Plenty of Fish in the Sea

Bipolar Nation Part Deux!

The Shark Fisherman of Wales also not known as D.I.Y Dave has always prided himself on the zeitgeist, having his finger ont pulse even though he doesn't have a television set, he gets his news through the wireless and tinternet. Well recently I wrote a blog post about Wales being a Bipolar Nation and my theory is that because Wales is Bipolar, that is what has made me Bipolar.

 

http://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/bipolar-nation.html

I have been living in a Bipolar Nation and it do have turned me 'Doollalley Tap Mun'. In this blog post I ascertained that North & South Wales are two very different countries.

http://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.co.uk/2014/05/the-northsouth-divide-in-wales.html

 

 

Now, I am not saying that I am right mind but it appears that the two countries were not North & South Wales but West & East Wales. From this Map which do have been doing the rounds of social media it appears that the Conservatives & Labour are now irrelevancies in Wales, it is a battle between the Green of West Wales and the Purple of East Wales.

 

 

So Good Manic Depressives of No Good Wales.

You can no longer sh..I mean sit on the fence. You will have to choose. Are you Welsh who don't want the English here or are you British who don't want the Romanians here? Do you want to be Welsh in Europe or do you want to be British out of Europe?

 

I'm off to take my free prescription medication.

 

They have to pay in England apparently.

 

But we have to pay for plastic bags and they don't.

 

 

D.I.Y Dave

 

They don't call me D.I.Y Dave

 

because I am shit at D.I.Y

but rather than paying shysters over the odds

I'd rather have a try.

 

The kitchen looks as if its been put together by a boxer wearing gloves

🥊

 

Give me a Hammer and some nails and I'm your man.

 

"Bang Bang, Thank you Ma,am." 

 

There's no subtlety, no nuance, no craft

 

Just Bodge it, Cut it, That'll do!

 

I don't believe in perfection

 

Bull at a Gate Productions present

 

Hopeless around the House.

 

Zap, Thud, Crash, Saw, Boing,

 

D.I.Y Dave

 

available for bar mitzvahs and weddings. 

The Hermit's Prayer

 

 

 

 

Staying away from the world today is always worth a shot

 

 

Taking a break from all the people sure would help a lot

 

 

Wouldn't you like to stay at home?

 

 

Many times you want to stay

 

 

where nobody knows your name.

 

 

And you're always glad you stayed.

 

 

You wanna be where you can see

 

 

no trouble in the frame

 

 

You wanna go where nobody knows your name.

Wem

Lleisiau'r Capel/Chapel Voices

Lleisiau'r Capel

 

 

"Dyn hanner cant, canol oed, yn di briod".
 

Dych chi'n meddwl i fod o'n hoyw Maldwyn"?
 

"Maldwyn!? O gysga di'r diawl, fy ngŵr bonheddig"
 

Nawr ta i ble ai heno? Y WI neu Ferched y Wawr?
 

"Dewisiadau, Dewisiadau."
 

"Hen, hen lanc maent yn ei deud ond rydym yn gwybod yn iawn yn y cyffiniau yma, cyffiniau'r Capel fod hwnna yn god am....
 

Gwrywgydiaeth.
 

Wyt ti'n meddwl i fod o yn 'Man Holder' Maldwyn"?
 

"Efallai fod o ddim wedi cwrdd ar fenyw iawn" meddai Maldwyn yn ei drwmgwsg.
 

"Ond mi wyt ti yn do Maldwyn bach" meddai Marged, nawr yn gwisgo ei ffrog a'i wisg Diaconiaid o Anne Summers. 
 

'Crack' ddaeth y chwip i lawr ar ben Maldwyn.
 

"Tyrd Maldwyn bach" rydym ni am chwarae 'Blaenoriaid a Morwynion'
 

"Mi allai ddim" meddai Maldwyn "Mae gen i ben tost rŵan".
 

Bipolar Nation

North Wales v South Wales, Gog v Hwntw, Welsh Speaker v Non Welsh Speaker, Rugby v Football. Yes, I am convinced that I live in a Bipolar Nation. A country of extremes. The Principality? We have many types of Welsh Person, The Capelwr v The Cyfryngwr, there's another one for you. We cannot just wish life back into the Welsh language. The tension is killing me. Knowing that we are being turned into a McDonald's 24 hour Drive In. Saunders Lewis called it 'yr unfed awr ar ddeg' in 1962. Rather than these tiny badges with 'Cymraeg' on them, we should be wearing High Visibility Jackets like the Highways Department. Tory Minister of Pakistani origin last week stating that all new immigrants should speak English. Imagine if that was passed in Law in the Riotous Assembly down Kairdiff Bay. Campaign for Caernarfon to be the Capital of Wales. The 'Working Class' of Cardiff that I have spoken to, resent the Assembly and all the 'Welshies' coming into their city. We were never Welsh is their refrain. Finding somewhere to belong when you are Bipolar in a Bipolar Nation is very difficult. You are expected to fulfil roles and to be a certain kind of person. Every time I write or speak English I feel like a 'Bradwr'. This is the language used by the Oppressors who built all those castles. A man of my hairstyle and kidneys should be using one of these languages to make money but I am like the proverbial 'Gwningen' stuck in the headlights. So another day behind dark glasses beckons for me, because it is going to be sunny and because I don't want anybody looking into my eyes, into my soul. I don't want an ordinary person who doesn't care about the things I care about to be disturbed. They have grocery shopping to attend to, a meeting to go to, coffee to drink, a shit to take. Why do I care about my Bipolar Nation so much? Oh land of extremes, should I go and live in England, turn my back on you? Shall I go and live on top of a mountain with a sheepdog and black cat for company?  I'm afraid the status quo is untenable because I am turning into bitter white trash.



The North/South Divide in Wales

Now I don't expect this blog post to go down well with supporters of Plaid Cymru but I think there should be 2 Plaid Cymru. One for North Wales and one for South Wales. Having been born in the South, raised in the North and spent the last 25 years back in the South I have come to the firm realisation that Wales is two countries. What does a man in Holyhead have in common with a woman in Cowbridge or Abergavenny? I'm sure that Scotland has the same problem. The Capital, Edinburgh is as far removed from the Highlands and Islands as Cardiff is from Amlwch. We are aware of Anglesey because Prince William and his Mrs and his aeroplane were stationed there. Many, better qualified than I have bemoaned the A470. Personally I don't want a Motorway between North and South Wales, this will be another threat to the 'Mother Tongue'. I believe that if Wales were flat like the Netherlands that 'Cymraeg' would be extinct. It is the 'tirlun' that keeps it.

I was thinking today as I travelled through 'Mwynder Maldwyn' the beauty of Montgomeryshire, passing the signs that screamed 'No Wind Turbines' here, what these people would say if Wylfa became the next Fukushima. It could have happened at Trawsfynydd. People seem to have implicit faith in Nuclear Power over any form of sustainable energy. These Nimbys appear to be more concerned about the aesthetic of Wind Turbines on the countryside than the possibility of a Nuclear Meltdown.

http://www.clickonwales.org/2013/08/nuclear-argument-exposes-plaid-dilemma/

'As long as we are all right' appears to be the motto of many rural Welsh. A Conservative MP, all be it one who has learnt the Welsh Language represents this area. I suppose if you are a land owner it is difficult to think in wider terms. Where were the Farmers when the Miners were on strike eh? eh? My first experience of canvassing for a General Election was in 1992 supporting the Plaid Cymru/Green Coalition in Ceredigion under Cynog Dafis. I was Plaid Cymru then but I am Green now because I believe that if the Global Climate is affected adversely then Wales' problems will be largely insignificant. I supported Plaid when it was a Protest Party. It rather fancies itself now as a Party of Government. It appears that like the other Parties, its members sleep in their suits. For a nationalist, socialist, republican party it has 2 elected members to the House of Lords. Maybe 'Plaid y Cymoedd' might be a better name for it nowadays!
We will have to see what happens in Scotland come September. I hope that it becomes Independent, if anything to give the Metropolitan Elite in London something to keep them up at night. Tacticians of which there are many believe that Independence for Scotland will be bad for Wales.

"If you vote like this, it will let this lot in".  
"Well so effing what would be my reply, I vote with my conscience".

Naively, my politics has always been one of protest. When bods start taking themselves seriously, we have problems. The only thing we need to take seriously at the moment is the long term future of our planet upon which Wales, North & South, sits. If this 'Progress' at any cost continues apace, we'll all be building an ark on Rhigos Mountain in South Wales and on Mynydd Parys in North Wales.

When you're Gurning!

 

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gurn

 

 

I wonder if there's a Support Group called 'Gurner's Anonymous'. I feel strangely drawn to this ancient past time. Whether it is because I have a range of nervous facial ticks which I tend to indulge when I'm on my own. It might be because I know that before long I will be 'sans teeth' and will be able to gurn better. I remember Les Dawson and his agile facial features.  It appears that it dates back to the Egremont Crab Fair in Cumbria. Selfies are very popular on Social Media! What about Gurning Selfies?

 

 

 



Pigeon Pink Lilo

 

 

Pigeon Pink Lilo

 

 

(loosely based on the rhythm of Cargoes by John Masefield)
 

Pigeon pink lilo from distant Oldham

Rowing home to haven in distant Preston

With a cargo of litter,

and droppings and claw marks,

 Thunderbird, cider & cheap white wine.

 

Stately Bury barge coming down the lock gates

Chugging through the shit by the cobble grey stones

With a cargo of middle class, ageing tourists

Champagne Socialists

Creaking old bones.

 

Dirty British piss head with a smoke caked crack stack

Butting into conversations in the mad March ways.

With a cargo of bitterness

boredom, brain dead

Talking about the footy and the halcyon days.