"Adults control battling robots Red Rocker and Blue Bomber with fast thumb action and try to deliver the blockbuster punch that will knock his block off! Battle it out in the arena, with realistic sounds and jaw-jolting action. Land a punch and don't lose your head to be declared victorious!"
Ladies & Gentlemen, Welcome to the Christmas General Election 2019 where the gloves are well and truly off. In the Red Corner, the Red Rocker, Jeremy Bernard Corbyn. In the Blue Corner, Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson. The Referee for this 'Bout from Hell' this 'Rumble in the Allotment Jungle' is Joanne Kate Swinson. In Corbyn's Red Corner also is Nicola Ferguson Sturgeon, "Ooops I'm very sorry, she has just jumped down from the ring to some rather unedifying heckling from this cauldron of an auditorium also known to some snowflakes as the United Kingdom." It's the 14th November and we have another 28 days of this trench warfare. Electioneering by Social Media. This one is so close to call on the back of the last one in 2017 that even Beryl from Bristol is refusing to take odds on a Hung Parliament. The people of Yorkshire are oop to their knees in Flood Water and you would have thought that this being the 'Climate Emergency Election', that people would be voting in their droves for Caroline Patricia Lucas in the Green corner, but they are not and they wont. Traditional as the puddings from the county under water the electorate will be voting on Brexit.
Ne'er mind the knife crime, the county lines, the A & E waiting times, this General Election is about immigration and freedom of movement also known as Brexit. The pantomime baddie Nigel Paul Farage in the light blue corner is twirling his moustache and whipping up the puddings into a lather of gravy and gammon. Only 13 days(UNLUCKY FOR ALL:BRING OUT YOUR DEAD) after the General Election we have that quaint tradition from the Middle East called Christmas where all the puddings will be stuffing their faces with gammon and gravy and masturbating to the Queen's Speech and the John Lewis advert. The big question is who will be on top of that Christmas tree cum Jesus Christ's Birthday?
Will it be Corbyn or Johnson? Will it be the King Makers & Ball Breakers Sturgeon & Swinson or will it be Adam (no middle name) Price who will be on top of the tree over by there shouting "What about the Welsh?"
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