Patience is a virtue
Posess it if you can
Seldom in a woman
but never in a man.
Posess it if you can
Seldom in a woman
but never in a man.
Now I am not the most patient man in the world. In fact I may be one of the most impatient men in the world. I am impatient to die. I am impatient to get this life over and done with. I am not depressed nor suicidal but this lingering life does not suit me. Every day my subconscious thinks about death, others, but mostly my own. I am impatient at the moment to leave Cardiff. I have been here 25 years and you don't get that for murder. Why have I stayed in the same house for 25 years, FEAR! I did leave once, to go to London but I ended up in Amsterdam self medicating my Mood Disorder if you know what I mean, nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more.
I do not want to acknowledge and I do not want to be acknowledged. Going about our daily business is like going to the toilet. I have no time for pleasantries or for flirting. I am a Puritan for heaven's sake. Now there are some of the fairer sex who suss me out straight away and know by pure intuition that I have a problem with patience and the teasing and the taunting is not worth the pay off in the end. On two occasions on two subsequent days I have been stood behind two dithering dames at the checkout counter, once at the 'super super super oh I how I love thee so supermarkets' and the other at a pharmacy. On both occasions I was getting 'stuff' for others and I am held up in my tracks by people who can't make their mind up. I'm sorry women, but you know that I am impatient, you can see it in my face then why o why do you still insist on fucking about in front of me. So I'll notice you? Do you really want a Manic depressive with bad breath and yellowing teeth to notice you? Do you really want to be wooed by me? No, well get out of the fucking way then, I have a life to waste elsewhere on Facebook and on Twitter. Now some ladies will be shocked that I a male supporter of Feminism can talk like this about some in the sisterhood but this Blog Post finds me 'pissed off' with gender wars and gender games! I notice if somebody has a bad experience then 'all men are bastards' and fathers for justice are just meant to take it? Why do people bother courting, fucking and getting married? Oh I forgot, for the fucking of course which in turn produces children which more often than not suffer from the parents blazing gender wars rows after they are born. Peeps do not work on their subconscious enough before they enter into relationships. They work out their neurosis on their partner. I know, I've been there! And I'm not going there again. So today Sunday 27th January I am feeling particularly impatient to get my kitchen plastered because I am a fuckwit DIY and I am getting fucked(My favourite word) about by a plasterer who can't plaster outside when its snowing.What is wrong with people? I want to get a basic kitchen fitted, again more benefit money wasted so I can fuck off from this 'Fear Factory' which has been my home for the last 25 years. Where will I go? Well the way I'm feeling at the moment back to Amsterdam to self medicate my mood disorder.
Fuck Reality.
(Freud was right, it's all about sex really)
.jfif)
Oh Red, if I had won the lottery I would have paid for you a trip (and board) to Irvington, Indiana USA. I would have meet my friends at the bookstore, go the free blues concerts every first Friday by people very, very close to our age, and we would walk across the street to the coffee house that has the open mic poetry for young people full of angst at the world when they don't really know what brick wall is actually ahead of them.....enjoy Amsterdam.
ReplyDeleteThat's really kind and sweet of you Jennifer and unexpected! I thought I might get rotten tomatoes thrown at me for this one!
ReplyDeleteI won't be going to Amsterdam. They kept me longer than I expected last time. All in the book which I hope will be out this year. Sounds like it could be a book reading in Irvington after all.