Les Incompétents
The copper with a disdain for crime
The chimney sweep who couldn't stand grime
The fireman who hated fire
The salesman who couldn't sell and had to hire.
Doing a job that doesn't suit you
is de rigueur these days.
The potter who hated lime
The watchmaker who never kept time
The undertaker who was scared of the dead
The artist whose work was like an unmade bed.
The postman who thought he was better
than every god damn parcel and letter
The career advisor who was forever unemployed,
the positions she advised were never enjoyed
usually missionary standing at a till.
The waiter and waitress who couldn't make out a bill.
The butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker were all hipsters
the artisan cheese maker was a chav on the make
he actually sold reptiles, his favourite, a snake
The lifeguard who couldn't swim
The fashion model who lived in a bin
The bin man who dreamt of the cat walk
The teacher who could not reach
out to the students who could not study
The banker who couldn't spell fraud
The junior doctor moving abroad
but the sappiest sap of all
was the writer
was the writer
the short-arse who thought he was tall
s/he had never heard of the word 'rejet'
they thought it French, therefore European
and that it didn't apply to them.
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