When I was young I could eat pickled onions

When I was young I could eat pickled onions

 

When I was young I could eat pickled onions

I ate a whole jar

Now I would have to go and have a lie down if I ate just one

They’d give you Milk of Magnesia in years gone by for a dicky tum.

I’m nostalgic today for things I used to do without thinking

like bending down or turning round quickly.

We used to spin like tops as kids

I remember jumping off a garage roof

did my brain and spine know about that one?

They were telling me off for weeks.

I used to fall off walls and bang my head

and run in the house crying.

Humpty Dumpty had nothing on me.

Now I look like Humpty Dumpty whose had an extra dose of pudding.

Where do your treble chins come from

and the tyre around your waist?

My metabolism has slowed right down

I think it’s waiting for a starting gun.    

Watching what you eat is the pain when your old!

Coffee and Chocolate & Cheese & Fried Food

can lay me low for days.

Sitting up in bed like an old wallflower

So your acidic bile stays in a pile in your belly.

I can’t remember the last time I had strawberry jelly.

You could be a daredevil as a kid

as an adult the devil dares you on the daily and its best to just say no!

I know we are all going to die

but I’d rather go in bed with a hot water bottle and a cup of cocoa

than in a fast car smoking a hookah.

When I was young I could eat pickled onions.