Religious Porn

Chapel Going Welsh Couple Circa 2013

 

the reproaching glare

the pulpit stare

transports me back

quicker than any time machine

thou shalt not

rules & regs

written by a man

scripture

verse

Preacher leave those kids alone.

Do not indoctrinate!

That is a Commandment. 



Life Changes!

 

I've just had a loud knock on the front door but I didn't open it. I never open the door if I don't know who it is as I don't answer the phone if the number is withheld. The reason being that I don't generally want to see people or speak to people especially ones that I don't know. The letterbox has just gone and somebody has put something through. I hear a van or something moving off! Excuse me a moment while I go and check! (Footsteps down stairs/Footsteps up stairs) It turns out that it was Yodel, a delivery company and whatever they want to deliver has been delivered to another address in the street. Now apart from 1 person I don't know anybody in the street and I certainly don't know the ones identified on the little green card. I suppose it's not his fault that I didn't answer the door but I wasn't expecting a delivery and as I said I don't answer the door. Now I am going to be thinking about the people who have taken the delivery. They must be on the other side of the road because its an even number. Delivery drivers shouldn't leave parcels with other people. It's a liberty, it's taking advantage of other people's kindness or otherwise. All this happened just as I began to write this blog post. This post was going to be about other people. I had to go into the City Centre this afternoon, it is a 10 minute walk. How convenient I hear you cry but convenient for what? Shops? I went in to add some money on to my electrical key card and I've got a sneeking suspicion now that whatever is in that parcel, delivered to another address because I didn't want to answer the door is a device that is meant to save electricity. I didn't order it but the nice people at the Utilities company thought it would be a good idea if I had it. I went to this place to top-up because I knew there wouldn't be a queue. Do you like queuing? Do you like waiting in line? This was just off the main thoroughfare St Mary Street, Mon Dieu! What has happened to St Mary Street? My theory! Well since they pedestrianized it, all foot traffic has gone to the Hayes and St David's 1 & 2. Buses and Cars used to go down St Mary Street and many years before that: Trams. They used to have one side of the Big Shops and Big Buildings. Howells & David Morgan. Now it is Boozers, Bookies and Fast Food Joints! A new Tesco Extra is opening in Wood Street opposite the Bus Station that they said they were transforming. Convenience! It's all about Convenience. I am guilty and I am to blame because I don't like queuing. I WANT IT NOW! 

Very soon I anticipate Life Changes! I won't say too much in case they don't materialise but it will involve swopping one industrialised, convenient city centre for another. So I will be walking round that one, finding fault! I hope not! Cities are changing but I'm not! I need to change, to get with it but I am turning into an old curmudgeon! So how do you change from being a judgemental misanthropic introvert into someone who likes people, who embraces the hustle and bustle of the inner city? Your advice would be appreciated and you can leave your comments below! Ta!
  

A letter to a future employer

Dear Future Employer

I am writing to you because I am obliged to do so by the Department of Work and Pensions and the Job Centre to maintain my 'entitlement' to something called Job Seekers' Allowance. I don't really want your poxy job. I have a Mental Health condition called Manic Depression. You might have heard about it in the media. There, it is described as something called celebrity Bipolar disorder, people like Stephen Fry and Catherine Zeta Jones suffer with it. The French company Atos have deemed that I am fit for work, but not just any old work. Let me assure you of one thing! I am not a Yes man, you will not find me agreeing with you for the sake of an easy life and the minimum wage. If you are dishing out bullshit as an employer, I will let you know about it. Let's get this straight from the start as well, You need me, more than I need you. I have very few needs these days and have got used to living on the £71.70 that the British Government deem is satisfactory. I don't receive Housing Benefit or any other benefit but still they want me to apply to you, you greedy capitalist, for a job that will keep me out of trouble and off the streets.   I have a variety of qualifications but none of them appear to be of worth now because they are for jobs that require a high tolerance for stress. I have no tolerance for stress. I have been advised to leave my date of birth off my CV in case you might be tempted to be ageist and even though I cannot provide you with decent, up to date references, I will have to provide them upon request. Do us both a favour and ignore this letter or come up with some bullshit excuse because really I will be more of a liability to your workforce than of benefit. However if you have found my honesty refreshing and feel that I should be rewarded for such I would be interested in hearing back from you.

Yours Faithfully

A Jobseeker.

Shark Week

 

 

Mae rhaid i fi ddod  ag wythnos siarciau i ben gan ddatgan fy mharch ac edmygedd at bwrlwm sydd wedi bod ynghlwm ag Eisteddfod Dinbych 2013. Fel rwyf wedi datgan yn y gorffennol ar y blog yma, dydw i ddim yn hoff or Eisteddfod. Dwi ddim yn cyfforddus ymhysg fy nghyd Gymru ac dwi sicr ddim yn cytuno gyda cystadlu fel y cyfryw. Ond dwi yn caru yr iaith Gymraeg a dyna beth oedd gyda Nic Parry yn ei araith orffenedig wrth gynulleidfa yr eisteddfod heddiw. 

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newyddion/23649762

 

 

Erbyn hyn dwi'n siwr dych chi wedi sylweddoli fy mod i ddim yn dyn y sefydliad. Felli pwy yn fy nhyb i ydy Siarciau Cymru? Wel y Gwleidyddion o bob blaid wrth rheswm, Undeb Rygbi Cymru, y Cymry hynny sydd yn gwneud ei bywoliaeth ar cefn yr iaith. Onibai am athrawon, gwirfoddolwyr dylai fod yn y cyfryngau i gyd (So there!)

 

 

I have to bring Shark Week to a close by mentioning 'The Western Fail' allegedly it is the National Newspaper of Wales. £1.10 on a Saturday. On Page 1 today Katherine Jenkins has appealed for female solidarity "Women should be helping eachother rather than attacking eachother" On the opposite page is the story of the woman shot by her estranged husband in Newport. We pass a picture of Oprah and her handbag on pages 8 & 9 of World News. Page 19 and former mop topped grizzler of the National Assembly Podgy Morgan is slagging off Saunders Lewis: well nothing new there then. Aha this is more like it Pages 20&21 Cymdeithas yr Iaith said it will consider direct action against the Welsh Government if no substantial policy changes follow the shock Welsh Language 2011 Census results. "If the Government doesn't start taking positive steps, we'll take action against them- there'll be a duty on us to draw attention to the seriousness of the situation. The planning system should be transformed to ensure a growth in the number of Welsh speaking communities"