I would like to begin this year's Birthday message by thanking the Shark Fisherman of Wales for hosting my real thoughts and feelings about this disunited kingdom of mine. I realise that I have been a drain on Tax Payers' money since 1951 but I didn't have much choice. I was born into this bullshit. You see if I'd had my way, I'd have given it up years ago. I don't think you quite realise the strain. I am just a mother and a sister and a daughter. When the Shark Fisherman contacted me and asked whether I wanted to say what I really felt I thought "What the Hell"! Phillip is being kept alive by the use of cryogenics and I'm doing my level best to keep Charles off the throne. I was delighted to become a Great Grand Mama with the birth of baby Roger. I don't know where they've got this name George from!
It has been another 'anus horribilis' especially for the Royal Portrait Painter 'Sir Rolf'. We don't half pick em eh! If I was to be completely honest with you about this shower of shite aka the Conservative Government, well I'd be here till next Christmas! If I had my way, Dunc the spunk, Gideon, Cam and Clegg would be in the Tower of London. Absolute arseholes! you see it is they and their cruel and austere policies regarding the poorest in society that are causing the ideal conditions for a Republic and Monarchy free United Kingdom. I know that the peasantry have had enough. I'm looking to retire soon. I would hope for a 'bloodless' revolution when it comes. I could meet you at the back door of Buck House with the key if you could promise us an amnesty and free flights to Mystique. Our days as the Windsors are numbered I'm afraid. With Scotland becoming independent in 2014, we'll no longer have the summer house in Balmoral and I don't know whether my heart is in it really. Well I'll leave you now to go and prepare the annual bullshit broadcast but you know how I really feel. If you were serious about a Republic, then you need to pull your collective fingers out before Charles sticks his royal derriere upon the throne and then 'God Help Us All'.
Elizabeth Regina 2016 (MXCMILXVVV£$)
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