The Staff of Life

I am an endomorph of the Ronnie Barker variety from the Class sketch above. At the moment I weigh in at 15 stone and at 5 foot seven and a half inches in my socks, this means that I am 3 and a half stone over my ideal weight of 11 and a half stone. If you want that converted to kilograms please ring the speaking clock. I am obese. The shark fisherman is of a certain age and vintage which means that weight loss needs to take on an urgency if I am to extend my up till now quality lifespan of 16 years unemployed. I need to lose weight to get in shape for Universal Job Search which I know with tens of thousands more unemployed by Christmas I need to be trim to get to the front at interview. I want the HR department to ignore my straining girth, graying goatee and thousand yard stare. I want them to see the man I could be rather than the man I am.

My relationship with food is awkward.I don't enjoy meal times. They are a survival function. I don't plan my meals. I don't think about food. Maybe that is why I am 3 and a half stone overweight. If I am to lose weight I need to eat less starch and sugar. When you consider that the sugar industry is worth $97 BILLION and the wheat industry a further $17 BILLION you know who this little fat boy is up against. At the moment I am consciously considering my relationship with bread. If you are to kick any addiction, it has to begin in the mind. You have to turn against the thing that you are addicted to. You have to politicize it. You have to realise that thin, tall people are making money from your misfortune. You have to learn to hate bread like you learnt to hate cigarettes, alcohol and psychotropic medication. There can be no lukewarm feelings towards the substance you are addicted to. They are comforters. Emotional comforters that we have learnt to rely upon. We weren't born with a cigarette in our mouths nor a loaf of bread, nor a bottle of gin or a packet of pills. We have been conditioned and groomed to rely on these substances as children and young adults and these habits often accompany us into later life until we wise up. 

So this is my 'Wise Up' blog. I am not making any promises or deadlines on this one. The reason being is that I am still in the same environment that has contributed to my obesity. If an alcoholic is to kick his/her addiction on release from prison they have to change their living environment and their so called friends, the enablers. They move to another end of the country and start afresh with the 12 Step Programme and Alcoholics Anonymous. The last time I checked in Yellow pages,which is a lot thinner these days than the fat bastard that would land on our doorsteps of yesteryear, there is no 'Bread Addicts Anonymous'. The bible has led us to believe that it is the staff of life and that we must take it daily but when Jesus was walking the earth, there was no such thing as genetically modified wheat. Here is a video I came across in my research and I will keep you posted as to the ongoing battle with this particular addiction.