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Tuesday, 5 April 2022

Conforming to Norms

 


CONFORMING TO NORMS

There was a Norman called Norman
who didn't conform to norms.
He did not have an unequaled capacity for rapid movement across land and sea.
He was not brutally violent
He had no money sense.
He refused to convert to Christianity despite the pact with the King of France.
Norman was teetotal and refused to drink the wine.
He disapproved of feudalism and couldn't be bothered
 to speak English full of French words.
When offered a horse he declined and set out on foot 
and started 'running' when other Normans fired arrows at him.
Norman was the first person in the Great British United Kingdom
'not to conform to norms'
He was a trailblazer, 
who set about smashing 'motte and bailey' castles when he came across one 
(ok he was a little bit violent)
Norman made his way to the North
because the North didn't like the Normans
he became known as Norman the North.
William and his huge conk spent the winter of 1069-1070 harrying the entire northern part of his  kingdom from the west to east coast.
He hunted down rebels and murdered and mutilated the peasantry,
burnt crops, livestock and farming equipment
which resulted in a devastating famine.
This was all duly noted by Norman the North in his notebook
because Norman did not conform to norms.
He announced 
"William the Conk is a Fief"
He had a speech impediment
William the Conk is a 'Thief'
who introduced the concept of 'Taxes'
in the Doomsday Book.
(Spelled this way because anything to do with taxes spells DOOM) 
90% of the population lived in the countryside and 75% were serfs
"Plus ca change" Norman spat
"Some of these Normans are gonna get fat off the land."
To this day there is still resentment among some in the North
towards the Normans in the South.
"Le Shandy Pants" is still a refrain heard in Leeds.
Norman of the Great North Run
did not conform to Norms.


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