Soft Lad

I've always been a soft lad

and that is kinda bad.

I knew it was a problem

as soon as I turned nine,

because all me mates were doing it,

but I wouldn't turn to crime.

I was interested in Butterflies

Bats & Birds & Bees

And I didn't understand when I was told

"Get down on your knees"

A hard lad had heard I was a soft lad

and said "Tsk, Tsk, this will not do"

So he told me to do a Jesus

and stand up straight and tall.

And after he kicked me in the nuts

he crucified me to the wall.

He didn't have any 2x4

so breeze block bricks would do.

He got some of his fathers' nails

and started banging through.

Now I know I was a soft lad cos

I didn't die for anyone's sin.

I just cried and cried and cried

but hard lad wouldn't give in.

He had a passion in his eyes that only a hard lad could attain

I kept shouting "Stop, please Stop" but he just would not refrain.

This hard lad was a zealot for cruelty and pain,

but this soft lad up upon the wall was hardening to the game.

I spat in his face and laughed out loud

and like the Incredible Hulk,

I managed to extricate myself

from his hammer and his bulk.

I was no longer soft lad,

a hard lad I had become.

I started eating Butterflies

 when they landed on my tongue.

To be a soft lad is not a thing

anyone should aspire.

It was only a job for Jesus

and his heavenly choir.

Copyright David Williams @March 18th 2014