I remember Carlo from nineteen sixty nine
He always had big ears and a sword on his shoulder
He wasn't so good looking, but he seemed to have such status
While I had none, I asked my Mam, "How come?"
Mother said Carlo was loose and cheap
And boys like that ended up on Benefits Street
Not like me, I was good, you see
Now I saw Carlo in Buck House today
He's a bloody prince now in every way
So darn rich, people tell me he's a bitch
With lovers by the score, do I have to tell you more
Oh, you've gorra siarad Saesneg if you wanna get on
Principality can only hold you back
The only men makin' it are men who are shakin' it
They're faking all their morals on the mat
It's an act, it's a fact
You've gorra siarad Saesneg if you wanna get a name
Bein' a good Cymro can only get you hurt
Inappropriate behaviour never brought a patriot fame
And women will always crave an SNP skirt (kilt to youze)
When you read the newspapers every day (No not the Scum)
There's always some berk in the letters page of the Western Mail that's having his say
By writing the usual bigotry, he makes himself a name
And no one blames him, Patriots all do the same
But then they get serious and elected to power
and go to the Welsh Assembly and that bullying shower
The FM is a Lawyer who's a really shrewd guy
And get's the peoples' sympathy by crying and crying
Oh, you've gorra siarad Saesneg if you wanna get on
Principality can only hold you back
The only men makin' it are men who are shakin' it
They're faking all their morals on the mat
It's an act, it's a fact
You've gorra siarad Saesneg if you wanna get a name
Bein' a good Cymro can only get you hurt
Inappropriate behaviour never brought a patriot fame
And women will always crave an SNP skirt (kilt to youze)
Well, the next time it happens as he starts to write
Of his schemes through the days and his plan through the nights
And even though it's tasteless, the book sells coast to coast
On all the chat shows, you can see him boast
And now they're makin' a film of the book
And no one gives a damn that the boy was a ham
They've got posters obscene, now he's mixin with the cream
No one even cares what he's done or where he's been
Oh, you've gorra siarad Saesneg if you wanna get on
Principality can only hold you back
The only men makin' it are men who are shakin' it
They're faking all their morals on the mat
It's an act, it's a fact
You've gorra siarad Saesneg if you wanna get a name
Bein' a good Cymro can only get you hurt
Inappropriate behaviour never brought a patriot fame
And women will always crave an SNP skirt (kilt to youze)
Yes, you've gorra siarad Saesneg if you wanna get on
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