Going Dark

There is a theatrical term called 'Going Dark' either meaning that the auditorium is plunged into darkness prior to a bit of action or that the theatre itself, usually provincial, is closing down for a period of time, possibly permanently. You might have noticed that I am interested in the goings on of the Islamic State, possibly because the attack on 07/7/2005 sent me 'doollally tap mun' (insane). I over reacted to this atrocity, possibly because I was abroad at the time or because cannabis was coursing through my veins. In the wake of Friday's attacks, as an interested third party layperson with his own blog, I would like to make a suggestion. I would like to suggest that we as a society 'Go Dark'. We shut down our incessant, economic, corporate machine and we tone down the decadence. I would even echo Cromwell and cancel Christmas this year. This symbolic gesture will show to all and sundry that we are taking their 'terrorism' seriously. Not fight or flight but rather curl up in a ball. I've never been a fan of 'Carry on Regardless' something that we (Jung's Collective Unconscious) have been doing since 9/11. There is an awful lot of anger and grief underneath the surface. There was a line of Psychological thought in 1997 that said that the hundreds and thousands grieving publicly for Lady Diana were not actually grieving for her but grieving for themselves and for the pain that they had experienced in their own lives. Diana was symbolic. We (The collective unconscious) have not grieved since 9/11, instead we have carried on regardless. The seed of discord was planted heavily in America on this date and the explosion of anger in rioting, police killings can all be directly linked back to this visual trauma. The pain has always been there since slavery, 9/11 cut the vein and allowed the nation to bleed. It has been bleeding ever since. The Tunisian on Friday was 23, The Charleston shooter was 21, this would make them 9 and 7 when 9/11 happened. A generation of children watched those planes going into the twin towers and those children were traumatized then and there and that trauma is coming out now. We (the collective unconscious) need to stop. We need to curl up in a ball and nurture ourselves instead of running headlong into the next shooting, beheading. Selfish societies lead to selfish acts. Of course, none of the above can be substantiated, none of it is scientific but it is intuitive. These as usual are the ramblings of a mad man, a mad man who has decided since 2005 to curl up in a ball.

   

Library Rant

There should be a Public Inquiry into Cardiff Central Library. Five Floors of wonder and the roof falls in and they are now scaling it down by stealth. The one previous, which was also fairly new when it was demolished for development gave way to one which was like a huge portakabin but with pictures of books down the side. This had more of a community feel to it. The librarians came across as more human somehow because they were on the same level as you. Now I owe a great debt to Cardiff Central Library. I have spent many hours in there on the computers and reading. I have discovered much to expand my brain but I was never convinced that it was a very happy place to work or that the people running it had a clue really. It just existed. Because I am back and fore to West Wales I am not in there as much but the last time was the straw that broke the camel's back. I needed to access a computer and the first three floors were being redeveloped. I just turned on my heels.  Grangetown is being developed, Grangetown library is being developed into something called a 'HUB'. Hub appears to be the 'Buzzword' for the new, vibrant development. I think I am just getting old. There have been protests which at first appeared successful but this Council will do what it wants to do regardless of public feeling. I am not advocating a return to the sanctimonious silence of yesterday but the 'shushing' 
librarian has to be an improvement on this soulless, dumbing down.
We don't want a 'F*****G HUB' We want a Library with character and with soul and one you're not going to tamper with for another ten years minimum. Yer a bunch of 'F*****G SHARKS!

You can read some more of my library referenced blog posts here.

http://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/toxic-kairdiff.html

http://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/doors.html

http://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/gorgeous-librarians.html

http://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/spiritual-desert.html

Poetry is Cool

http://www.lulu.com/shop/david-williams/another-place/paperback/product-22189830.html

What use is a Poet

who doesn't say

'Shit' or 'Wank' or 'Piss' ?

What use is Poetry 

that doesn't shake the foundations of authority

but revels in linguistic superiority?

What are you writing about that pot plant for or a

 Haiku about the cat's whiskers?

Don't you realise that there are stereotypes and cultural

signposts to graffiti over?

Let's get outside the food banks and proselytize 

in the stairwell of Job Centre Plus

Let us write love poetry in our own excrement as they 

take us away to the cells.  

I wouldn't know a rhyme if it insisted on keeping time.

Dem are just rules dat de teacher told you!

 Damn Fool!

"Mi know mi fren,

Poetry is Cool"

Psychotherapy in the Welsh Language

Those of you who have been picking over the entrails of this blog will not be surprised to hear that I am thinking of becoming a Psychotherapist. Wasting more money on training and for a qualification  which I will probably get 5 years use of before retirement. At age 21 I received treatment from a Psychiatrist and Psychologist through the medium of Welsh. Lucky me, I hear you cry! My treatment as well as my education was paid for privately. The only snag was that I only had a 7 year old's Welsh so the terms went over my head. I understood the diagnosis: "Extremely Sensitive". 18 years and a prison sentence later I receive the diagnosis 'Bipolar Disorder'. I know which diagnosis and which language I prefer. I wonder if I could get crowd-funded to becoming a Psychotherapist in the Welsh Language. There's going to be a need of them if the census figures carry on with their downward trend. Talking therapy for people faced with losing their 'enaid' their 'soul'. I believe that in the years to come, we will be facing a Mental Health epidemic, in fact it has begun. Carl Jung's collective unconscious is at play here. What happens to one, happens to all! If you haven't heard it already, here is me, yewers truly talking in a strange mongrel accent on a BBC phone in programme about Mental Health this week. I come in at 30.45.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b05xd88j   

Diolch am wrando/Thank you for listening

Eistedd yn yr Ardd/Sitting in the Garden

Bore yma, eisteddais ar y fainc yn yr ardd gyda fy mam wrth fy ymyl. Roeddwn mewn anhwylder braidd, ddim yn siŵr os i adael i fynd nôl i Gaerdydd am benwythnos. Mi ddywedais fy mod yn ffeindio gadael nhw yn anoddach a bod y sefyllfa bresennol yn achosi pryder i mi sef ei chyflwr iechyd. Mi aeth y sgwrs ymlaen a wedodd Mam "Dydy neb yn mynd ymlaen am byth" a gofynnais  "Ydy hwnna yn beth da?" "Wrth gwrs" ymatebodd, "rydym eisiau gwneud lle i rai sydd yn dod ar ein holau" "Ond beth os dydy'r rheina ddim mor neis â chi?" Hwnna oedd fy llinyn mesur i! A fydd y rhai sydd yn dod ar ein holau yn neis, yn garedig ac yn gariadus? Dwi yn ddyn lwcus iawn . Dwi yn ddyn canol oed ac mae fy rhieni dal yn fyw. Yn hen ond yn fyw. Ond bob dydd dwi yn meddwl am y diwedd! Yr angladdau, y teimladau, y galaru a dwi mor bryderus. Y peth anoddaf i mi ydy gwneud cynlluniau! Un dydd ar y tro fel canodd Trebor Edwards ond wedyn chi'n ffeindio allan fod y dyddiau yn rhedeg allan.  

This morning I sat on the bench in the garden with my mother. I wasn't in the best frame of mind because I was undecided about returning to Cardiff for the weekend. I am finding it harder and harder leaving my parents alone now because of their ages and their general frailty. The conversation went on and my mother said "Nobody goes on Forever" and I asked "Is that a good thing?" 
"Well of course was her reply, we need to make room for those who come after us". "What if those are not as nice as you?"  That was my measuring stick, what if those that follow are not as nice, as kind and loving? I am a lucky man, I am a middle aged man and my parents are still alive, elderly but very much alive. Every day however, I think about the end. I think about the funerals, the feelings and the grieving. This limbo land is making it very difficult for me to make any plans and I feel very selfish for saying this. As Trebor Edwards sings 'One Day at a Time' but then you find that the days are running out.

My Old Man is an Arsenal Fan

FINAL WORD

John is ninety six and a half and a farmer's son from North Wales. He started supporting Arsenal in 1927 and was a regular at Highbury from 1947-1954 when he lived in London.

I'm going to take you back to 1927 as the date that I started supporting the Arsenal. I was 9 years of age.  As keen Gooners will know, there were two Welshmen in the side that lost to Cardiff City in the FA Cup Final of that year. Bob John and the unfortunate Dan Lewis in Goal. Whether I felt sorry for Dan I can't remember but I do remember that this was the start of my love affair with the club whose fortunes I have followed for nearly nine decades. From Herbert Chapman's side of then to now.
For seven years,from 1947 - 1954 I lived in Crouch End and Tufnell Park and worked in the offices of the National Provincial Bank in Tottenham Court Road and a gang of us would assemble at Highbury of a Saturday to cheer on the Gunners. From a distant yearning as a Farmer's son in North Wales to the Blitzed remains of Post War London, Arsenal provided the colour in our lives.  My favourite players from the 1947 season were Joe Mercer and Wally Barnes at the back and there was a Welshman again playing his one and only season, a forward called Brynmor Jones. In the 1950/51 season there were three Welshmen in the side, the great Jack Kelsey in goal, William Daniel defending and David Bowen in Midfield. In 1953 another Welshman Derek Tapscott was in attack who left to join Cardiff City in 1958. 
I had to return to Wales myself for work in 1954 but those 7 magical years from 1947 - 1954 will remain with me.

I have mentioned many of the Welsh players because one of the greatest players that Arsenal have ever had is another former Cardiff lad Aaron Ramsey. He will be in the Yellow and Blue away kit when he steps out at Wembley on May 30th. Cardiff City Colours? Another omen perhaps. A dream I would have would be to see Gareth Bale and Aaron Ramsey both playing in Arsenal colours. How that would go down with the faithful I'm not sure but they are turning it on for Wales and manager Chris Coleman at the moment. I have been to Wembley once but never been to the Emirates Stadium. Highbury will always be my ground. I have followed Arsenal's fortunes and did get back on occasion to Highbury, one game against Coventry City and another against Newcastle United. One thing I always enjoyed was the dry humour and droll comments from the stands, commenting on one player I heard someone behind me shout " look at so and so (player) he's having a right old kip ". Can't have been an Arsenal player, must have been a member of the opposition. Well, my fellow Gooners, I really wish I could be with you today at the Emirates and at Wembley on May 30th but I will be shouting and cheering with you and please don't forget Arsenal's Welsh Connections.

Up the Arsenal \0/