My First, My Last, My Everything

"Industrial units replace farms. FRUIT DISTRIBUTION CENTRE: a white flag pole garlanded with barbed wire. A faded Union Jack. We're closing on territory where Englishness is a threat, faces painted with red crosses. The Darent is nudged aside by the thrust of the M25 -as it races towards the Thames. Wat Tyler, famously revolting peasant and local hero, lends his name to profoundly conservative pubs. Top Man: the most popular Dartford heritage token. Before the advent of Mick Jagger."   Iain Sinclair: London Orbital (Salt to Source page 448)

I propose in this blog post to replace God Save the Queen with Barry White's My First, My Last, My Everything. You might deduce from my social commentary of the 14/4/2022 that I am a traitor to the British cause in my generic Eastern European accent but I hope to suggest something here that might ameliorate your bruised feelings. When I said 'This country is an absolute shithole" I was of course referring to the Conservative Government, the Home Office and their paymasters the British Monarchy. 

God save our gracious Queen,
Long live our noble Queen,
God save the Queen:
Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us:
God save the Queen.


O Lord our God arise,
Scatter her enemies,
And make them fall:
Confound their politics,
Frustrate their knavish tricks,
On Thee our hopes we fix:
God save us all.


Thy choicest gifts in store,
On her be pleased to pour;
Long may she reign:
May she defend our laws,
And ever give us cause
To sing with heart and voice
God save the Queen.
On Thee our hopes we fix:
God save us all.

In the three verses of God Save the Queen there isn't a single mention of the landmass of ancient Britain. This is an anthem that is encouraging us to protect the Head of State so how can it be a National Anthem?  Written in 1825 they foresaw the Policing Bill with these lines from the second verse 

Scatter her enemies, 

And make them fall:

Confound their politics,

Frustrate their knavish tricks,

It doesn't state where those enemies are?! Coming across the channel in a dinghy perhaps.

Can you imagine Wembley rocking to the soulful sounds of Barry White, a black man with a white name. Ticks all the boxes right? You need a song to unite a people not a dirge to make them feel more oppressed than they already are. After all they are singing to protect the mother of a nonce and if there is something that the Working Class Brit doesn't like, it is a nonce.

By replacing the de facto anthem of the United Kingdom you will essentially be ushering the advent of a British Republic where the House of Windsor will have exited bloodlessly stage left and Great Britain will henceforth be referred to as its ancient name of 'Britain'. There will be no United Kingdom anymore because there will be no more Kings and Queens. Only Barry White singing to the landmass "You're my first, my last, my everything."

Welsh and Scottish Nationalists can then decide whether they wish to go it alone but even they in their passion know that as they clutch their Ivy and Mountain Heather that there is no chance of Independence from an unaccountable, un-elected, Great British Monarchy.

Take it away Barry

   

Social Commentary 14/4/2022

The Theatre of Over-Reaction

 

You'll know my blogging style by now. Writing on a whim, on a hunch. Very little research or statistical information to back my claims up. Just a whole lot of supposition and hearsay. That's just how you like it or you wouldn't still be with me after 10 years and thank you by the way. Thank you for reading this.

I'm going to draw a comparison between Will Smith's slap of Chris Rock and Putin's invasion of Ukraine. I actually wrote Afghanistan there before correcting it to Ukraine. Putin is the subconscious of the old Soviet states. This has been churning over and over in the back of his mind since before 2014. When he was a KGB agent in Dresden and when the Berlin wall fell. Like ET he phoned home to tell them and nobody answered. Boris Yeltsin had said in hindsight that it had been a mistake to promote him.

Will Smith the former child star in an open relationship with Jada Pinkett Smith. A lot of tinseltown water has flowed under the bridge since he started treading the boards. He reacted to Chris Rock's insult of his wife like Putin reacted to NATO's fucking about in the Ukraine since 2014. Rock got a slap in the glare of cameras and Ukraine has been bombed mercilessly since Russian troops invaded. 

They both reacted but they both over reacted to the contents of their subconscious. If Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud were both standing over the minds of Will Smith and Vladimir Putin when they over reacted what would they say?

Freud might speculate that Smith had not been getting enough sex. He might speculate that Putin had been getting too much. Jung might say that the anima of both men had been diminished to such an extent that all they saw was Chris Rock's cheek and Ukraine's ostentatious flirting with the West. 

It wasn't about the inciting incident but all the crap that had been left to fester inside Smith and Putin's subconscious. They hadn't done their spiritual spring cleaning. A boiler needs a service every ten years minimum, ideally once a year. How long had these guys gone before having a Kundalini Yoga Session or going on a mindfulness retreat.

I feel sorry for both in so much that even though they have to deal with their demons the world carries on in its unconscious format. Hollywood and the Ukraine are symbols of unconsciousness. If you keep poking Will Smith and the Russian Bear they will both react. Smith to his 'loveless' marriage and Putin to the fact that the west have demonised the Soviet Union and Russia since the Hammer & Sickle was hoisted over the Reichstag in 1945.

The West has bullied and demonised Russia since 1917 when they had the audacity to overthrow their monarchy. Imagine if the poor of America had overthrown their ruling elite during the Great Depression where would they be now? 

How many of us can honestly say that we have never over reacted? It's not about what is said or done at the time but about what it triggers in us. Many of us are walking time bombs carrying around a dreadful amount of psychic and spiritual shit from the past. If we don't kill others in reaction we end up killing ourselves. As you know there just aren't enough therapists to go around.

Chris Rock niggled Smith as Ukraine and NATO have been niggling Putin. They both reacted without self restraint. They both reacted and we are where we are. The most amusing thing to me in a deeply tragic way as a common and garden blogger and social commentator is that we 'the others' just have to carry on in our own sweet way. Plenty to see here but we can't allow it to stop our banal lives. We have queues to join at Manchester Airport or Lorries to park at Dover.

Atrocities in the Ukraine are being described as War Crimes. The biggest crime is the way that we are living in reaction. Watching 24 hour news and taking to twitter as our collective subconsciousness is being hastily eroded. Take a side, pick a side we are told when in reality there are no sides to pick. 

We go to the kitchen to boil the kettle and Jung and Freud are waiting for us.         

Conforming to Norms

 

CONFORMING TO NORMS

There was a Norman called Norman

who didn't conform to norms.

He did not have an unequaled capacity for rapid movement across land and sea.

He was not brutally violent

He had no money sense.

He refused to convert to Christianity despite the pact with the King of France.

Norman was teetotal and refused to drink the wine.

He disapproved of feudalism and couldn't be bothered

 to speak English full of French words.

When offered a horse he declined and set out on foot 

and started 'running' when other Normans fired arrows at him.

Norman was the first person in the Great British United Kingdom

'not to conform to norms'

He was a trailblazer, 

who set about smashing 'motte and bailey' castles when he came across one 

(ok he was a little bit violent)

Norman made his way to the North

because the North didn't like the Normans

he became known as Norman the North.

William and his huge conk spent the winter of 1069-1070 harrying the entire northern part of his  kingdom from the west to east coast.

He hunted down rebels and murdered and mutilated the peasantry,

burnt crops, livestock and farming equipment

which resulted in a devastating famine.

This was all duly noted by Norman the North in his notebook

because Norman did not conform to norms.

He announced 

"William the Conk is a Fief"

He had a speech impediment

William the Conk is a 'Thief'

who introduced the concept of 'Taxes'

in the Doomsday Book.

(Spelled this way because anything to do with taxes spells DOOM) 

90% of the population lived in the countryside and 75% were serfs

"Plus ca change" Norman spat

"Some of these Normans are gonna get fat off the land."

To this day there is still resentment among some in the North

towards the Normans in the South.

"Le Shandy Pants" is still a refrain heard in Leeds.

Norman of the Great North Run

did not conform to Norms.

FREE THE NORTH NOW