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The fact is, the poet does not want admiration, he wants to be believed.
— Jean Cocteau Quotes (@CocteauQuotes) September 21, 2020
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Now as an Anti-Monarchist (with a picture of Queen Elizabeth II at home on the wall because she sent it in a birthday card to my father on his 100th Birthday), you might think it strange that I am writing about Prince Harry, the true heir apparent to the English throne. Prince Harry is in exile as was Charles Edward Louis John Sylvester Maria Casimir Stuart. Both are young pretenders to the English throne. Bonnie Prince Charlie should have become Charles III and not Prince Harry's father.
As disinterested as you probably are, the question I have for you is this.
Should Prince Harry and his wife Megan arrive by boat on the West Coast of Scotland would you show your colours for the 'not so young' Chevalier or would you be standing in the ranks of Prince William of Wales' army under Major General Jeremy Clarkson?
We know that at every General Election we are required to vote for the lesser of the two evils, Conservative or Labour. We know that as subjects of the 'British Realm' we have to put up and shut up with their royal pish at our collective expense. Well I am asking you, whether you are Monarchist or Republican, if the choice was between Prince William and Prince Harry, which one would you choose for your King?
The likelihood is that Harry would be a much more 'down with the people' kind of monarch whereas we know that William has procreated like a Prince on a promise and that promise being to carry on with the status quo of unelected monarchy for generations to come.
As Republican as I am I just do not see the Windsors (nee Saxe-Coburg unt Gothas) handing over the keys to their many palaces without a fight. Would you lay down your life for a British Republic? Thought not. Ok! Are you as prepared to kick up as much of a stink about our unelected Monarchy as you are about the 20mph zones and ULEZ? No? thought not. You mean you would rather kick a Just Stop Oil protestor in the bollocks than you would stopping 'The Firm' creaming off more funds into the Royal coffers? Yes, I thought this is who I was dealing with.
In that case there's no hope for any of us. Not even for those in late at night transatlantic telephone calls urging 'The House of Spare' to return to claim a right to a commoner's throne, through an interracial marriage, to honour his dear old mum, Our Diana. No we will just have to give up without a fight and accept our fate and buy a copy of the Big Issue from the new seller on the block.
You can call me the
Red under your Bed
A frisson of hope
coursed through my veins today
when I heard that
Russia had entered our airspace.
I had a premonition
in Amsterdam about the Soviet Union and Iran
I sensed that they
would be the new world order
and that we would be toast
We being the West who
love to drop bombs on innocents
and wage war by proxy
the proper coward’s
way.
The Ruling Elite in
Britain
could do with a
Bolshevik Revolution
to give them a ‘braw’
which is shock in
Welsh
but we await with a
sense of awe.
Shock and Awe.
Will Putin march his
men down to the Cenotaph?
Will he occupy Buckingham
Palace and put an oligarch in charge?
Will he liberate all
the migrants from that shitty old barge?
Will he send Suella
to Rwanda and send Rishi off in a small boat?
Or will he continue
to bomb Ukraine the silly old goat?
He needs to invade
Britain and give us a kick up the arse
We’ve become bitter
and hostile since Brexit
We need a Communist light
exit
You can call me the
Red under your bed.
I'm in the library reading the poems of others
and what strikes me is how lonely they appear!
Children need to scream in the summer holidays in
supermarkets and in bookshops and on the buses.
And like them I believe that poems should shout
and not lie limply upon a page like a cut flower past its sell by date.
I'm working out how best to deal with rats.
They are in my loft 🐀
I hear them scurrying up and down the wall outside.
We live in parallel universes, the rats and the poet
and even though I do not earn from this most bizarre of pasttimes
I still eat.
I don't want to poison them because I can hear their babies squeal
They are probably thinking "that human's a nuisance.
trying to write poetry that is beneath us (literally)
We should get on to pest control"
Pest Poet Control
Pest Poet Patrol
So Ekaterina Netchitailova welcome to Shark Fishing in Wales as Guest Author and thank you for agreeing to answer my questions.
Can I check is it Netchitailova or
Petrovna?
This is a very good question,
and the answer is quite long, reflecting my family name, which is
Netchitailova. It means 'unreadable' in Russian, which is a pity as one of my
greatest passions in life is writing! Petrovna is a patronym. We all have it,
back in Russia. It reflects the name of your father. My dad's first name is
Petr, and therefore, I am Petrovna. If I lived in Russia, I would be called
Ekaterina Petrovna by people who don't know me well, or in official settings.
Here, everyone calls me just Ekaterina, but you can also call me Katia. It's
another thing in Russia, - the first names have their own variations. Svetlana
becomes Sveta, Aleksandra is Sasha, Daria is Dasha, and Ekaterina is Katia.
I understand that it's all a
bit confusing, but that's what different cultures and traditions are for - to
know something interesting. I think that knowledge of different cultures and
national habits enriches our lives!
When did you
first begin writing and in what language?
I started to write at the age
of fourteen, and in Russian. I lived in Moscow then and reading was my greatest
pleasure in life. I tried to write, and even won a third place at one of the
writing competitions at my school, but didn't pursue this hobby until the age
of twenty-seven, right after my experience with a psychosis. Writing helped me
to recover and make sense of what was happening to me on a spiritual level.
Since then I can't stop writing. It became a passion. I also write in English,
which might appear as weird, but I love the English language and often think in
English.
Who were your
main writing influences?
My main writing influence is
Master and Margarita by Bulgakov. The book tells two parallel stories. In
one story Bulgakov tells about the devil visiting the Soviet Union, and in his
second story, he tells the reader about Jesus. I read the book for the first
time when I was twelve, which is a bit early for such a profound and deep
novel, but I fell in love with it at once. I couldn't stop laughing from the
second page, and I remember thinking back then: 'wow, this is the best book
ever'. Bulgakov had an incredible ability to combine humour with magic, and
serious discussion of the meaning of life, and our existence. I wish I could
write something like this!
Are you a big
reader?
Yes, when I have time. I read
everyday, even if it's for five minutes. I have a busy life: my work, raising
my son, writing when I can find time, improving my Dutch language skills. In
the past, before the birth of my son, I could spend an entire day reading. It
helped me to escape to a better world.
Who are your
favourite authors and why are they your favourite authors.
So many! Well, I already
mentioned Bulgakov. I love his writings because he had incredibly unusual
stories. The devil visiting the Soviet Union - how cool is that?!
I also love short stories of
Chekov. He had a subtle way to laugh about the grotesque occurrences:
bureaucracy, corruption, judgemental way of looking at others.
In poetry I admire Anna
Achmatova and her gentle way of writing.
I also like Paulo Coelho, as
his books appeal to me on a spiritual level. I am a big fan of Kate Atkinson,
and especially 'Life after Life'. I love the Belgian writer Amelie Nothomb, and
read her in French. I like also a good crime story, and I don't really have a
favorite genre - I just love well-written books. Nikki French, Sophie Hannah
and many others help me to relax and enjoy reading.
You are a blogger
like myself. Tell us about your blogging history.
Well. I have been a blogger
for a long time, but a blogger with stupid history. I first launched one blog
and once it became more or less popular, I deleted it. I did it to two other
blogs to mine. I suffer from imposter syndrome. Who am I really, writing in
English that isn't even my native language? But with age and acquiring maturity
I decided to stick to my writing. First of all, I really love writing, and
secondly, I do have a story to tell. With my experience of psychoses maybe I
can connect with a few isolated hearts, and appeal to them. But I also write
about different countries where I lived, and about life in general.
Now you also like
me, are a self published author! Can you tell us why you went down the self
publishing route.
My dream is to publish with a
traditional big publisher one day. But I decided to publish my story 'Elena: A
Love Story for Humankind', because I didn't have the energy to look for an
agent. The book was written with such a speed (two months) and flow that I
couldn't wait to share it with others, but if a traditional publisher
approaches me, I will be the happiest person on earth.
You are a
multilingual author. How many languages do you speak?
I speak four languages.
Russian, French, English and Dutch. That's because I lived in four different
countries (in two of them twice). I love languages and discovering different
cultures.
Why did you
decide to write in English?
I love the English language.
It's the language that many people speak around the globe and I like the idea
that people from different countries can easily read what I have to say.
Could you tell us
about your first book please and how it came about?
My first book (unpublished) is
a memoir. It's a memoir about my psychoses, about Russia and living in the
West. It's a work of many years, changing along with my perception of what was
happening to me.
Do you have any
writing tips for aspiring authors? What has worked for you in the past?
I am an aspiring author
myself! But the tip I would give any writer is that it's the process that
matters, more than the outcome. Writing heals, writing boots creativity and
imagination. The sweet moments when one is 'in the flow' is a gift from the
universe. It's good, of course, to get a publishing deal at the end, but it's
the journey that really matters. For me, writing is relaxation for my brain. I
literally feel it unwinding. Therefore, my advice is: enjoy it.
Do you have a
strict writing discipline or do you wait for inspiration to strike?
I try to write everyday when I
am on holidays, and on weekends when I am working. So, yes, I have a writing
discipline, but not that strict.
What have you
learnt about the nuts and bolts of self publishing? Cover Design, Editing,
Readership and Marketing.
Well, one sure thing is that
you need some budget for marketing! How, otherwise, can you reach your
audience? It's very hard to grow organically nowadays (without promotion),
because of the saturation of online social networks. Therefore the only way to
get your book out where is to have some money to promote it.
However, based on my own experience, I think that being published by a
traditional publisher is still the best way for an aspiring author. They have
expertise, readership, and design teams.
Tell us about
your work in progress, namely 'The Russian Patient'. Isn't this the title of
one of your blogs?
It was, but I renamed my blog
into Porcupines Wisdom, as it's my writing that I find important and not where
I come from. But there is a book, called The Russian Patient, which is a
memoir.
Without giving
too much away 'What can you tell us about your Work in Progress?"
So, I have The Russian Patient
(memoir, which is unpublished), Elena: A Love Story for Humankind, that is
available on Amazon. I also have an entire first part in the series of two
books called 'Outsiders, and am writing a new novel, whose subject I want to
keep private for now:)
When do you hope
to publish it and how? Self Publish or Traditional Route?
Traditional route! I love
bookstores, and prefer myself to buy books that have been published by a
traditional publisher, as it assures the quality of writing.
Have you sent
your work out to agents and publishers in the past?
Yes, I did. I did it with The
Russian Patient, and I had an agent who was interested, but the book needed
more work!
Finally could you tell us how being a citizen with a dual Russian/Ukrainian family lineage, that this war and conflict has impacted you as a writer and perhaps more pertinently as a human being.
I discuss this painful subject in one of my blog posts.
Dwi ar bigau'r drain ag dwni'm pam.
Dych chi'n cael y teimlad ble dych i dan fygythiad. Bygythiadau ym mhob man. Bygythiadau dychmygol yn aml iawn. Dyma sut mae pobol propaganda yn gweithio. Yn pwyso eich botymau ofn yn eich isymwybod. Yr amgen, yr arall, yr eraill.
Oes yna air Cymraeg am gaslighting dw’ch? Mae rhai pobol dych chi'n adnabod yn chwarae ar eich ofnau ac yn cael hwyl yn gwneud hynny. Mae yn rhoi pleser iddynt i weld chi yn anghyffyrddus.
Mae hunan addoliad, hunan serch yn perthyn i rai pobol. Y narcissists bondigrybwyll. Sut ydach chi'n gwybod os dych chi'n delio gyda hunan-addolwr? Dydy o ddim gwastad yn glir. Maent yn gallu cuddio tu ôl i gyfaredd, swyn.
Mae'r hunan addolwr eisiau rhywbeth oddi wrthoch chi. Gan amlaf rhywbeth ni allant gymryd meddiant ohono sef eich enaid neu eich urddas, eich haelioni neu eich uniongyrchedd.
Maent yn gweithio arnoch chi fel dŵr yn llifo dros garreg. Jest digon bob tro i greu anniddigrwydd ond y swyn yn aros yn yr atgof. Dych chi'n mynd nôl am fwy a fwy o gamdriniaeth emosiynol ag dych chi jest ddim yn deall pam.
Mae'r hunan-addolwr wedi sylwi eich bod yn dioddef o hunan barch isel ac maent yn chwarae ar y ffaith yna bob tro dych chi'n cwrdd. Mae ymostyngiad neu 'condescension' yn arf mawr yn ei arfogaeth oherwydd maent yn ymwybodol yn y faith eich bod wedi cael eich cywilyddio gan bobol mewn awdurdod yn y gorffennol. Sut maen nhw yn gwybod?
Oherwydd maen nhw wedi dioddef yr un fath ond maent wedi delio gyda'r siom mewn ffordd wahanol. Mae nhw wedi troi mewn i'r person wnaeth cywilyddio nhw. Fel cameleon dynol maent yn gallu trawsnewid ei phersonoliaeth a'i ddull o fod yn syth os yw'r sefyllfa yn gofyn am hynny. Y sefyllfa yna ydy'r un ble maent yn ei elwa. Gan amlaf yn ariannol ond yn gyffredinol yn emosiynol. Mae rhaid iddynt ddod allan o bob cyfarfod tasant nhw yn dod allan o ornest, wedi i'w ennill.
Dim ond yn ddiweddar yn fy oes dwi wedi dod yn ymwybodol o'r fath bobol. Bobol sydd ddim yn stret gyda chi. Bobol gydag agendor. Bobol sydd yn atgyfnerthu'r teimlad ynddoch chi na dim ond yn ymwneud gyda chi i elwa mewn rhyw ffordd.
Mae hwn yn gallu bod yn sefyllfa anodd i chi oherwydd mae bob achos fel hyn yn gwanhau eich ymddiriedolaeth yn y natur ddynol ag mi rydych yn cilio mwy a mwy rhag ymwneud a phobol.
Dwi a'r bigau'r drain.
Wotcher Cock? How invisible do
you feel today? Not invisible enough eh?
Toxic Masculinity and the
Patriarchy giving you a bad name.
Your twenty years of fame are
surely to blame.
To go from a somebody to a
nobody in one quick exposure was always your plan.
Thanatos planted by ‘cywilydd Capel’
It’s a funny old game innit,
celebrity, fame
We’re all blaming the Sun but
that newspaper is our collective subconscious
It is the swamp of our minds
writ large
By screaming blue murder at it
we’re screaming at ourselves
You haven’t read enough Self
Help books, go look on the shelves.
The loneliness and isolation
you must have felt all these years
as a ‘Trophy Welshman’ holding
your own among the British Establishment
We would admire your suit and curled
lip and unfinished croissant
“Didn’t he do well” “Look you,
indeed to goodness he’s one of our own”
The ebullient personality and
dark moods.
Now in a Hospital bed you
think back to all you have lost
But think to what you have gained
The knowledge that
heterosexuality, marriage and family is all a game
It is within those prisons
that men hide all their shame
It’s out now, so you are free.
Bottom of the Ottoman from David Williams on Vimeo.
Crying in your Beer from David Williams on Vimeo.
I shall never wear tweeds from David Williams on Vimeo.