I drove from Cardiff to Aberystwyth last night and I had indigestion all the way. Today I started thinking about indigestion as a metaphor for life in the privileged white west. I am sucking on a Gaviscon tablet now as I write this. It is because I rush my food. I have always rushed my food since school days. It is a very bad habit and I anticipate problems in the future. I had a diagnosis of 'hiatus hernia' maybe twenty years ago and took the Zantac for a while. Do you take medicines for a while and then give up? I think it's because I like strong coffee and that reacts with something and the coffee takes the place of smoking from years ago which triggered the original condition. Life is indigestible even if you are lucky enough to eat well. It wasn't only because I had rushed my food last night and had eaten a largish portion, it was also because I was 'anfodlon' and 'anniddig', two Welsh words that describe 'not contented' and 'irritable' and this because of the thoughts that I create in my mind. Even if I'm listening to soothing sounds or music, the mind can create all sorts of physical symptoms. I feel that I am on a loop, everyday is Ground hog Day, there is an elastic band that pulls me back to Cardiff and then pings me out to the West and I am pissed off with it. I can't settle in one place, I can't plan. I am forever thinking about the welfare of others and it is giving me indigestion. "Aye that's it blame others you loser, you don't know how lucky you are, you could be a Refugee........... Fade to Black."
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