Shitting Complex

New Shitting Complex for Aber

Whilst eating my toast with crunchy peanut butter I looked at the frontpage of the 'Cambrian Snooze' this morning and then I looked back at the bits in my peanut butter and for one hallucinatory second it looked like I was eating shit. It looks like they are going to be building a 'Shitting Complex' in Aberystwyth or as the newspaper calls it a 'two storey shopping and eating complex'. That will be helpful and handy, positioned right next door to the Wetherspoons aka the train station. Our town and city centres are becoming 'Shitting Complexes'. I love using the defecation metaphor to describe shopping and eating because shopping and eating = shitting. You can't avoid it I'm afraid. Story continues on Page 3. Well I nearly dropped my toast. It appears that the only concerns that have been raised relate to bats on site, waste management and energy efficiency. They are going to need a lot of waste management. Aberystwyth Railway Station is a metaphor for an anal sphincter. It brings the bits of carrot and corn and the cob in which then tastefully position themselves in Borth and down as far as Newquay. In another article on Page 2. "Christmas decorations in Aberystwyth have been described as 'rubbish' and not a patch on those in towns such as rival shopping centres in Carmarthen". And there we have it. The journos and councillors see Aber as a shopping centre. Well the footings and waste management are in place for Marks and Spencers and Tescos which will surely be ready for next Christ-Mass.
Cardiff Central train station has been described as 'not fit for purpose'. Swansea train station is in a salubrious part of town. What is it about Welsh towns and train stations that make town planners feel that they need to show visitors the town's backside.   
The final article that caught my trained eye was "Man shouted abuse at Welsh after England lost in World Cup" Police saw the defendant walk behind the Academy pub where they heard him shout 'you are Welsh, you are c***s and we won the rugby'. 
In years to come, Aberystwyth will be a Freudian theme park where visitors will be able to alight from the train station in Victorian frock coats and see locals behind perspex screens taking a shit and talking Welsh. 

This town is going down

it is full of the brown

stuff & nonsense in the shops

£1.00 biscuits, bits & mops.

no gentrification here

just plebification

pizzas, kebabs, burgers

waste management a speciality

on the menu