Strewth

I’m feeling defeated.

Anybody else?

Defeated by the idea of going ‘back to normal.’

I had been beaten into submission by society and life way before the pandemic began.

The lockdown has been a breather for me, a lifeline, whilst others die.

There’s a meme that says, died at 25 buried at 70.

I however, was ahead of the curve

A child prodigy

I’m not sure the exact age that I died but it was somewhere between 17 and 21.

All hope left my body and I was left this carcass.

I sneered at opportunities, I turned my back on optimism.

I knew that whatever was left for me was not to be trusted.

Depression

Depression turns to addiction

Addiction is depression

It is just that you have attached your melancholia to an outside source.

To the horse that will never win the race.

The jockeys of psychiatry and psychology and the wonder drug of CBT can help

Of course they can but if you are stubbornly refusing to get better

because you know that you are right and that life is shite,

well do you not deserve everything that comes your way?

So many of us know ‘intuitively’ that life is wrong

and Thanatos is buffing his nails.

He doesn’t care whether you live or die.

Living a lie is death

But what is truth but another death

God’s truth equals ‘Strewth’