Empath or Bipolar?

Some of the Shark Fisherman's blog post readers or confidantes as I prefer to call you might have noticed that my most recent offerings have been reaching towards the esoteric realms, the spiritual.  I am constantly looking for answers and because I am somewhat 'hermitically sealed' I have no way of knowing whether these are universal questions. The medical model refers to my experiences of 2005 as a Psychosis. I prefer to refer to it as my Shamanic Trance Journey. For about a month I experienced an alternative reality which was at the same time exhilarating and frightening but ultimately better than the day to day reality that I experienced up until that point and anything that I have experienced since. I shed skins, I became re-born. I am the same person visually but internally there have been shifts of consciousness. What I have to do now is decide what to do with this shift in consciousness? It doesn't pay the bills and I don't really want it to, but convention and conditioning suggest that we should work for a living. Creating the work that is your passion whilst assisting and empowering others and making a few sheckles on the side.

But what to do? What to do?

(Answers on a Postcard from either Porthcawl or Llandudno please)

Six years since the medical model diagnosis have elapsed but I just cannot deny the Spiritual, faith based aspect to the experience which included purchasing a toy plastic microphone and attempting from memory to recite the Reverend Martin Luther King's speeches on a corner, opposite a church in Utrecht, the Netherlands. Playing Mahalia Jackson's 'We shall Overcome' at huge decibel level through the open window of a hotel room in the same city. Reading the Koran, the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying and the Bible to try and make sense of the Bombings in London on 7th July 2005.  So many questions and no answers and what worries me is that if I sign on the dotted line again for a conventional life with all its glory, the shopping, the 2.4 children, the car on the drive, just as I do so, the answer will present itself to me but which will probably be poo-pooed by the medical model as a delusion or hallucination. The Shamanic Trance journey continues in rather impoverished Cardiff surroundings but I'll cheer myself up with some Talking Heads.

Thanks for reading.