing this 'All Wales' model we ignore the common humanity of the people of the rest of the Dis-United Kingdom. The general consensus is that we have reached the tipping point in terms of Climate Change and Global Warming. My fear is that because of the recent vote for the Brexit Party in Wales in the European elections that we have reached the point of no return in terms of Welsh Independence. I want it because of a vague notion that we will finally be recognized as a Nation in our own right, rather than a Principality, with a Prince of Wales foisted upon us from the House of Windsor and Buckingham Palace because of what Edward I did between 1277 & 1283. Until all the Remain parties feel the same way we will be left with the remnants of Edward I's camp followers deciding what is best for us.

Now that I have found my voice you can listen to my ramblings and rantings in my bastardised Wenglish here.

Pond Life

Did you have a Pond Dipping Kit as a kid?

I must have done but I don't remember anything about it apart from a net surrounded by green plastic and a handle. Finding a newt this morning in a drain outside the house in which I reside at the moment, memories came flooding back of putting tadpoles and water boatmen in an old tea chest or tea caddy with a plastic lining. I remember that it was wooden and you could only observe from the top. We used to go looking for tadpoles and there was something mesmerizing about pond life when you were a kid. Happy Days indeed before Secondary School & Examination Boards wrung the joy of life out of you like an old tea towel. How many kids today are daydreaming of ponds looking out of the classroom window? Maybe more than we think. They are thinking of the future of the planet, that we comfortable and complacent adults are taking for granted, that's for sure. So what am I going to do with this single adult female common smooth newt? 

Any suggestions? I've got her in an old empty Nutella Jar at the moment and I have given her the name 'Nigel'. Nigel the newt. I have her imprisoned in this jar as Nigel Farage has us all imprisoned in Brexit Britain. I feel like being compassionate and releasing her but I know that some male newt will come along and impregnate her without so much as a 'by your leave' so at the moment I am doing my bit for female newt emancipation. It's amazing how such an innocuous event can bring the memories flooding back. Carefree summer days of going 'taddying' What was it about the combination of water and minute life that was so appealing to a child? Could we relate in some strange way of being under the adult's microscope and magnifying glass. Were we, the tadpoles of the world who didn't count? I am so relieved that the tadpoles of today have found their legs and are joining Extinction Rebellion Protests 

The more I write, the more I feel as if I need to be compassionate with Nigel. I might have to release her into a bigger bowl.

        

Kippers for Tea

Though it hurts to go away

The trawlermen do say

There's one thing I must do before I go

I need to gut you I know

smoke and pickle you in the snow

Now the time is moving on

And I really should be gone

But You keep me hanging on for one more herring

I love you all the while

With your cute little way 

Will You promise that you'll save your

Kippers for tea

Save all your kippers for me

Bye bye bloater bye bye

Don't cry herring don't cry

Gonna walk out the door

But I'll soon be back for more

Kippers for tea

Save all your kippers for me

So long herring so long

Hang on bloater hang on

Don't You dare me to stay

Cause You know I'll have to say

That I've got to fish each day

And that's why I go away 

But I count the seconds till I'm home with You

I love you it's true

You're so cute honey, gee

Won't you save them up for me, your

Kippers for tea

Save all your Kippers for me

Bye bye bloater bye bye

Don't cry herring don't cry

Gonna walk out the door

But I'll soon be back for more

Kippers for tea

Save all your kippers for me

So long herring so long

Hang on bloater hang on

Don't you dare me to stay

'Cause you know 

Save all your kippers for me

Bye bye baby bye bye

Don't cry honey don't cry

Won't You save them for me

Even though you're only a small oily fish

Save all your kippers for me

Bye bye bloater bye bye

Don't cry herring don't cry

Won't You save them for me

Even though you're only a small oily fish.

Copywright @davidredbutton in the year of our Lord 2019

based on a seed planted by the Brotherhood of Kipper 1976