The Ballad of Whalebone Williams

It was the year twenty twenty three

And Captain Whalebone Williams was heading out to sea

He left Felinheli with a boat full of jam

Guinness, Marmite, All-bran and a pig full of ham

 

He’d been ordered by the First Minister to discover more land

Whalebone Williams was very experienced, in fact an old hand

He’d discovered Patagonia before that was even a thing

He named it y ‘Wladfa’ because it had a ring.

 

He’d met pirates and British Royalty and dealt with them the same

A cutlass and gun shot through them until both were lame

He sent them back to their respective homes

In Union Jack and Skull & Crossbones.

 

Whalebone Williams had seen where Davey Jones did sleep.

but not the most awesome mammal of the deep

He’d sailed from Youghal and Porthcawl

He wanted to spot the Antarctic Big Blue Whale.

 

He had to claim more land for Wales but a detour was on the cards

His men were not happy as they flew past in shards

Tierra Del Fuego

Whalebone shouting ‘Hasta Luego’

 

They’d drunk all the Guinness and eaten all the Marmite and All-Bran

All that they had left on board was a leg full of ham.

Williams wouldn’t be happy unless he’d spotted the old man

The Big Fish that had given its name to his homeland. 

 

He didn’t want to kill it, he wanted to hear its song

Legend had it that it was a cross between a Male Voice Choir and a Gong.

They had just passed South Georgia and were giving up the ghost

When the Ship’s cook called them to the galley for the Sunday Roast.

 

Oven Ready leg of ham, a sliver each did have

Then turned on Whalebone Williams and push then became shove

Just as the Captain was to give in and agree to return to land

A big eye appeared at the porthole to lend a helping hand.

 

The Antarctic Big Blue Whale winked at Williams and Whalebone sent one back

All the crew were dazed and amazed, they were all thunderstruck.

They’d traveled all this way for a spiritual encounter

The First Minister would have to accept there were no further lands to conquer.

 

Captain Whalebone Williams retired to Penrhyn Llŷn

And on certain nights when the stars were bright he’d recount what he had seen.

He’d hand a huge Conch shell to his guest and ring the Captain’s bell,

for the sound of gongs and choirs, the Antarctic Blue Whale knell.