£WORLD/LAND POEM

In Pound World the man behind me gave me the death stare

as I stood chatting,

I don't normally do small talk but this time

the green nail varnish and big eyebrows triggered me to say something

for shame, you're old enough to be her father.

"I thought it would be heaving by now" said I with emphasis on the heave

"It's still early" says she " "and I finish at half past 2"

Was she after my walnut whips or terry's chocolate orange?

I didn't hang around to find out (why)

cos I'm that kind of guy (shy)!

In Poundland I'd forgotten the sellotape so had to go through it all again

but this time I gave a man even older than myself the death stare

as he kept coming back to his aged partner/wife and asking her to get another 

lotto card.

She had taken forever going through her change and now Sir Lancelot on his zimmer

comes back and forth like a cuckoo clock

"get another one, get another one!"

"Excuse me you older fucker than me, there's a queue here" I didn't shout

I just fumed and practised my Pound World death stare 

The standard of my Wenglish

Now I thought that Wenglish was a 'cymysgedd' of Welsh and English not the English Dialect of the South Wales Valleys so dwi'n anghywir eto! My Cymraeg is a mixture of Welsh and English words that satisfies nobody but myself and in this blog post I would like to outline a few observations I have regarding the Welsh and English Languages. Unless you were a meany (teacher) or knew the person well you would not point out that a person had made a grammatical or spelling mistake in the English Language but in Welsh it's like a free for all.
Is correct Welsh more important than any Welsh at all?
'Dadleuol' I'm sure but if Welsh were made easier for learners then perhaps more people would learn it cos we all want an easy life don't we? don't we? Would you like to learn with a ruler hovering over your knuckles? 

Here is my Welsh CV!

First Language
Educated until 7 years of age in it.
Then education was all English. 
A Grade in Welsh GCSE as a Second Language.
Cwrs Gloywi Iaith Ysgrifynedig at Cardiff University.

So whatever 'ropey' is in Welsh, my Cymraeg is rhaffedig or rhwdlyd (rusty). I don't want this fact to stop me from writing in Welsh. I hear you say, how will you improve if you are not corrected! Well I'm not sure if I want to improve. I just want to speak and write Welsh but I wouldn't have this attitude towards the English Language. I wouldn't be so 'ysgeulus' towards the Saesneg. So why am I writing this now? Well I have started tutoring a friend. He is a full blown Brummie and it is wonderful to hear him speaking Welsh with a Black Country accent. He is a beginner but his enthusiasm is contagious and I find myself enthused by helping him. I taught Welsh as a Volunteer to adults in the 1990s for the Welsh Language Society in Cardiff and got a kick out of it but then the learners started asking about treigladau/mutations and other grammar questions and I was flummoxed so my confidence took a knock and instead of avowing to fill the gaps in my knowledge base I did nothing so perhaps my attitude to my own first language has been tainted by the lazy, instant Saesneg at our fingertips. If I do not afford as much respect to Cymraeg as I do to English then why should I expect others to have an interest or wish to learn the language. Psychology must play a part here for all learners. Why does a Brummie want to learn it? I've never asked him but to witness his keenness for something that many ignore, dismiss, insult, diminish or wish didn't exist is very touching. STOP PRESS
He told me today that he is learning it to help in his battle against depression. So perhaps that is a first because it appears to make many 'Wenglish' depressed, the thought of having to learn the indigenous brogue bro of their native country. The language cast asunder by the Capitalists of the Industrial Revolution and trampled as dust because we all know that jobs are more important than anything in the whole wide world because without jobs we would not eat and get pissed in the pub of a Saturday where it do not matter what 'iaith' you do be slurring. Language is therefore political and it cannot be anything else. By learning it you are making a political statement that you hold alternative values and wish to communicate and converse in something more original, historical, lyrical and earthy. You are learning the language of the Druids so that you can prop up the bar in Clwb Ifor Bach. Society has become so soulless and one dimensional and perhaps it is the individuals who yearn for a more 3 dimensional view of the world who put their tick in the blwch for Welsh. I shall continue to write in Wenglish and continue to tutor my friend. I just hope that he is not corrected by some well meaning personage or if he is that he is given some warning beforehand.

Better Out than In

I can no longer do it, 

I'm sorry and all that old boy 

but your Kingdom has passed its sell by date

I can no longer stand in queues and empty pews

your time has come and gone 

and like Canute we are ordering ourselves oot!

because he was called Cunedda in our day.

Your Royalty and your Westminster are getting up our trwyn

the stale stench of austerity and inequality

is not what we are meant to be.

You catch a cold and we get the bloody flue. 

We are not a Principality 

We are not a country the size of Wales.

This is Cymru butt

And we are better out than in!

Tribal

I am writing this Blog Post whilst listening to the above video so I've got crackling from a wood fire, some drumming and a flute giving it large. I thought it might inspire me to write something about tribes. Looking back over the blog and over the topics that have spurred me to write, the word and the feeling is Tribal. I didn't think that I was primitive and tribal but I must be. Living in Grangetown for 27 years has done that to me? When in Aberystwyth looking out at the wide expanse of Ceredigion Bay I have my 'Cymraeg' Head on, when I return to the Peoples' Republic of Grangetown I put my Cardiff head on. My Cardiff head looks down at the road a lot and not at the people. To be fair my 'Cymraeg' head does that as well. Never hold anybody's glance lest they think you are staring. La Grange or Glorious Grangetown is getting rougher. A lot of human shipwrecks about. I am now turning into a tribal elder. I was paid two compliments recently, one that I was showing maturity and the other that I had a military bearing. I took both as a compliment even though I am anti army. It has taken long enough but if others can pick up on something it is good to know. Personally I think that I have become over cautious especially in regards to travelling and in regards to people. "You get slapped down bruv and it makes you reticent, you get me!" I tweet against the Tories & UKIP, two right wing tribes at opposite ends of the class spectrum but both in tune against the other tribes. The ones trying to get over the channel. When two tribes go to war anaye! The tribes of East and West namely Putin's Russia and Trump/Clinton's America are sabre rattling. The Prophet of doom that I am, whoever wins the Presidential election I foresee will have to deal with a major security incident almost immediately as a test. Will they be ready? or will it send the modern tribe on turtle island reeling? When will native voices be heard? When will the indigenous tribes have their day of reckoning? Only the crackling fire has the answer! Tribal man, tribal.    

Anti Semitic Pussy

http://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.co.uk/2016/04/anti-semitism.html

Once again the Shark Fisherman has got your attention with a killer headline. Anti Semitism has again risen its head within Socialist circles or rather should I say Fascist circles. This appears to be a tactic by the Establishment MSM to destabilise Jeremy Corbyn's Labour Party. Until I hear someone say "I hate Jews" then I do not believe they are Anti Semitic and in the same vein until someone says "I hate women" then they are not misogynistic. These are not things that you can infer or speculate upon because they fit in with your script or bias. Trump has reached these giddying heights through money and his impending premiership is more a failure in Capitalism than anything else. What happened to the Wall Street Protestors, we are Wall Street? Democracy was defeated in America when Bernie Sanders was ousted in the Primaries. Clinton or Trump? What does it matter? The damage to the Superpower's reputation has been sealed with this election. The brooding Putin looks on, with the West at hysterical levels at his reluctance to engage with them. Creepy/Killer Clowns are in the Cabinet and they are wearing Boris Johnson masks. We like our taboo terms! Anti-Semitism is the taboo term for the bourgeoisie and intelligensia as Paedophile is the taboo term for the Proletariat. In the age of sex crime is an Anti-Semitic Paedophile someone who refuses to interfere with Jewish Children? How can you make jokes about such things? I'm sorry I've been reading too much Lenny Bruce. Trump used the term pussy and only now are women coming forward to say that he was sexually aggressive towards them. Why only now? Why not before? Opposition becomes emboldened when the other side appears to be strengthening. In Corbyn and Putin's case, it is their refusal to engage on Michelle Obama's low level which is sending their Blairite/Boris opposition into such sabre rattling frenzy. It is all very primal, all very caveman. In 1930s Britain it was Oswald Moseley's Blackshirts who were Anti-Semitic. In 2016 it is Corbyn's Socialists who are, allegedly. Perhaps the term Fascist needs to make a return. This again is a taboo term which has emotional resonances down the ages. As it is unfair and unjust to use the sweeping accusation of Anti-Semitism, is it so unfair to call UKip and the Hard Brexit Tories as Fascist? It has been said in Psychic circles that what we are seeing and what we will continue to see is a polarisation between Right & Left fuelled by Islamic Extremism. The cancer is in the concrete. What we are seeing playing out in the States is a direct result of 9/11. The Grand Guignole with scary masks. There is no going back now. We are on a crash course to oblivion, it just depends in which sedan we wish to travel, the one with the red seats or the one with black.       

A very real threat!

With it being the anniversary of the Battle of Hastings, the Shark Fisherman thought he would write down a few words of praise for Nicola Sturgeon and Alex Salmond, the Dream Team of Scottish Politics. They are such a dream team that they have a sizeable proportion of the South East of England up in arms against them, that is if you bother to listen to the drivel and banter, the boisterous locker-room badinage of the digital radio station LBC. I don't know why I listen to it but it's almost to confirm my bias against the 'Spawn of the Normans', the Estuary English UKippers who phone in without fail to insult Salmond and Sturgeon. They are so scared of them that the Tory flunkey Iain Dale has Salmond in on his show on a Wednesday. Better the Devil you know eh! Last night the good citizens of Redbridge & Wantage had their say, spurred on by the stirring spoon of Ian Collins UK. These good folk who shop in supermarkets and worry about the price of marmite like we do on the Celtic Fringe could not be angrier at the possibility of losing Scotland from the United Kingdom. It is as if they are personally on the blood line from that other famous Norman, Edward 1.

Much of the vitriol is now personal, making fun of their names and inferences towards their personal lives so they've lost the argument. You see the people wot listen to LBC have a 'Superiority Complex'. If a Scot does phone in, it is either a born again Christian or a recovering alcoholic living in the South East, with Stockholm Syndrome "Why the hell do they want to break away from the United Kingdom, the ungrateful bastards?" they slur.  Many of the callers are plants. They are such regulars calling in, they are more familiar than the presenters: Paul in Brecon, a retired copper in Bromley, an academic from Rickmansworth, a couple of verbose Scousers who can be relied upon for some good one liners and all the presenters do is wind people up. I normally let it wash over me because I've lived down in that area and I know they mean no harm. They are like sharks without teeth! Sturgeon and Salmond however have teeth and whatever they have in their porridge of a morning convinces themselves and us on the Celtic Fringe that the original unwelcome immigrants were the Normans and their modern offshoot the Tories. The Saxon Corbyn watches on carefully stroking his beard. I will continue to listen.  

The Killer Clown Club

A Very Short Story

The mist rose up from the moat surrounding Caerphilly Castle. Early morning and residents and shoppers were awoken by clown cars making their way to their yearly pilgrimage to the statue of Tommy Cooper. They stopped their cars and the doors fell off. Out came the large shoes and revolving bow ties. These were no ordinary clowns. The killer clowns had come to this lockdown town. The clowns in Wetherspoons pressed their red noses to the frosted window pane to grab a better look. They had been in there all night making love to the sticky carpet. Clown cafe had opened and banger shaped balloons wafted through the door. Nobody messed with the Killer Clowns because they offered an alternative to the stagnation and ennui that wafted from every pore. Partisans and patriots shuffled nervously outside the Principality Building Society. South Wales had changed mun and not for the better. Where were the Socialists? Where were the Nationalists? In hiding or dead. Plenty of small minded businessmen voting Tory but now the Killer Clowns had come to town bringing their own brand of Poundland patter. "Poles & Migrants invading this Clown town" whispered one in the ear of a panting punter. "Oooh reeeaallllly, tell me more" said the undead. "European Re-Generation has pumped hundreds of thousands of pounds into this area but they are faceless bureaucrats so we must vote against them. Come with me in my clown car and I will take you to the voting booth. We can both shout WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE as we roll down hill" Well hwyl a sbri dyma ni! Out of Europe and delivered into the arms of cottage burner Alun Cairns. As the Killer Clowns leave having first poisoned the drinking water they unfurl a banner over the drawbridge to the Castle 

"CAIRNS CARES"

This short story in no way infers that the late great Tommy Cooper would either condone or support the Killer Clown Club. 

A Progressive Alliance for Wales

If we have learnt anything from last Thursday's Question Time, it is that one urban myth peddled by the Secretary of Disgrace for Wales although libellous, outrageous and untrue, has now lodged itself in the psyche of British Wales (Neath, Neath Neath) and the rest of the United King Dong. Welsh Speaking Communities are hostile to incomers? Depends on the incomers surely! If you are a Ukipper and you are bringing your anti-immigrant, sovereignty, British bullshit into my hood and you ain't gonna learn my language then hell yeah I might just burn your house down but that's just me. I am a Ffrinj Nuttar! This has nothing to do with respectable (cough) politics. Let's get serious here, however much it hurts me! There will be no change to the Dinosaur Politics in Wales unless a 'centre left alternative' can fight Welsh Labour and the Conservatives. Nature abhors a vacuum and that has been filled by UKIP. There are people in Wales who would not vote Plaid Cymru if you threatened to remove their anal sphincter because of those two little words. Two little words in a language they dunt understand! Progressive Alliance are two English words and the British Welsh would be more comfortable with this compromise. There is a seat in West Wales up for grabs, Ceredigion in 2020 with its boundary changes could be a nice little earner for the Progressive Alliance, an alliance made up of Corbynistas, Socialists, Liberals, Plaid Cymru and the all important Greens. It is a farce, a crime and an insult to democracy that there isn't a single Green AM in the Welsh Assembly but there are 7 UKippers. You know what I feel about them. A Progressive Alliance that starts now in 2016 in target seats that can and will upset the Labour/ Conservative Monopoly in a country which is slowly sinking to become a county of England. Over by there, they think that a Progressive Alliance will split the Labour Left vote. We are talking about a Welsh Progressive Alliance that starts now, ready for 2020 and then the Assembly Elections again in 2021. Whaddyasay? Whaddyasay? 

Ffrinj Nuttars

"I am however utterly disgusted to see Neil Hamilton spewing his bile before anyone knew if Steven was going to be OK. He truly is a creature from the gutter. Tonight I am calling for the immediate suspension of the NEC. Elections need to be held for both a new leader of the party, as well as the NEC. People say that UKIP is split  down the middle between two camps. This is incorrect. The Tory troublemakers and fifth columnists represent a small minority in our party, yet they use any opportunity they can to undermine those working tirelessly to hold the government's feet to the flames. This ends today. If Neil Hamilton and Douglas Carswell remain in the party, and the NEC decide that Steven Woolfe can not run for leader, I will be leaving UKip"  

       UKip Backer Arron Banks

Well bois bach politics has never been so interesting and like Tony Blair I am thinking of making a comeback but which party can the Shark Fisherman of Wales join? I am a 'Ffrinj Nuttar' you see and no self respecting party would have me in their ranks. Every party has their 'Ffrinj Nuttars' and one of the Tory Party's in Wales is that well known 'Greasy Wop' Alun 'Bad Boy' Cairns. It is a good thing that I don't own a television because if I had watched Question Time last night, in the finest tradition of UKip, I would have smashed the telly up, thrown it out of the window, brought it back inside in pieces in a Co-op carrier bag, to throw it out again to make sure that the British Broadcasting Propaganda machine was not still bleeping. The part I thought was very telling was where Neil Hamilton is seen chuckling to himself. This particular 'Ffrinj Nuttar' had been trawling the TV studios yesterday telling everybody of the second hand account of the 'handbags at dawn' incident in the European Parliament at Strasbourg where Steven Woolfe's pride took a slam. He had been humiliated in some way and did the teddy out of the pram routine ensuring public sympathy for his bid for the Leadership. The reason that I am a 'Ffrinj Nuttar' is that I disagree with the fact that the Party of Wales have one Peer of the Realm within their ranks and that they have an anti-nuclear policy nationally but not on Ynys Mon where Wylfa B will bring jobs (to those from the outside) so I wouldn't be able to join them. I am an avowed Republican  and only the Green Party have a policy on this I believe. Tessa 'Blue Angel' May has made it quite clear that we on the Celtic Ffrinj are in TeamGB whether we like it or not. She's a bloody difficult woman aye! The only hope is Corbyn's Socialistas. If they can eliminate the 'Class System' in UK/GB then perhaps I could become a 'Ffrinj Nuttar' for them but I'm open to offers.  

    

UKIP: Y rhodd sydd yn parhau i rhoi!

UKIP: Y rhodd sydd yn parhau i roi! Fisticuffs a Misdimanners yn y Senedd Ewropeaidd yn Strasbwrg! Be ddiawl mae'r cnafon dal i wneud yn y lle? Nhw wnaeth arwain y frwydr i adael Ewrop ond maent eisiau cael ei thalu am hen raff'. Money for old rope mun! Ddim yn gytûn i gwympo mas rhwng ei gilydd yn y Senedd, maen nhw nawr yn chwifio dyrnau at ei gilydd yn Ewrop! 'British Hooligans running riot on the Continent again'. Mae hwn yn rhoi enw drwg i ni sef sir fwyaf Lloegr, Cymru, achos dyna beth i ni erbyn hyn. Mae'r British Welsh a mewnfudwyr dosbarth gweithiol wedi gwneud yn siŵr ein bod ni nawr yn rhan o Loegr. For England see Wales. Beth bynnag am y rhamant, mae realiti ein sefyllfa yn ddifrifol! Rydym fel Gelert ac yn lle amddifyn ein hiaith ac ein hetifeddiaeth fel gwnaeth o y tywysog bach, rydym yn gwerthu allan fesul bob diwrnod i'r gyfalafiaeth Dorïaidd. Mae Team GB ddim jest yn dod yma are ei gwyliau maen nhw yn byw mha erbyn hyn ac yn ei degau o filoedd ac mae'r Cymry bach taeog wedi bod yn codi ei chapiau ac yn deud "Yes Syr, No Syr" fel bod ei thafodau yn frownach na maes parcio Gŵyl Rhif 6. Mi ddreifiais heibio hwnna ar y bore Gwener roedden nhw yn arwain nhw i mewn fel defaid. Neb eisiau cymryd cyfrifoldeb wedyn a bob asiantaeth yn beio'r un nesaf. A dyna sut ydan ni yng Nghymru, aros am y digwyddiad mawr ac wedyn troi rownd a phwyntio bys. Erbyn hyn dydyn ddim yn gwybod pwy sydd yn 'Friend neu Foe'. Mae the Party of Wales wedi hollti yn ddau gan Genedlaetholwyr Diwylliannol a Chenedlaetholwyr Sosialaidd. Mae ofn allwn ni ddim dibynnu arnyn nhw am unrhyw arweiniad. Mae'n deud cyfrolau fod 'na Blaid o'r enw Llais Gwynedd yn gwrthwynebu nhw yn ei chadarnle. Tasa’r De ôl diwylliannol ddim yn tretio'r Gogledd gyda chymaint o ddirmyg a sarhad, a gwneud jôcs ar ben y Gogs druan efallai fasa na rhyw awyrgylch well ond mae'n rhaid cydnabod yn gyhoeddus fod y Cymry mor annhebyg i'w gilydd erbyn hyn na jôc ydy cael Plaid o'r enw Plaid Cymru. Tybed beth fasa Saunders, DJ a Valentine yn wneud o'r dandys Prydeinig piws yma yn dawnsio rhwng om ni fel pypedau'r Frenhines. Efallai fydd Sosialaeth Jeremy Corbyn yn cynnig atebion i anghenion pobol gyffredin Cymru ond eto fydd y rhai breintiedig yn ofni colli ei statws a phŵer ac mi fydda nhw yn pleidleisio yn amddiffynnol a melli yn Brydeinig. Does dim gobaith i ni os ydym dal yn rhedeg ar ôl yr un hen gynffonau. Mae'r Brit Nats yn gwneud hwyl ar ein pennau, yn enwedig ar ei Speed Boats yn Abersoch. Ydym ni fel ci dof am droi drosodd i gael ein bol wedi ei ticlo gan y Cwin a'r Prince of Wales neu ydan ni am ymladd nôl mewn pa bynnag ffordd a fydd angen?