Populist Poet

Turn up every morning in flowing robes and spin a few odes for the gathering crowds.

Populist Poet

It turns out that I am a populist poet
not popular because nobody has ever heard of me,
but like these politicians apparently
they go after the largest block vote
It's about having the biggest following.
I could become a cult poet, yes with an L, no you're not going deaf.
The Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, the Osho of Poets.
that would be good, I'd like that.
Turn up every morning in flowing robes and spin a few odes for the gathering crowds.
Go on chat shows and have my bottom licked by Piers Morgan
and maybe I could return the favour to somebody else's organ.
Get voted into the Welsh Assembly as the Leader of the Poetry Party
Hang on Tonto that didn't rhyme!
You're a populist all right, you're committing crime (in broad daylight)
What about all these poor poets who take their work seriously,
you know the ones who can actually write,
when they see me coming, they flee into the night.
I will charge by the word and claim strict metre on expenses.
I will flaunt my wealth
I will turn up to the Senedd in a Rolls Royce and on the CD I'd be playing Max Boyce.

I will turn up to the Senedd in a Rolls Royce and on the Cd I'd be playing Max Boyce.

I'd be wearing so much bling, the accountants they would sing,
give this cult (poet) with an L, the First Minister's Ring.
Carwyn with head bowed leaves for Bridgend a broken FM and instead of the usual suspects,
the Speaker offers me some biscuits and I'm up there giving it large.
After an afternoon's sail round the Bay in a barge I give out the orders to the others.
Dafydd El and his huge tongue is given lavatory duty.
Labour's Terracotta Soldiers are run ragged round Mermaid Quay.
UKIP are disappeared, concrete slippers and fish in the knickers.
This Populist Poet begins a riot.
The Homeless from the back of Debenhams are allowed to stay scot free,
they have the run of the Senedd and are made tea
by Tory assembly members who don't know whether they are coming or going under the FM with the skeleton head cane.
No British Royalty is allowed anywhere near.
Mrs Windsor I fear is not very dear.
Every AM is paid the average wage of Wales namely £19,000 and the £48,000 saved per member goes into teaching poetry.
The Poetry Programme will be broadcast every day out across the Bay.

The Poetry Programme will be broadcast every day out across the Bay.

North Korea will envy the totalitarian state run by PP.
This will be Poetry for the People by the People.
Unfortunately for this Populist Poet he began to believe, like Welsh Labour that he was untouchable and didn't realise that anti-bad poetry sentiment was spreading throughout the land.
So with the next election, Populist Poet was thrown out
but not before the erection of a golden statue, summat with a bit of bite,
a life like representation of flies around shite 💩
The Prose Party had won a landslide, it was time for short stories and novellas to be heard
but all was not lost for populist poet, he got a job penning odes in a Christmas Cracker Factory.
Before disappearing into anonymity
he turned to the press and gave them the bird
and announced in pidgin Wenglish "Fe Godwn Ni Eto"