Willies

A Poem about Willies

Ladies, we need to talk about willies

you know those things that give you babies

babies those things used as a bargaining chip

in a court of law

because that no good willy made you sore.

willies are conduits of sperm

without a johnny they'll give you little Freddie

with a curly headed perm.

It's not the willy that is the problem per se

but the wanker on the end of the willy, say?

I'm not about to defend the wanker on the end of the willy

but I gotta tell you what's on my mind, no really.

Without willies, none of us would be here

the fruit of the womb

daddy and mommy turned wanker and bitch  

We know that wankers don't use their willies well

they've got a mind of their own or so you do tell

testosterone and pheromone

man was woman in the womb but then they started to split

and then argue

as if in preparation for the divorce ahead

the wanker with the willy just wanted head.

In this day and age sex has become a crime

those wankers with their willies are now doing time

the problem I see is that we learnt the rules

 of how to interact in schools

not the best place to hear about equality, humility & dignity,

instead we saw the power and perversity.  

You don't need me to tell you I'm sure

you've seen them all

the long, the thick, the round and the very small

the arrogant and confident

the shy and retiring

If there was a Crufts for willies 

the wankers would be waving them about

trying to impress the judge.

But you are the judges ladies

and I get a strong feeling that you are tired

of the wanker and his ways

I could be wrong

it could all be a game

but

there's an awful lot of willies

feeling blamed and shamed.