We must be one of the most maligned sub groups in society. 'The Single Middle Aged Man'. I remember being asked by a well meaning but intrusive and annoying work colleague why I wasn't married and I replied 'I haven't met the right one' and she replied "Oh you're one of those". This was way back in the naughty 1990s when I wasn't as middle aged as I am now. I was un-diagnosed in those days. An un-diagnosed Manic Depressive. So why is there such an invisible army of single, middle aged men? It is an army that never meets together to fight the common foe of conditioned conformity. The smarmy breeders and procreators who inhabit the Sunday color supplements in their his and hers matching Aran sweaters throwing their spring-offs into the air. So why are we still single for Christ-sake? Well we might be divorced, emotionally wounded, shit scared of intimacy, we might have mental health conditions, diagnosed or un-diagnosed that makes the idea of coupling more intimidating than death and of course we might be homosexual, the LGBT without the L. When you live in an area with a high density population, you can stand out in your street if you stubbornly refuse to lose your single status. You choose to proceed through middle age, to old age and onwards to death without a significant other. "But don't you get lonely?" Of course I do you well meaning, intrusive git but being lonely is the price I am prepared to pay for not being in a miserable and stressful relationship. Stress triggers my Manic Depression. The trouble is, you become a target, a target for your own self hating thoughts. You start thinking that others are thinking, why is he middle aged and single? Is he dangerous? The reality is, they are not thinking about you. They are checking their phone. I am polite but I do not look to hold anybody's eye contact. Move along please! nothing to see here but a single, middle aged man.
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