Obstruction

Anywhere you go, in this day and age, you are likely to be obstructed. Your physical progress in day to day activities like driving gas guzzlers is likely to be impeded by traffic jams and parking restrictions. We have sensed a rise in racism since the Brexit vote of 2016 but the Shark Fisherman of Wales has also felt a growing sense of claustrophobia. If you want to get somewhere you have to physically factor in the likelihood of delays. This over powering sense on occasion of being hemmed in, of gasping for air, especially on sweaty, sultry days like yesterday. If I feel like this in the countryside, imagine what sensitive snowflakes in the cities feel like. When I return to Kairdiff from West Wales which is less often these days, if I am able to borrow a motor vehicle, I make sure that I leave late in the evening so that there is less likelihood of traffic congestion. I, like everyone else, prefer a smooth run but dependent on the time of day this is less and less likely. The Bus takes 4 and a half hours from Aber to Cardiff (although I am told that there is a faster one now), the train takes you through Shrewsbury to get to Caerdydd and that is over 4 and a half hours. When you consider that it is 2 and a half hours to get to Paddington from Cardiff Central by train, then the word obstruction springs to mind. We in Wales are being obstructed from progressing. Barricades are being put in our way, both physical and metaphorical. It is not in London Government's best interests to have a Wales where people can get about, they might unite.

Another example of obstruction is in ones pursuit of employment. If one has been unemployed as long as me, then the matter of references becomes a burden. I wonder now, who can I contact from 2005, who will be able to give me a reference?  How do you give somebody who suffered a drug induced psychosis a character reference? Here are a number of fictitious references I imagine could be written about me:

"If he gets bored, he will just walk off the job"

" Keep him interested and give him some variety, otherwise he will tell you what you can do with your job"

" He is not interested in money so make sure that you can spin some higher, esoteric, altruistic motive behind your soulless, mind numbing job"

The obstruction is in my mind. I have bought into 'Learned Helplessness' big style. The rats putting their paws on a pad and getting an electric shock and then giving up. I realise that I gave up on life at the age of 22. I have been going through the motions for the last 30 years, not feeling anything, not allowing myself to feel anything. This disassociation as a defence mechanism. Withdraw into yourself and then just leave your physical form for others to deal with. The reality of life's obstructions are just too much to deal with so we just pretend that they don't exist, we retreat into drink and drugs and addictive behaviour to numb the pain of thwarted ambition, or we cheat and go round the obstruction, instead of over it. You will recognise the people who do this immediately. They are our elected representatives in Parliament. They realised very early on that they wouldn't need references. Just join the local party and voila, you can become leader without very much life experience at all. I am starting to realise that Government is the obstruction in all our lives and 'learned helplessness' is voting them back in every 5 years.