Why everyone you have ever known has only humoured you

 

Why everyone you have ever known has only humoured you

 

It has been a sneaking suspicion for quite some time

The tiredness in their eyes, the pained expression in their face, the false laugh

them looking at the clock and back at you.

“Right, you’ve had enough of me now”

is really

“I’ve had enough of you”

I’m a handful I know

Intense, big topics straight away

politics & mental illness hold sway.

They want to talk about themselves

but when you get to the meat of the matter

they look hot and bothered

in the middle of winter.

Some, have flat out refused to communicate

They just know that you 'have hate'

and will use it against them sooner or late.

I’m sure I was on the spectrum before it became a thing

alcohol & substances exacerbated the mood swing.

Now that I am old and bald and rely on my own inner core

it wont stop me from competing in the “World Politics Bore”

I could feel sorry for those who’ve had the misfortune to know me

but I’d really rather not.

I’ve only got so much compassion to go around

and this time it’s all going to be for me and not for those who humoured he

Sound!  

Living within the Prison Walls of Castell Gwalia

 

Living within the Prison Walls of Castell Gwalia

 

Well there’s posh words you’re using

to infer that you feel incarcerated in Wales

It’s not the 20mph

I’m all for it because I don’t have a car and I live my life like a snail

I’m gasping for breath here, I’m choking

Everything is closing in

What if it isn’t Cymru, just my mind?

I have become small and anonymous

I’m only 5 foot seven and a half in my socks and I wear dark glasses at night.

I don’t want to be known.

I don’t want to be seen.

Give me your Tik Tok filters

There’s something about the human gaze

I know how judgemental I am

“LOOK A MAN”

thinks the fearsome lady on the bus nudging her mate

“Not all men”

I think back at her

“You must have a guilt complex”

she beads me telepathically

Yes I do!

but I’m not sure what about

Let me help you with that!

Let’s go back twenty years.

I’d rather not.

‘Closed’ a #poem by Daf Williams

Hooray for All Gone Hollywood

 

https://twitter.com/chipsforaquid

https://twitter.com/iconic_ironic_

Out of the Frying Pan 

Into the Flicks

I was very fortunate last season to attend two away games during the story of Wrexham AFC's return to the Football League 2022/2023 and here's the proof.  

13th August 2022

Yeovil Town 1-1 Wrexham

Mullin '6

9th November 2022

Scunthorpe 1-3 Wrexham

Palmer 21', Hayden 33', Mullin 70'

I say fortunate because from what I've seen of this season's campaign in League 2 you would be very lucky to bag a seat home or away. That is what the sprinkly stardust of tinseltown does for you and one who has turned his love and encyclopaedic knowledge of cinema and its history into a hobby that glows in neon on Saturdays (and Tuesday nights if there is a midweek game) is Andy from twitter account "All Gone Hollywood" I started noticing his work very early on and likes became regular retweets on my behalf. I was taken by his ingenuity, his obvious love and appreciation of cinema and its history and his application in turning what he had witnessed at Stok Cae Ras into cinema posters. It was the speed with which they went up on twitter that amazed me. They were up the same evening within a couple of hours. He would also treat us to some prematch artwork on occasion to get the juices flowing.

A picture paints a thousand words and receiving 'Out of the Frying Pan and into the Flicks' into my grubby hands ensured that I hired a latex glove to turn the pages in homage to its creators. Andy at "All Gone Hollywood" teamed up with "Chips For a Quid"   to create a Magnum Opus, a Coffee Table book that any Wrexham FC supporter young or old would be very fortunate to get their hands on because not surprisingly it is now a limited edition collector's item. I can only shudder at what the amount of production costs came to because this is a quality edition, 60 pages of glossy paper with words and pictures by two who were obviously around Wrexham FC when our new chairpersons were young uns themselves. This work would especially appeal to a younger demographic. I imagined a picture of me as a teenager reading this with a torch under the bed covers. It is the work of enthusiasts for enthusiasts. 

My sage words of advice for anybody reading this is if you love Wrexham AFC, if you are passionate about films and cinema. If you appreciate, down to earth, no frills writing then monitor the social media accounts of "Chips for a Quid"  and "All Gone Hollywood"  throughout the season and especially towards the end because a little bird has told me that there will be another commemoration annual of Wrexham's inaugural season in League 2.

The way Wrexham are playing at the moment and with the signings that Parky has made this one could again become a much sought after collector's item.

On the back of the publication reads the following

Thank you for supporting this not-for-profit project. 10% of all

proceeds donated to Nightingale House Hospice, Wrexham 

Bonnie Prince Harry

 
They've recreated the facial features of Bonnie Prince Charlie and doesn't he look a dead ringer for Bonnie Prince Harry if you close your eyes and discount the beard. That same, distant expression. Instead of representing the House of Stuart, Harry is representing the House of Spare.

Now as an Anti-Monarchist (with a picture of Queen Elizabeth II at home on the wall because she sent it in a birthday card to my father on his 100th Birthday), you might think it strange that I am writing about Prince Harry, the true heir apparent to the English throne. Prince Harry is in exile as was Charles Edward Louis John Sylvester Maria Casimir Stuart. Both are young pretenders to the English throne. Bonnie Prince Charlie should have become Charles III and not Prince Harry's father.

As disinterested as you probably are, the question I have for you is this.

Should Prince Harry and his wife Megan arrive by boat on the West Coast of Scotland would you show your colours for the 'not so young' Chevalier or would you be standing in the ranks of Prince William of Wales' army under Major General Jeremy Clarkson?

We know that at every General Election we are required to vote for the lesser of the two evils, Conservative or Labour. We know that as subjects of the 'British Realm' we have to put up and shut up with their royal pish at our collective expense. Well I am asking you, whether you are Monarchist or Republican, if the choice was between Prince William and Prince Harry, which one would you choose for your King?

The likelihood is that Harry would be a much more 'down with the people' kind of monarch whereas we know that William has procreated like a Prince on a promise and that promise being to carry on with the status quo of unelected monarchy for generations to come.   

As Republican as I am I just do not see the Windsors (nee Saxe-Coburg unt Gothas) handing over the keys to their many palaces without a fight. Would you lay down your life for a British Republic? Thought not. Ok! Are you as prepared to kick up as much of a stink about our unelected Monarchy as you are about the 20mph zones and ULEZ? No? thought not. You mean you would rather kick a Just Stop Oil protestor in the bollocks than you would stopping 'The Firm' creaming off more funds into the Royal coffers? Yes, I thought this is who I was dealing with.

In that case there's no hope for any of us. Not even for those in late at night transatlantic telephone calls urging 'The House of Spare' to return to claim a right to a commoner's throne, through an interracial marriage, to honour his dear old mum, Our Diana. No we will just have to give up without a fight and accept our fate and buy a copy of the Big Issue from the new seller on the block.

 

You can call me the Red under your bed!

 

You can call me the Red under your Bed

A frisson of hope coursed through my veins today

when I heard that Russia had entered our airspace.

I had a premonition in Amsterdam about the Soviet Union and Iran

I sensed that they would be the new world order

and that we would be toast

We being the West who love to drop bombs on innocents

and wage war by proxy

the proper coward’s way.

The Ruling Elite in Britain

could do with a Bolshevik Revolution

to give them a ‘braw’

which is shock in Welsh

but we await with a sense of awe.

Shock and Awe.

Will Putin march his men down to the Cenotaph?

Will he occupy Buckingham Palace and put an oligarch in charge?

Will he liberate all the migrants from that shitty old barge?

Will he send Suella to Rwanda and send Rishi off in a small boat?

Or will he continue to bomb Ukraine the silly old goat?

He needs to invade Britain and give us a kick up the arse

We’ve become bitter and hostile since Brexit

We need a Communist light exit

You can call me the Red under your bed.

Pest Poet Patrol

 

I'm in the library reading the poems of others

and what strikes me is how lonely they appear!

Children need to scream in the summer holidays in

supermarkets and in bookshops and on the buses.

And like them I believe that poems should shout 

and not lie limply upon a page like a cut flower past its sell by date.

I'm working out how best to deal with rats.

They are in my loft 🐀

I hear them scurrying up and down the wall outside.

We live in parallel universes, the rats and the poet

and even though I do not earn from this most bizarre of pasttimes

I still eat.

I don't want to poison them because I can hear their babies squeal

They are probably thinking "that human's a nuisance.

trying to write poetry that is beneath us (literally)

We should get on to pest control"

Pest Poet Control

    Pest Poet Patrol