enjoyment
ɪnˈʤɔɪmənt/
noun
noun: enjoyment
- 1.the state or process of taking pleasure in something."the enjoyment of a good wine"
synonyms: pleasure, entertainment, amusement, diversion, recreation, relaxation; More
antonyms: displeasure - a thing that gives pleasure.plural noun: enjoyments"one of his particular enjoyments was campfire singing"
- 2.the action of possessing and benefiting from something.
synonyms: benefit, advantage, use, possession, ownership, blessing, favour, exercise, endowment, availability More
"the enjoyment of one's rights"
A Saturday morning conversation with my dear neighbour has identified something that I've known intuitively for a long time and that is 'I don't know how to enjoy myself'. He identifies that people from a Welsh Non-Conformist background tend to have this inability to enjoy life and when they do it manifests as hypocrisy because they are doing something which they feel is not right or not proper. He said that the Irish know how to enjoy themselves but generally the Welsh don't. I questioned this in respect to original sin and the 'mea culpa'
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mea_culpa
of the Catholic faith and he said that when they came to Cardiff and Liverpool, they were released from that.! Physically yes but emotionally and mentally I wonder.As I use this blog post as a form of catharsis, forgive me if I continue to investigate this further. I think if I can remember the last time that I 'enjoyed myself' apart from masturbation was in 2005 when I was released from conformity and regimentation and I over indulged on cannabis and ended up in prison. I'm wondering now whether the guilt I was experiencing whilst smoking did not allow for full enjoyment and whether I was actually creating tension in my mind and body. Many people smoke to relax! The relaxant properties soon wore off for me and I realised that my mental state was heightened by its use. This goes for alcohol as well. If I went out discontented I would return angry. Mellowness begets mellowness. I am not relaxed and I am not mellow.I perceive 'enjoyment' to be a selfish pastime. It must be the repressed communist inside me which says if everyone is not enjoying themselves, then it isn't enjoyment. I was never in the kitchen at parties because I never went to parties. If I know that there is a drinks gathering I will find a way to avoid it because I don't want to make small talk with a soft drink in my hand, I want to make big talk with a treble Jack Daniels in my hand but I will not allow myself to 'enjoy myself' because there always appears to be a payback with enjoyment.My neighbour is 76 and he knows how to enjoy himself. He has hobbies, he dances and he will go to public houses. I cannot seem to derive enjoyment from things other people seem to derive enjoyment from. Most normal people would seek fun and fresh air, an amusement park perhaps, I go and look for Wigan Pier. As mentioned in a previous post, the two great oppressions of my youth and adolescence were school and chapel. I didn't want to go to either but I had to therefore as an adult I distrust formal education and formal religion. It leaves an emotional scar well into adult life. I used to drink and smoke because I thought that these substances would allow me to enjoy myself but they didn't. They just heightened the tension inside me.I'm wondering whether this is why I have such an aversion to Christmas and the New Year because they are packaged as holidays where everyone will enjoy themselves but I now know that not everyone enjoys puritanical dourness like I do, so why should they all enjoy the end and beginning of year festivities. We are all different! The Roman Empire knew that to placate the populace, bread & circus was the order of the day. Whilst I enjoy football and supporting my tribal team I am aware that I am playing the game of the Metropolitan Elite and being distracted by the important thing in life which is the way this country and the world is being run.Manchester is a wonderful City but I escaped from it yesterday. I ran to Piccadilly Station through all the Christmas Shoppers passing the statue of Queen Victoria. It was her Albert that introduced the tradition of Christmas Cards and Trees. This time of year is a huge distraction to people. Another two weeks when the populace won't engage in REVOLUTION, spiritual or otherwise. Then its back to work so we cannot then plan for a Spiritual Uprising in this country because we are too busy looking after the nuclear family. The 2.4 children is the stumbling block to community progress. Easter Cards and Bunnies. Long Summer Holidays. Got to keep the kids entertained and amused or our lives will be made hell. All this is Manna from Heaven for the 'Uppercrust' to borrow my neighbour's phrase. We are too busy doing things that will gratify ourselves and our families in the short term rather than thinking longer term about the sustainability of communities. Not enough people are actually talking face to face about the things that matter. We are super skilled at doing it through social media but that's another thing that can be controlled by our Feudal Barons. Perhaps people are pissed off by other people who say "Well you can't do anything about it!" So they keep their opinions to themselves. So this vast impotence sweeps the feudal land and our students are the only ones who are left to person the barricades but then they are swayed by the words of the Dean and Vice Chancellor "What will this do to your future?" We have no future if we carry on like this or at least a very impoverished one. What happens that one Christmas in the future when there is nothing in the shops?
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