Second Hand Frigidity

Second Hand Frigidity

They don't like people, who make it quite clear, that they've been doing it wrong all along.

You know that this life and your wife is not the right fit but you'll sit tight in the hope that you'll find the wit and wisdom to extricate yourself from this mess.

Come on lah! Fess!

While good queen Bess meets the geezer off the blue planet you are still checking whether you have any stake left in it!

Can I sell it? Can I fuck it? Can I make it? Can I bake it?

Where did your obsession with cooking come from cos the British palate is not renowned around the world 

There's Indian, there's Chinese. There's Italian but not many that carry your name.

"Just going down the Butcher's Apron for some conger eel and mash mother!"

"Don't forget to bring some back for your brother."

Sibling rivalry will be the death of many a family and while mummy is concerned about Freya some of the working class are on an all daya, it might be a bender or it might be breakfast but listen to me while I broadcast that it's social mobility and the lack of it that is making people die ten years before their time.

All this International malarkey is just a distraction.

They, the Eton Toffs and The Vicar's Daughter don't want you to have what you oughtta!

They want you focused on the telly and playing with your willy.

They do not want you to plot and plan on how to get rid of the man. 

They are just so glad that you are more concerned about your Nan

who is the same age as the Country's matriarch.

The one that Prince Charles is waiting to cark.

He has always wanted to be King, he'll be the oldest monarch to don the crown, at this rate it will lodge on his frown.

They've bought him off with the Severn bridge, I'd have given him a clapped out old fridge for his second hand frigidity.