I went to the Job Centre last week to see if I could squeeze any more acidic milk out of the dry and shriveled nipple of the Welfare State. Yes Shark Fisher Fans, I made a claim for Universal Credit more out of curiosity than thinking that I would get anything from the Government's Imaginary Money Tree. I am currently on £62.40 a week Carers Allowance which just about pays for the World Wide Syndication of this blog. I decided to use my constitutional right and conduct my affairs through the very ancient and very beautiful Welsh Language. All went swimmingly until I got to the Job Centre. Not only had I explained that I was a Carer but that I had a long term Mental Health Condition namely Bipolar Disorder but this Work Coach knew her onions and knew Bipolar Disorder. "If you are unable to work because of your Bipolar Disorder then you must get a sick/fit note from your GP" Well this instruction raised alarm bells because my Doctor as well as half the UK and most of the DWP and the HMRC believe me to be a 'malingerer' and not a proper Van Gogh model of manic depressive. A strange fact is that Bipolar Disorder is on my medical notes with the Community Mental Health Team but does not appear on the notes with my GP. There does not seem to be a cross over between the two. I then informed the work coach in English because the token Welsh Speaker was not available, "That under no circumstances could I undertake any heavy lifting or spiritually stultifying jobs at the present time because I was spending over 35 hours a week caring" By caring, I mean spending most of my time on social media but I didn't tell them that obviously. I didn't want to talk myself out of free money.
I am going to be 53 years of age in 3 weeks time. I don't need this grief. Along with many thousands and millions of others across the world I would forego the unseemly and degrading process of begging for benefits in return for promising to work voluntarily in return for a 'Universal Basic Income'. They've trialed it in Finland but in reporting it, the BBC have belittled it by calling it 'Free Money'. You know guvnor money with no strings attached, nudge nudge wink wink. The Protestant work ethic has a lot to answer for. Since our snotty nosed days in school we have been instructed that 'Arbeit Macht Frei' If that is indeed true, then why not pay schoolchildren to go to school. Teachers are getting adequately remunerated for suffering verbal abuse and mountains of paperwork then why shouldn't the pupils be paid to go to school? If they were paid, they might behave better, they might become incentivised to learn instead of being press ganged into exam sitting and passing without adequate explanation. If Secondary Modern Comprehensive Education is free and especially in Wales where the parasitic political parties who sit in the Senedd/Welsh Parliament Madame Chairperson want young people to vote at 16 in order that they vote for their particular parasitic party THEN why can't Parents/Teachers/Government/Schools pay each and every pupil a weekly wage for attending school? The local PRU would become empty overnight. By paying pupils to attend their color coded schools, the Welsh Assembly would then be able to avoid Post 16 litigation because if they are being remunerated then they cannot complain but if they are going to school and being failed by peer pressure, by bullying, by dis-functional school environments and by out of date exam boards and then failing, SURELY, surely ex pupils should be able to take their former schools to court for failing them. Pupils don't fail exams. Schools fail pupils.
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