Wales will be my prison until my dying day

 

Wales will be my prison until my dying day

“But what about the rugby?” you say

“Exactly, you’ve made my point” I reply

“Posh bloke picks up a football in a school of the same name

now we’re all over the game like a rash, such a shame”

 

Wales will be my prison until my dying day

because they want us to speak Welsh and drive at 20 miles an hour

No wonder the llefrith/llaeth I drink leaves me feeling sour.

Church and Chapel hang heavy over our lives

The gossips make you feel that you’re living with a bunch of spies.

 

Wales will be my prison until my dying day

You dare not be different or espouse a different way to be

They immediately assume if you are not married that you are LGBT

Politically there’s populists and the woke, there’s the Brits and the Cymry

I’d like to strangle all of them, make them all croak

 

Wales will be my prison until my dying day

We’re joyless and lifeless forever looking at our botwm bol

A referendum for this, a petition for that and a march for the other

The well paid politicians are wondering about us

“Why do they all bother?”

 

 Wales will be my prison until my dying day

The law of “Thou shalt not” and “Don’t you dare” still hold sway

When the lights go down on the disco floor

When the wedding guests are sitting on the drunk best man, the bore

The next generation will be consumated before they’ve closed the door.

 

Wales will be my prison until my dying day

“Robert Page & Warren Gatland will show us how to play.

We don’t need no Bible or any religious book

as long as I can have a beer and a banter with the boys.

That is my best look.

 

Wales will be my prison until my dying day

You can shove your 'Yma o Hyd' and your 'Gwlad Gwlad' up your arse

Nationalism based on a race of people is such a fucking farce

You’re only moaning cos the English defeated your ancestors way back when.

The fact they’ve got a second home in your back garden is just fucking zen.

 

Wales will be my prison until my dying day

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again

“Oh put a sock in it mun” I hear you say

It will be my prison

because I was born on St David’s Day. 

When I was young I could eat pickled onions

When I was young I could eat pickled onions

 

When I was young I could eat pickled onions

I ate a whole jar

Now I would have to go and have a lie down if I ate just one

They’d give you Milk of Magnesia in years gone by for a dicky tum.

I’m nostalgic today for things I used to do without thinking

like bending down or turning round quickly.

We used to spin like tops as kids

I remember jumping off a garage roof

did my brain and spine know about that one?

They were telling me off for weeks.

I used to fall off walls and bang my head

and run in the house crying.

Humpty Dumpty had nothing on me.

Now I look like Humpty Dumpty whose had an extra dose of pudding.

Where do your treble chins come from

and the tyre around your waist?

My metabolism has slowed right down

I think it’s waiting for a starting gun.    

Watching what you eat is the pain when your old!

Coffee and Chocolate & Cheese & Fried Food

can lay me low for days.

Sitting up in bed like an old wallflower

So your acidic bile stays in a pile in your belly.

I can’t remember the last time I had strawberry jelly.

You could be a daredevil as a kid

as an adult the devil dares you on the daily and its best to just say no!

I know we are all going to die

but I’d rather go in bed with a hot water bottle and a cup of cocoa

than in a fast car smoking a hookah.

When I was young I could eat pickled onions.   

Why everyone you have ever known has only humoured you

 

Why everyone you have ever known has only humoured you

 

It has been a sneaking suspicion for quite some time

The tiredness in their eyes, the pained expression in their face, the false laugh

them looking at the clock and back at you.

“Right, you’ve had enough of me now”

is really

“I’ve had enough of you”

I’m a handful I know

Intense, big topics straight away

politics & mental illness hold sway.

They want to talk about themselves

but when you get to the meat of the matter

they look hot and bothered

in the middle of winter.

Some, have flat out refused to communicate

They just know that you 'have hate'

and will use it against them sooner or late.

I’m sure I was on the spectrum before it became a thing

alcohol & substances exacerbated the mood swing.

Now that I am old and bald and rely on my own inner core

it wont stop me from competing in the “World Politics Bore”

I could feel sorry for those who’ve had the misfortune to know me

but I’d really rather not.

I’ve only got so much compassion to go around

and this time it’s all going to be for me and not for those who humoured he

Sound!  

Living within the Prison Walls of Castell Gwalia

 

Living within the Prison Walls of Castell Gwalia

 

Well there’s posh words you’re using

to infer that you feel incarcerated in Wales

It’s not the 20mph

I’m all for it because I don’t have a car and I live my life like a snail

I’m gasping for breath here, I’m choking

Everything is closing in

What if it isn’t Cymru, just my mind?

I have become small and anonymous

I’m only 5 foot seven and a half in my socks and I wear dark glasses at night.

I don’t want to be known.

I don’t want to be seen.

Give me your Tik Tok filters

There’s something about the human gaze

I know how judgemental I am

“LOOK A MAN”

thinks the fearsome lady on the bus nudging her mate

“Not all men”

I think back at her

“You must have a guilt complex”

she beads me telepathically

Yes I do!

but I’m not sure what about

Let me help you with that!

Let’s go back twenty years.

I’d rather not.

‘Closed’ a #poem by Daf Williams

Hooray for All Gone Hollywood

 

https://twitter.com/chipsforaquid

https://twitter.com/iconic_ironic_

Out of the Frying Pan 

Into the Flicks

I was very fortunate last season to attend two away games during the story of Wrexham AFC's return to the Football League 2022/2023 and here's the proof.  

13th August 2022

Yeovil Town 1-1 Wrexham

Mullin '6

9th November 2022

Scunthorpe 1-3 Wrexham

Palmer 21', Hayden 33', Mullin 70'

I say fortunate because from what I've seen of this season's campaign in League 2 you would be very lucky to bag a seat home or away. That is what the sprinkly stardust of tinseltown does for you and one who has turned his love and encyclopaedic knowledge of cinema and its history into a hobby that glows in neon on Saturdays (and Tuesday nights if there is a midweek game) is Andy from twitter account "All Gone Hollywood" I started noticing his work very early on and likes became regular retweets on my behalf. I was taken by his ingenuity, his obvious love and appreciation of cinema and its history and his application in turning what he had witnessed at Stok Cae Ras into cinema posters. It was the speed with which they went up on twitter that amazed me. They were up the same evening within a couple of hours. He would also treat us to some prematch artwork on occasion to get the juices flowing.

A picture paints a thousand words and receiving 'Out of the Frying Pan and into the Flicks' into my grubby hands ensured that I hired a latex glove to turn the pages in homage to its creators. Andy at "All Gone Hollywood" teamed up with "Chips For a Quid"   to create a Magnum Opus, a Coffee Table book that any Wrexham FC supporter young or old would be very fortunate to get their hands on because not surprisingly it is now a limited edition collector's item. I can only shudder at what the amount of production costs came to because this is a quality edition, 60 pages of glossy paper with words and pictures by two who were obviously around Wrexham FC when our new chairpersons were young uns themselves. This work would especially appeal to a younger demographic. I imagined a picture of me as a teenager reading this with a torch under the bed covers. It is the work of enthusiasts for enthusiasts. 

My sage words of advice for anybody reading this is if you love Wrexham AFC, if you are passionate about films and cinema. If you appreciate, down to earth, no frills writing then monitor the social media accounts of "Chips for a Quid"  and "All Gone Hollywood"  throughout the season and especially towards the end because a little bird has told me that there will be another commemoration annual of Wrexham's inaugural season in League 2.

The way Wrexham are playing at the moment and with the signings that Parky has made this one could again become a much sought after collector's item.

On the back of the publication reads the following

Thank you for supporting this not-for-profit project. 10% of all

proceeds donated to Nightingale House Hospice, Wrexham