Why do blokes with birds look like c*nts?

I don't know if you've noticed but blokes with birds

look like c*nts.

Now I'm not saying we're perfect cos a few of us singletons

are right little runts.

I was on the escalator with my basket

behind a couple with trolley and by golly

did he give her a smirk stopping pedestrian traffic.

I've got the heart of a hippy but not the head

not enough hair to tie into dread

this one was out to extinguish a rebellion.

It's the law of the jungle out there in shoppers' land

if you're not in a couple

you stick out like a one man band.

I don't know what it was

whether the ugly bug ball had given him a call

but this new age traveler was having it all

at my expense.

His bird were in cahoots

"We're not birds" she hoots

"Well get out of the fucking way then,

I need to get back to my roots"

But budge they did not

They just looked at each other

I thought you are one smug bugger

If he'd been in a car, I'd have given him a shunt

but then I'd have been the c*nt

giving him the bird.