Language was the absolute key to all of this

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Wednesday, 28 March 2012

The Rubik's Cube of Life


I could never get the hang of them myself! They are a pretty good metaphor for life, the old Rubik's cube. 'Poysonally' I think you have to disassemble your own life, look at the bits and put them back in a way more suitable to present day living. You need to be more of a 'Taoist Cube' so that if you are thrown against the wall, you bounce back, instead of shattering into little bits. 'Bend like the Reed' brothers and sisters. 
Yesterday I had to get out of the 'Diff' again. Cheap Day Return to Bristol Temple Meads and then a bus to Clifton. I usually get off by the Museum and walk back down but I stayed on it and got off in a lovely little area. With a take away Latte from Nero's(Oooh la la! Have been boycotting them, since discovering that they don't pay any tax, like me)) to get myself in prime position for the Freebie next time, I sat down on a bench outside Clifton Library which it turns out is not open Tuesdays and Thursdays. I've done this many times, arrived in an alien area and like a dog marking its territory I walk about to get the vibe. I saw a man in a waistcoat looking rather aristocatic and I wrote down in my notebook 'Walking Pomposity in a waistcoat' and lo and behold on my way back to the main thoroughfare I spied a bookshop which was having a closing down sale and who was sitting in the back but the very same gentleman. I gave him a £1.00 for Paul Theroux's Patagonian Express and left thinking about him, his life, his shop, Amazon and Internet Booksellers and my own judgementalism.
On a good day I claim to be a Socialist but I don't know what I am really. I realised yesterday that the wealthy are vulnerable as well. I realised this as I helped push a Rangerover which had stalled at the lights. I didn't think twice as another two hunter gatherers were doing the same and there was a lady and little child at the wheel. The wealthy 'break down' as well but I suppose that they have better support structures and can afford to go private and pay for Counselling and Psychotherapy! Waiting for Cognitive Behavior Therapy on the NHS is like waiting for Hell to freeze over. I have been on the waiting list six years now, since my diagnosis, so I presume that they have forgotten or I am no longer on the list. Good thing it's not an emergency eh? Well it was back then. I suppose what I've had, that others don't have, is the luxury of time.
Since the age of 39 when I had my second 'breakthrough' I have had the opportunity to disassemble my Rubik's cube. Take it apart, blow out the dust, shine a light on the dark and dusty corners inside. Very few have this luxury! I think it's a necessity actually and not a luxury.
After calling into the Folk House for my copy of Spark Magazine I discovered Bristol Central Library which was open till 7.30 and had a Juice Bar inside. How civilized! I read books on Personal Finance and on Bipolar Disorder and on Mental Health Nursing. I'm either getting ill or better because I'm entertaining the idea of helping other people with their disassembled Rubik's cubes....yes, even the wealthy! 


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How To Be Idle
Second Sight
Freud: The Key Ideas
The Yellow World
Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other
Going Mad?: Understanding Mental Illness
Back To Sanity: Healing the Madness of Our Minds
Ham on Rye
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Murder in Amsterdam: The Death of Theo van Gogh and the Limits of Tolerance
On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft
I Bought a Mountain
Hovel in the Hills: An Account of the Simple Life
Ring of Bright Water
The Thirty-Nine Steps
A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose
The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment
The Seat of the Soul


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