Say Hello, Wave Goodbye

Shark Fishing in Wales is one of the longest 'Farewell Notes' in History. I have already bade farewell to Facebook and according to insider sources my account will be deleted in two weeks, not de-activated but deleted. I am still on Twitter but I'm treading water really. I am in the wrong place, spiritually and geographically. I need to take to the road again. I tried to escape my mind in 2000 by moving to London and then to Amsterdam in 2005. I didn't know what I was doing then  and self depreciatingly, I don't know whether I am any the wiser now. I am ten years wiser and I am still trying to escape into the outside world when escaping inside is an answer. Unfortunately I am mistaking escaping inside with withdrawing. I feel a curling up at the edges. Whether in Aberystwyth or Cardiff, I am feeling diminished.
I have to get some kind of work now to keep me out of libraries and off social media. £7.20 an hour has never been so appealing. I don't fancy being one of those meeter/greeters at B&Q which can happen to people of my age. Grey haired and pretending not to be grumpy. Finding employment now which is age appropriate, is now going to be a challenge, where I have spent the last decade trying to avoid work, making excuses that I have familial responsibilities, that would make it impossible to commit to a conventional 9-5. 
I don't want to work. I want to write and surf the net but these activities are frowned upon by those who worship religion and use tax havens for saving's purposes. I don't think I am hurting anybody but my perception rightly or wrongly is that I am hurting people by withdrawing my help and attention from them. The two 'things' that underpin existence 'boredom' and fear of death. The fear of annihilation underpins our lives which is why Paris & Brussels hit us so hard. Some are not afraid of death because their lives have become so miserable. They want a better life but are at a loss as to how to make this happen. The Philosopher Fisherman had hoped that by putting his thoughts down in Blog Form that this might assist him in deciding his next course of action because action is required and not more prevarication.